Stop Me When I Start Lyin: AP is not Ray Rice

Despite the other involved factors in the Ray Rice situation becoming such a big debacle (the commissioners' continually hypocritical stance changes, the Ravens' possible cover up attempt, the phantom security footage sent/not sent to the NFL office, etc.), no one can deny Ray Rice was wrong in both aspects of his transgression: the action itself, and the severity. The severity of punching your woman so hard it knocks her unconscious is horrific. But even if she weren't knocked unconscious, the action of punching your wife is wrong, especially being that the video shows she wasn't imminently pressing the action. No matter what happened before to lead up to it, when you're in the position Ray's in (career with high visibility, very high salary, short career span, etc.), you have to handle it better than he did. Hell, they were the only two in the elevator, had he not dragged her out and dropped her on her face, suspicion wouldn't have been heightened. But the die has been cast for Rice, and he'd have to get lucky to have a second chance in the NFL during his prime.

Adrian Peterson is not Ray Rice. Peterson is in hot water because his 4 year old child was taken to the hospital with lots of welts from AP whipping him with a switch. Once again, I like at 1) the action, and 2) the severity. The action itself of whipping your child is not alarming at all to me; I was a bad kid once and my parents kept me in line this way. As for the whip, Adrien Peterson is from Palestine, TX. I've never been but it strikes me as an old school country place. Although I was raised in more of a city (I got punched in the face instead), I have country cousins, country friends, city friends who spent time with their country family members, etc. EVERYBODY got beaten with a switch, it virtually ALWAYS leaves welts. AP was likely no different as a kid, it's what he knows. So my issue with the switch wasn't its use alone, that's where severity comes in. The kid is 4, which I believe is too young for the switch to be used. He should still be getting open hand-to-butt whooping over clothes I believe. Plus AP is a professional athlete and workout addict, if you were using a switch (which I don't condone), it should be getting a very very dialed back swing instead of any full swings; and probably 3-4 swings instead of 15 or whatever it was. AP has several kids by several women, meaning he likely rarely spends one on one time with some of these kids. Could the kid have been disobeying out of unfamiliarity which contributed? I don't know. But AP went overboard which how he punished his child this particular time. He may need to be suspended for a short while, sent to some time of parenting counseling, learn a lesson to make himself a better parent, and move on. I don't think this should be treated like Rice's situation. I don't think he should be cut, banned from the league, or anything else. He's a parent who did the wrong thing for the right reason (presumably). I assume every parent probably had moments where they went overboard to make a point, learned from it and never did it again. Just because he's a pro athlete doesn't mean we can remove his opportunity to learn on the job as a parent. Let's keep this in context. Stop Me When I Start Lying...

The Return of Royalty in Cleveland

After four straight NBA Finals appearances, two championships, and two Finals MVPs, the best basketball player in the world returned to his hometown team, where his career begin. I didn't think he'd consider a return until later in his career. It surprised me because the Cavs have been the worse team in the league since he left. But as I read his masterfully written article "I'm Coming Home" explaining his decision, I realized it was a perfect move in almost every way. First, let's talk from a basketball point of view. Ironically, LeBron's departure - which allowed the Cavs to go from the NBA's best record to the worst record - actually facilitated the infusion of young talent (Kyrie Irving, Andrew Wiggins, Anthony Bennett...kinda) that made them more appealing; and may serve as trade chips to get a big fish like Kevin Love. That team, as currently constructed without Love, doesn't look like a contender right now. But assuming Irving and Wiggins develop, they could be a contender in 2-3 years and remain there for a decade. Can you imagine the legacy boost of winning a championship in CLEVELAND? That's like winning 2 or 3 for a winning franchise. From a business standpoint, he was saavy enough to fund his lifelong friends' educations and empowering them to become his agent and advisors; they now have businesses, all based in Cleveland. His best friend and agent, Rich Paul's, second biggest client now plays for the Cleveland Browns; some guy named Johnny Manziel. Imagine the marketing opportunities for two of the most polarizing and popular athletes both in little Cleveland represented by the same agency; and they're friends. That usually doesn't happen outside of big marketing locations like New York and Los Angeles. And hell, LeBron might want to own the Cavs one day; and he seems business saavy enough to be in position financially one day. But most importantly, it made sense from a personal perspective. For someone who had to watch his hometown fans burning his jersey, I can't imagine a better story than righting that wrong and returning your hometown team to glory. Now those ppl are rushing to buy new ones, since the popular Google search, "how to un-burn a jersey" probably isn't getting ppl too far. As much as he's done with his charitable foundation in Miami, he really wants to help and inspire the youth of his hometown above all else. Plus his wife wants to raise their kids there. Overall, as much Miami hates it and LeBron haters try to use it against him, this was a hell of a move on all counts. Congrats Cleveland, after all of your sports heartbreak, the King has returned.

