Stop Me When I Start Lying: The Engagement Ring Scam

Oh, so I'm cheap if I don't spend 3-4 months salary on an engagement ring? Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit. You can't con a conman. Where did such a "rule" come from?...Oh, the biggest diamond company in the world. It's that fucking convenient. That's like a car company making commercial calling you cheap if you're not spending $70K or more on a car; yeah, cuz that's not a conflict of interest or anything. Once upon a time, people got engaged with no ring, and got married with only a wedding band; to signify their bond. Then in the 1930's, DeBeers (the world's dominant jeweler, who just found an abundance of diamonds in South African mines) hired a marketing agency to figure out how to move more diamonds. The agency polls Americans and finds that every day Americans think diamonds are only for the super rich. So the company response was "Hey, what if I told you that for one month's salary you can get a diamond for your fiance until she gets her wedding ring?" Americans jumped on it. 40 years later or so, they decide to get even more greedy and revamp their campaign suggesting 2-3 months' salary be spent on the engagement ring instead. I didn't come from a big money family, I have a good job now, if I save up 25% of my yearly salary, it needs to be getting spent on a house, or some other major investment, not a trinket to sit on my lady's finger. And I love my lady. But I call any woman crazy if she feels "entitled" to a ring worth 3 months salary. Hell, if she's trying to start a life with you, is she still gonna expect you to save up enough for a wedding and down payment immediately after? Sound like some selfish shit to me. When's the next time you ladies are gonna spend 25% of a good jobs' salary on one specific gift for your man mother fuckers? Not for the both of you, not for him and the kids, just for your man? Never. So fellas, get your woman something nice that she should like and direct your financial goals elsewhere (house, business, investment, etc.). If your lady don't think you good enough or don't love her enough because you didn't spend car money on the ring, fuck her, she's too materialistic anyway. Stop Me When I Start Lying...

Stop Me When I Start Lyin: AP is not Ray Rice

Despite the other involved factors in the Ray Rice situation becoming such a big debacle (the commissioners' continually hypocritical stance changes, the Ravens' possible cover up attempt, the phantom security footage sent/not sent to the NFL office, etc.), no one can deny Ray Rice was wrong in both aspects of his transgression: the action itself, and the severity. The severity of punching your woman so hard it knocks her unconscious is horrific. But even if she weren't knocked unconscious, the action of punching your wife is wrong, especially being that the video shows she wasn't imminently pressing the action. No matter what happened before to lead up to it, when you're in the position Ray's in (career with high visibility, very high salary, short career span, etc.), you have to handle it better than he did. Hell, they were the only two in the elevator, had he not dragged her out and dropped her on her face, suspicion wouldn't have been heightened. But the die has been cast for Rice, and he'd have to get lucky to have a second chance in the NFL during his prime.

Adrian Peterson is not Ray Rice. Peterson is in hot water because his 4 year old child was taken to the hospital with lots of welts from AP whipping him with a switch. Once again, I like at 1) the action, and 2) the severity. The action itself of whipping your child is not alarming at all to me; I was a bad kid once and my parents kept me in line this way. As for the whip, Adrien Peterson is from Palestine, TX. I've never been but it strikes me as an old school country place. Although I was raised in more of a city (I got punched in the face instead), I have country cousins, country friends, city friends who spent time with their country family members, etc. EVERYBODY got beaten with a switch, it virtually ALWAYS leaves welts. AP was likely no different as a kid, it's what he knows. So my issue with the switch wasn't its use alone, that's where severity comes in. The kid is 4, which I believe is too young for the switch to be used. He should still be getting open hand-to-butt whooping over clothes I believe. Plus AP is a professional athlete and workout addict, if you were using a switch (which I don't condone), it should be getting a very very dialed back swing instead of any full swings; and probably 3-4 swings instead of 15 or whatever it was. AP has several kids by several women, meaning he likely rarely spends one on one time with some of these kids. Could the kid have been disobeying out of unfamiliarity which contributed? I don't know. But AP went overboard which how he punished his child this particular time. He may need to be suspended for a short while, sent to some time of parenting counseling, learn a lesson to make himself a better parent, and move on. I don't think this should be treated like Rice's situation. I don't think he should be cut, banned from the league, or anything else. He's a parent who did the wrong thing for the right reason (presumably). I assume every parent probably had moments where they went overboard to make a point, learned from it and never did it again. Just because he's a pro athlete doesn't mean we can remove his opportunity to learn on the job as a parent. Let's keep this in context. Stop Me When I Start Lying...

