Stop Me When I Start Lying: Sexism VS. Gender Understanding

In this first Stop Me If I Start Lying of the year 2010, I'd like to explore some of my views on gender traits and relations. This is often dangerous territory becuz it leads to the perception that u are a sexist for bringing these trends up. However, even when they start pulling out the word sexist, I rarely hear anybody justifiably disagree with me on the ideas that I highlight. I love women and they're irreplaceable.
DISCLAIMER: Before reading any further, please know that just as all generalizations do, these traits do not apply to every woman, it's just an popular topic I've seen evidence of in my dealing with women. Men have their share of issues too and I don't deny that; however, I've learned how to deal and function around and within them more than I have so far with the female gender.

• It's 2010 and a lot of women argue that they're no longer restricted to gender roles, men and women are now equal, and they don't need no man. However, I tend to find this only applies at their convenience, men are still expected to buy a drink just for the "privilege" of talking to some chick u don't even know (and in her eyes, any friends she brought too), on any casual date it is expected that he will pay (not meaning women paying doesn't happen, but that women paying is still very much a luxury and it's often a victory if she's cool with a split bill). It seems at times as if they believe their money is more valuable than a man's. I've even heard women cite guys they know that are strictly platonic friends who they call only when they want to go out somewhere but not want to spend any of their money and they know he'll pick it up. Men who don't embody the traditional gender role of being a working provider are often ridiculed. I don't think I know a guy who haven't run themselves broke at some point to make sure his lady has a good time; i dunno how many ladies I know who would have done the same.
• I'm not and most likely never will be a huge women's basketball fan. No offense, but I watch sports to marvel at what the athletes can do. I need to see people getting dunked on, catching alley oops, and things of this nature to stay excited. I get called racist when I say this but women don't attend women's bball nearly as much as men's bball either.
  
• I'm very independent and solution-oriented, I was raised that way and that isn't gonna change. It became a character trait that I admire; someone who wants a man rather than just needing one. I don't usually ask for things, that is often my last resort if finding my own answer or solution proves unsuccessful or irrational. I've met women who are the opposite, they'd rather ask than get their hands dirty or make changes to their tough process. After a certain age, reaching out to parents or ur man before attempting to find ur own solutions just ain't right. Life throws obstacles at people, adapting and finding ways to deal with them independently is part of growing up. As Kevin Hart would say "U have to be a part of ur own rescue."
• Shopping is not a hobby. Hobbies are constructive activities that build skills and may or not require money (instruments, supplies, etc). Shopping is the HABIT of spending money on urself. Much different.
• I believe that beautiful women are the most manipulative and privileged (in an everyday action sense) people on the planet. There are so many things that would fly coming from some beautiful woman that would not fly coming from some guy. I've heard women complain about not being bought drinks all night, not getting free, not being able to skip the line and get in free at crowded night spots, not being able to flirt their way out of speeding tickets, even just not getting their way every time they ask for something, and many other things becuz they're used to them. They don't get any sympathy from me becuz unless I have connections, none of those things will happen to me anyway. They take advantage of this objectification but then protest the fact that women are objectified. It's one thing if u're beautiful but u're still down to earth about things and happen to get some perks thrown ur way, that's no problem. But those who purposely flaunt things or act certain ways (flirting, sensual positioning, etc) just to take advantage shouldn't be complaining about being objectified.
• If chivalry is dead (rather than just in a reduced role), then women undoubtedly killed it. Don't complain about lack of chivalry when u don't respect nice guys anymore urself. Chivalry was started becuz it was how u won a lady over, nowadays, it's more likely so send them away, or prompt her to make u the platonic friend she calls when she wants to go out for drinks and get u to pay for them.
• It's interesting to me that both a total lack of self-esteem or an overwhelming sense of self-esteem can both create a monster of out a woman. Too much self-esteem can make a woman unapproachable (even for a regular convo rather than trying holla) and shrewd out of believing they're better than everyone around them. And lack of self-esteem (or self-esteem entirely linked to physical appearance and attention) can manifest itself a lot of different negative ways which we've all seen and I doubt I really have to explain.
• Women making up deep and intricate scenarios in their minds about something that can be explained very simply has begun to annoy me. There are things I've heard women talk about and make up some negative scenario about that I seriously doubt the guy involved even noticed. And then they look at me like I'm crazy if I tell them to fine a way to just ask the guy. I guess they prefer the scenario n rumor game over an explanation, go figure. Men aren't mind readers, talk to us when somethin like this comes up.
  
• Women cheat too, it's not all on us. Honestly, women are a lot better and more efficient at it becuz of the lack of testosterone which causes guys to do extra macho and stupid things.
• The gang mentality that goes on between a lot of women annoys me. While watchin Bad Girls Club at a friend's lady's house, she explained it to me and my friend. Like when there's an argument or something, you automatically have to take sides with ur crew despite how u actually feel about the issue. Ladies, please realize that this 'Absolutist Ultimatum' (the whole "You're either with us or against us" concept) is what every destructive or oppressive force (slave-taking colonists, corrupt bureaucracies, radical political parties, etc) has used to either force compliance or justify attack or alienation. U shouldn't have to deal with that amongst ur friends, keep that in mind. Mentally put urself in the position of both sides of the dispute and then make ur assessment.
• Relationship of not, people need friends. Oftentimes, women kind of disappear from their circle of friends in favor of him. Although I respect this commitment, I think it's too much. And it often causes her to expect him to alienate him from his friends too, which ain't always gonna happen. I feel like people need a few days a wk with their gf/bf, a few days with their friends, and a day or two to themselves. And I'll defend that balance whole heartily.
• "Oh. Well that's different." I've come to hate those words, the justification of BS double standards. If u nag at a guy about something he does when u do the exact same thing, it's not different, it's the exact same thing. Face it. It's hard but I had to learn to admit when I'm wrong about somethin, a lotta women I've met have yet to figure that out.
• Another phrase I've come to hate: "But it's just the way I am." Don't go out being critical of everyone else and wanting ppl to change if u can't deal with criticism. Everybody's shit stinks, if u're critical of ppl, be prepared to hear about urself when u step outta line too. The whole "I can't change, it's just how I am" defense ain't gonna fly.
  

U may think I sound a little sexist, but look at the points objectively and see how many of them u wholeheartedly disagree with. There are women who are exceptions to these points and I love them for that, but they often try to act like these kinds of women are myths that men made up to justify saying these kind of things; they are not. I wrote these out of real life experiences I've had or witnessed. Old gender roles create a condition where women (not all, but many times benefit more from a good relationship than men do. I think a blending of old school gender roles and new age women empowerment is what is necessary for a good, working relationship here in the 2010s. I once sat in a room full of women who all raised their hands when asked "Would u want ur husband to be a stay-at-home husband?" And to this day, I still think at least 90% were lying and wouldn't deal with that situation in reality. I feel like the relationship would b filled with arguments about how he can't make big decisions becuz he's not working and accusations about what he's doing with all his free time. I'm not signing up for that. And in light of the previously mentioned point, any questions about anything I've said should b directed to me and not a circle of female friends who will fill in assumptions for me. Please just ask me. I'll step out on a limb and say that most anyone who reads this will know ppl who fit these descriptions. Stop Me When I Start Lying...

So please, leave me a comment whether u honestly think I'm sexist or just very conscious of differences between the genders. But regardless of wut u say, I've Been Called Worse...