Do Better: Donald "The Dinosaur" Sterling Fucking Up

There's enough people re-hashing everything the Clippers owner said on the tape that now has people of all races requesting his dismissal as the team's owner. Everyone has re-hashed how deplorable his bigoted, racist, sexist antics have been. So I won't bother you with that again. I'll tell you simply the different ways that he just royally fucked up. I'll pull in a dark-skinned Black man, actor Bill Dukes, to help me make my point:

The secret's out:  We know he's not alone in his mind state sadly. He's from an era when rich white men could look down on, exploit, and mistreat minorities, women, or the poor without anyone thinking twice of it. He's paid his way out of having to fess up many times before; this time he got set up and caught. At least the other old bigots and racists learn to dust their tracks.

• Worse possible timing: He's been the laughing stock of the league for years and his franchise was branded undesirable to go to. They had just started making ground shedding his reputation as an cheap, out-of-touch, racist, sexist bastard because his team is now a legit title contender and a trendy destination. And the Lakers are in a downturn, so the opportunity is there. Now he's on the verge of being abandoned by his fans, coaches, and players.
• His dick got him in trouble: Yep, even at 80. Sterling's lawyer claimed that the woman who released the tape, his half-Black, half-Mexican mistress V. Stiviano, was trying to get him back for the lawsuit his family had against her. Well, SHE GOT HIS ASS. She pressed "record" and provoked him and he fell in the trap quickly.
• Forgot where he came from: He grew up poor and working with lower to lower middle class people in law. Now he's rich and maintains such feelings thinking that his money makes him bulletproof. Rich ppl cut ties with rich ppl who are "bad for business" quickly. You may have made yourself a lepper professionally.
• Using slave master language: His language about how he gives his players food, houses, and cars sounded much like how I'd imagine a slave master would highlight that his actions are justified by the food and shelter he provided the free labor on his plantation. Like I can only associate with the Black people I'm exploiting for money, noone else. I can only guess who Chris Paul felt hearing that.
• And most importantly...
• Wrong sport, wrong place, wrong time: You decided to buy an NBA team (the least white of the major sports leagues), which he moved from San Diego to Los Angeles (one of the most multi-cultural cities in the world). In 2014, you're trying to make ur multi-cultural girlfriend stop associating with basketball royalty like Magic Johnson? WTF? If you bought a hockey team and moved it to Idaho, you might not have these problems.

It's 2014 and the world has changed a great deal since the heyday of the mindset Sterling has illustrated to the world this week. Especially if he wants to keep young girlfriends who grew up in a more progressive world. The commissioner can't just snatch his team from him, but they need to find a way to add pressure or have a vote to get him out. Sponsors are leaving, fans are leaving, players and coaches may leave when their chance comes and he's turned a city against him that he was just starting to see slant his direction over the Lakers. Now ppl are waiting for you to be removed from his position whether by force, sale, or his death (sad but true). Take a bow you dinosaur, you've made quite a bed for yourself this time. I hope you're faced to sell it to Magic Johnson of all people and he spits in ur face right after the contract is signed. Do Better...