#Ferguson and the lack of police accountability

By now, everyone should know about the protests in Ferguson, MO set off by the police shooting of unarmed Michael Brown. If you don't know, also Google the police killings of Eric Garner and John Crawford. For a long time, it has been common knowledge that Blacks (particularly young Black men) have significantly less leeway or benefit of the doubt when interacting with law enforcement; I was about 12 years old when my dad had the "how not to get shot in vain by the police" talk with me. If you don't, you will be accountable instantly - via arrest, beating, or shooting. However, recent events have demonstrated the extent to which they can A) use excessive physical or legal force without fear of punishment or accountability, B) get caught lying about it without fear of punishment or accountability, and C) still be defended by large factions of the population. Death is definite, there is absolutely no coming back from that. Brown was shot in the head and upper body after allegedly after surrendering, because he stole cigars from a convenient store.  The policeman said Brown attacked him and he ended up killing him in a struggle over the gun; ballistics showed Brown was shot from at least 35' away. The national media put Brown on trial for his own murder. Was Brown a knucklehead? It's very likely that he was. If he was caught stealing, he deserved to get arrested. If he resists, he may even deserve to get roughed up a little; he didn't deserve to be shot six times from 35' away. Eric Garner was selling cigarettes on the sidewalk, and then had a bit of a smart mouth when police approached him. So they choked him and dragged him to the ground while he wasn't resisting and was insisting "I Can't Breath." The police arrived with his dead body and claimed he died of a heart attack; cell phone video of the incident and the medical examiner both confirm that he was choked to death. In both cases, lethal force was not necessary as the suspect was unarmed and outgunned/outnumbered; the cops acted carelessly and excessively. What's more alarming? The police superiors don't seem very pressed to punish the officers for their overly aggressive action. What the fuck? Who's going to #PolicethePolice when they step out of line? And my last point is the support for the police. Now, I'm biased, I'm a young Black man whose had a few undeserved unpleasant interactions with the police. But how the hell are people countering the #Ferguson rallies with their own rallies hailing the policemen as a hero? Even if you think that the shooting was provoked by Brown and the cop didn't have much choice; it still wouldn't make him a "hero" it would mean it was an unfortunate necessary action on the job. Even if you still have faith in the police as an institution, how the fuck is he a hero? Are these people saying that he's a hero just because he shot a young Black knucklehead and left him in the street for hours, possibly as a message to his predominately Black neighborhood? Then the Ferguson protesters were treated like a crime mob when they were protesting the death of a kid who grew up there from the street they live on. There were snipers, tear gas being thrown, others getting shot, unlawful arrests, and everything else. The scenes from Ferguson look like the army squashing rebel protests in 3rd World Middle Eastern countries. But the NRA, KKK, and other have armed rallies on a regular basis and the police don't even get out of their cars. Long story short, I don't blame the whole police institution for "bad apples" shooting ppl. I don't think all, or even most, cops are bad. But I absolutely blame them for not bothering to reprimand them when they kill unarmed civilians and/or get caught lying about it. To defend the institution as non-corrupt, you have to treat the "bad apples" like fucking "bad apples" and get rid of them. I don't think this is a new trend, I think the new trend is people having smart phones to tape it happening. And no matter what, even if they shoot a 8 year old Black girl in her bedroom (yes, that has happened), someone will absolutely defend them as "heroes." Maybe those are the ppl they "Protect and Serve" cuz it damn sure ain't me.