Real Talk: Using Athletes to Break Down the Barriers of Racial Understanding

Thank you Richard Sherman, DeSean Jackson, LeBron James, and so many others, you've helped me to start some conversations that our great nation needs so many more of. Racism still exists, but I argue that it's not the biggest problem between anymore, the biggest problem is unconscious discomfort and dismissiveness due to misunderstanding. I'm a young Black man who went to middle and high school in the hood (although my parents were able to move us out of that) and has friends from all walks of life; by being around different people you understand different people and learn how you fit into things. I now work in somewhat of a corporate setting and some of my co-workers are from the most affluent and least diverse upbringings imaginable. I get along with everyone and they see me as a peer, but from time to time I'm reminded that they just fundamentally do not understand much of what I've been through, much less what those truly from less fortunate backgrounds deal with in life. When such a subject comes up, I feel an obligation to speak for speak for a population they shun and will never willing be within 1000 feet of that they're acting bigoted towards because they don't understand them and have dismissed them as lost causes; even when they're completely wrong. For instance, it was laughable that Richard Sherman was being called a thug (and other worse racial epithets) after his emotional interview in the immediate aftermath of making essentially a game-winning play to send his team to the Super Bowl. With the exception of those who immediately went racial, I'd assume those who haven't been around young Black males or around football players were largely uncomfortable with this level of aggressiveness and decided he had to be a thug. No, he's a football player, who plays a position that all but requires over-confident, in the heat of the moment. He's was a young man strong to beat the odds and make it from a very bad neighborhood (between Watts and Compton, in South L.A.) to Stanford (where he had a 3.9 GPA) and then the NFL. He's hired by Sports Illustrated as a writer on the side. This isn't a bad apple; those who dismissed him were unequivocally wrong. But they wouldn't call the hockey players who started off a game by throwing down their sticks as fighting such a strong word when they fit the definition. Upon cutting DeSean Jackson, someone in the Eagles organization apparently told the media that part of the reason was his ties to gangs or gang members. My co-worker tried to convince me that if he was from such a bad neighborhood, he'd move his family away from there and never go back. He went as far as to say he'd take off running the other way if he ever saw anyone from his old neighborhood. Really? No giving back to your community? No trying to help more kids make it out? No going home...ever? Taking off running from a high school teammate? Furthermore, isn't instantly moving and paying for dozens of people one of the major ways athletes cited as going broke on the "30 for 30" special "Broke"? That's not a sound financial decision. When life hands you a raw deal as a kid, those who help you navigate and make it through that form a bond with you that should last a lifetime. Like I said, I lived in a decent area but went to school with "undesirables" and I tell people that they were part of the reason I didn't get involved in anything bad; despite teenage curiosities, they shielded me from that because I had the potential for much more. I'm sure DeSean Jackson has similar more dramatic stories. I have former teammates who went the wrong direction and friends behind bars or dead. Like me, he has to be careful about exactly how he interacts with them now and it might not be appropriate for you to be rolling with them how you once did. But if I was a celebrity and I ran into them, I'd dap them up, if they wanted a picture, I'd take a picture with them, I might let them sit at my table at a restaurant and chat it up. But that would be it. You show love. But those raised among the rich don't get that because A) the rich are quick to shun or forget someone else if they fall of the pace of their rich peers, and B) they may never have to deal with someone from DeSean Jackson's background. I have these conversations because even if they don't agree, even if having their perspective makes them mad, I want them to physically hear the other perspective from someone they respect as a peer. Then I use the LeBron example. LeBron is a kid from the projects of Akron who became the best ball player in the world, did he turn his back on his childhood friends? No, he kept them close and put them to work. One of his teenage friends, Rich Paul, is now his agent and quickly becoming one of the most powerful agents in the NBA. They don't get more famous and successful than where LeBron is now, but rather than shunning Akron; he brought them to the top with him. And they're not ghetto, they're not freeloading leaches, or just a useless social entourage, they're legit, they're earning the place they were given at the table. So he's allowing others from a less fortunate situation to make it because he has made it; he's opening up new avenues, which is powerful. That doesn't happen if you're quick to turn your back to them. So even if my coworkers don't agree, I want them to hear it said by a peer and it bouncing around in their minds, because that's at least a step towards understanding. And that also is powerful and we need more of that everywhere. Real Talk...

Stop Me When I Start Lying: Golf losing its faces

In the wake of Bubba Watson's 2nd Majors win (and awesome celebration dinner at Waffle House), it's becoming apparent: golf may be in trouble. Not from a talent standpoint, but from a national appeal and attention standpoint. Watson, Rory McIlroy (being flicked by current face of golf in picture above), Jordan Spieth, Adam Scott, and others have the talent to be good for a long time. But if noone becomes dominant or (darker option) divisive, who's gonna watch them instead of binge watching shows on their DVR on Sunday? Tiger Woods has been the polarizing but undoubted face of the sport for 15 years or so now. He was so good he changed all the expectations of golfers; he's still #1 in the world and won more than any other golfer last year despite the public acting like me may be done. He created intrigue from being a young Black phenom in an elitist sport to a mysterious car crash and about 700 women bragging that they took a swing on his 9 iron. For a million different reasons - including his dominance, physique, his temper, his race, his tabloid personal life, etc. - Tiger has brought a million different eyes to the sport that weren't watching before. As an African-American male, I'll admit I am more interested in golf (for watching and as a hobby) now than I was before Tiger started dominating; after all, it's a sports that's never seemed very inviting to people of color. But beyond race, plenty of people of all demographics became more interested in golf either to marvel at him or root against him. In a sport that's run by filthy rich middle-aged elitist country club white guys, Tiger didn't look, act, or sound like them. He was kicking their asses though; some liked that, some couldn't stand it. It seemed to invite "outsiders" in, at least as fans or weekend players if not pros. But even past Tiger, the #2 draw was also unquestioned, Phil Mickelson has been the left-handed good guy chasing Tiger's top spot. Even if you rooted against him for Tiger, it's hard not to like Phil. He just seems like a great guy. But he's 43 and Tiger is a physically beaten down 38, meaning both of their primes are in the rear view mirror. So who's taking the torch? Rory looked set to do it: young, talented, famous athlete girlfriend, commercials with Tiger, etc. But then he follows up winning majors with virtual "no shows" missing cuts and such. Until he becomes consistently good, "Rory McIlroy Golf" isn't gonna sell EA Sports video games like "Tiger Woods Golf" has. I like that Bubba Watson gives off the image of a non-elitist; after all he goes by Bubba, makes silly music videos, and follows up majors wins with celebration meals at Waffle House. But is his name and face gonna get kids to buy golf video games over Call of Duty? And he's quietly almost as old Tiger. They released the ratings for the Masters today and they're down a solid 35% from just last year. And I don't see it turning back the other way unless something big happens soon. Although I think Tiger and Phil have a bit left in the tank, at this moment golf seems (alongside boxing) as sports that are in a countdown to losing the stars that have fueled the sports' relevance in recent history. You might not like that I said it, but Stop Me When I Start Lying...

Do Better: NFL players f***king up with women

I'm lost on this. More people wanna talk about the Dolphins bullying and Michael Sam the gay prospect instead of some serous character flaws in successful current and former players. Maybe it's just me, if I feel like I need to put hands on my lady, I'm probably gonna "cancel her" (Nino Brown quote) before going Kimbo Slice on her. Plus because of my mom's crafty personality, I grew up believing my mom would get my dad back in his sleep if he ever put hands on her; I took that to heart. So when I saw the video of Ravens running back Ray Rice dragging his fiance out of the elevator of a casino after (allegedly) knocking her out cold. I've heard of couples having a fight cutting each other up a little bit, but she looked sleep like Manny Pacquiao after the Marquez fight. She looked like a World Star Hip Hop fight comp victim or something while he looked very non-chalant while dragging her (not carrying her, not throwing her over his shoulder, but dragging) and setting her on the hallway floor face down. I'll be the first to admit: I don't know what she did, she might have been just as culpable in things getting physical but yet and still, it's on you as a young Black man (much less a rich, recognizable young Black man) to keep the situation contained. If she's hitting you (which I don't condone either, women gotta stop using the "I'm a woman" excuse to beat the shit out of a dude) grab her to restrain her or something. Shit looks bad for Ray Rice right now. And following a subpar season anyway, you may have really fucked up. And now (drum roll please)...Darren motherfucking Sharper. ***closes eyes, shakes head*** I don't know where to start. The 'fine ass' (as reported by several women over the years) retired football player is accused of drugging and raping up to about 10 women in a few different states. They're calling this man a serial rapist. I'll repeat: he's "fine", in shape, famous, former athlete, well off (if not still str8 up rich) with a TV commentator position and you're drugging women and stealing the pussy? Are you fucking kidding me?? If you have any semblance of charm or personality (he got hired to be commentator after all), women should be throwing the box at you. Look above, this dude pulled Gabrielle Union back in the day for God's sake. How the fuck you go from that to stealing the box from everyday women? Are you drugging the few who say no? Are you drugging them to save time talking them up? I don't fucking understand. I realize these situations are still in the investigation stage and I may be jumping to early conclusion. But (excuse my N-word), these violating ass niggas need a preemptive Do Better...

Long Live Richard Sherman

Cocky bastard or Community activist? Accused thug or Stanford educated Masters scholar? Classless shit talker or confident shut down corner? Don't let perception convince you that Richard Sherman is something that he is not. I started this blog entry right after he set social media on fire by going off in an off-field interview right after he made a great play that sealed a trip to the Super Bowl for his team. Since you can't badmouth his game after such a play, his detractors resorted to calling him a thug or racially derogatory terms. For those who don't know, cornerback is a position that attracts cocky characters. As diva-like as receivers can become, corners have to feel that they can react and neutralize anything the receiver can do. In Sherman's case, not only does he shut them down, he's also proficient at winning the mental battle with the opponent by getting in their head and ultimately under their skin. This reminds me of the greatest cover corner - and one of my favorite players - of all time: Deion "Primetime" Sanders. Sherman is the Deion Sanders remix but with a brash "thug-like" appearance but a prestigious academic background. Deion was hated early in his career for being too cocky, talking too much, and being too many theatrics to a sport that didn't value them. Does Sherman talk too much? Anyone could easily say 'yes' to that question. But better question: do you want him on your team, or on the opposing team working his way into your star receiver's head? I'll take him on my squad any day. I get how middle America feels about outwardly cocky young Black men; so much of the reaction doesn't surprise me. But as a young black man, I can look past him having dredlocks and being an animated shit talker. He's a beloved teammate, he's very intelligent (3.7 GPA and a Master's degree from Stanford), and he's already at the top of his position in the NFL at just 25 years old. Not to mention, he goes back to Compton to work with kids to help them make it out and beat the odds the way he did. So to call him a thug is to dismiss all he had to overcome to make it, and for that reason it's disrespectful; especially coming from cashiers in middle America who didn't face or overcome odds the way a kid in Compton did. But love him or hate him, you're talking about him. Love him or hate him, in the end, all thug accusations fall by the wayside as there's no logical proof. Love him or hate him, his meager $500K salary (pennies by NFL standards, especially when the 2nd best corner is making $14 million this year) is now being tremendously boosted by endorsements borne of his newfound attention. And now he's got a Super Bowl ring too. Long live Richard Sherman...

Stop Me When I Stop Lying: Catching Up

Every once in a while, my life gets complicated and I get slack posting on events in real time when they happen the way I should. I'm not apologizing, just explaining. If u were expecting an apology, get over it, you still reading this, ain't u? But I digress, here's a quick rap up of how I feel about some of those issues:

• Kanye, Kanye, Kanye. SMH. I still deeply respect his music, creativity, entrepreneurship, and his boldness (only to a point though). In terms of his personality, I've lately decided that he's not just another cocky celebrity, he's become an all-out blasphemous, attention whore for whom I'm losing the ability to take serious. You're Yeezus and bring Jesus out on stage? You're a God? Really? You've decided that since you made a song called "New Slaves", you can re-purpose the Confederate flag as your own? Really? You're offended that Vogue has chosen Michelle Obama for their cover over your wifey who was shot to stardom by a sextape with Ray J?  Really? You felt that North West was the best name for your daughter? If they make Versace straight jackets, that may be a good fashion move for you; add a confederate flag pin if it makes you feel better. I loved you: your passion, your story, and everything. What happened to you? 
• I've decided that Drake is the in the category of ppl who I admit are good at what they do but whose personalities I can not stand. Just cuz u roll with street cats now doesn't mean u're hard? "Started from the Bottom" fa real? Weren't you a child actor from a middle class fam? "No New Friends", really? Name 2 famous rapper you were friends with in 2007? I guess "Started from the Middle" and "Some New Friends" didn't sound as appealing. And quit starting fights in clubs if you're gonna hide behind Meek Mills when hands start flying. That's why they call your album emotional...
• Although I give her credit for somehow being the catalyst that put twerking back in the spotlight, I can not call what Miley Cyrus does twerking because she has no lower half meat (ass, thighs, hamstrings, etc.) to shake. Eat some steak, do some squats, and holla at me. I'm waiting for reports of footage of Miley either taking or sucking some Black dick; I'd bet money, it's coming. She's already pseudo-twerking, making naked music videos, and doing drugs with rappers, it's the natural next step. Stay tuned...
• Ladies, I'll say this once and keep it brief: Olivia Pope is a well written character on an entertaining show, not a role model. Treat her that way. Don't think YOU can operate without morality or integrity in your personal and professional life and turn out wildly successful and immaculately dressed like her. From the reactions I get from women when I make a "Scandal" comment, you would think I punched a nun in the face or something by not idolizing her too. Chill with that.
• Fuck the Falcons (division rival). Fuck UGA (in-state college rival). I'm glad both of their seasons have been disappointing. Period.
• And yes, finally, the Miami Dolphins "bullying" scandal. More information will inevitably come out on both sides continuing to thicken the plot. But my main point about it is this: In a work environment like the NFL, stand up for yourself. I'm not saying you have the right to hit someone in the face if they piss you off, but walking out on your team is not a good answer. In a league full of hazing and verbal abuse (for lack of a better word) I think Richie Incognito went overboard with each and I don't feel sorry for him getting punished. I don't know how far he overstepped I don't know how much is normal in the locker room. Who's responsibility is it to put your foot down and let him know where the line is? Martin's. Grab Richie and the offensive line coach and have that "Come to Jesus meeting" behind closed doors; get it out and understood. They'll respect you for that. But just walking out on the rest of the team makes it look like you're not mentally tough enough for the uniquely mentally and physically demanding work environment you've chose. Go work for Wells Fargo if you can't handle it. Please believe, the opposition is gonna say plenty to get in your head on the field for the rest of your NFL career. I hope you don't try to sue them too...

More coming soon. Just cuz my shit talking was tardy didn't mean it wasn't coming. Stop Me When I Start Lying...

Stop Me When I Start Lying: Riley and Miley: He Says Nigger While She Can't Stop Twerkin'

That's right motherfucker, I'm talking about Riley (Cooper) and Miley (Cyrus) in the same article. In the past decades, hip-hop culture and pop culture have converged. Many white people who grew up in all white environments - these two included - had a choice whether to embrace, ignore, respectfully abstain, or resent the overwhelming subculture the Black community created. These two are case studies in different options. For those who don't know, Riley Cooper (from Oklahoma City, OK and then Clearwater, FL) is a backup wide receiver for the Philadelphia Eagles. At a country music concert at the stadium Cooper was denied backstage access by a Black security guard and was caught on camera saying "I'll fight every nigger in here." Let's break this down: 1) Why the fuck should Riley Cooper have backstage access without proper passes? He's an Eagle, but he ain't no damn star; this wasn't Michael Vick. The guard probably had no fucking idea who he was or why he thought he was so important. He might as well have let my ass back stage, I'm as readily recognizable as Riley Cooper. The guard was just doing his job. 2) I guess since it was a country concert (one of few nigger-free functions in Philly), Riley thought he could let his hair down and unleash the inner racist he's forced to hold inside at work with no repercussions...in 2013? Yo dumb ass, cameras are everywhere, even though your a backup. 3) Before anyone starts the "he can say it since you Black say it" conversation, let me explain my take on that. If he was caught reciting rap lyrics, using it as a term of endearment among his Black friends, or anything else that I could call "a product of coming up in Black culture", it wouldn't necessarily be acceptable but it would be somewhat understandable. But he used it in the pissed slave master sense; like "how dare you nigger disobey me and stop me from doing what I want to? I'll whip you and every other nigger in here." He's gonna have a hard time trying to get anyone to believe that he's never used that word before and he has no hard feelings towards Black people. My conclusion: He was never fully comfortable with/accepting of Black people or the subculture we spawned. He's learned to co-exist with Black people but always had some feelings of disdain/resentment towards them inside which he let slip out. He's supremely fucked up. He's an expendable player in a 70% Black sport in one of the biggest, Blackest cities in America for a team that needs success without distractions. You've lost the trust of your teammates (and many of the notoriously harsh Philly fans) and now depend on their professionalism to co-exist and perform well with you. The fact that his coach, his owner, and even the league's commissioner didn't take a stand on the issue at all is bullshit in its own right, but that's a story for another day. He better keep his head down and ball out or he might be the most athletic worker in a Sam's Club stock room this time next year.

On the other hand, you have Hannah Montana herself. Cyrus, who grew up on a 500 acre farm in Tennessee before making it to Hollywood as a Disney child star, has hit the age where she's rebelliously finding her identity as a grown up rock star. Like many child stars, she has found the "bad boy/girl" temptation-filled lifestyle appealing now than the heavy parent-protected life of innocence and wholesomeness that they came up in. What's interesting is some of the hobbies and friends she's picked up along the way. In addition to the rock star hair, the provocative clothes, and the overall newfound edginess, she has become infatuated with a product of early-2000's club style hip-hop: Twerking. That's right, the dance style born in Africa, refined by the modern stripper/video chick, and popularized by a hip-hop culture that is enamored with watching and feeling (with their pelvic region) the different ways women can shake the meat on the lower half of their bodies. She was probably behind stage on the set of "Hannah Montana" watching Ying Yang Twins and Two Short videos when her parents weren't looking. Now that her country singer dad isn't lording over her and her weight has made it into the triple digits (hopefully) she thinks she has enough meat to take part in it herself. For the record, I've seen the videos, she may be American's most popular twerker right now, but she lacks the meat in her ass/thigh/hamstring area to be an All-Star at the craft; she gets points for her effort though. Hell, she got sarcastically shouted out by Jay-Z about and that fucker's in his 40s. She's popped up on stage at a Juicy J concert to show off her new 'skill' and probably searches for rappers to party with instead of her former Disney contemporaries and some less twerk-friendly music. My conclusion: Like much of young white America, she wants to be not only Black, but borderline hood because she thinks its cool. But she's overdoing it, you can't go from Taylor Swift to Rihanna overnight. Although she clearly accepts and enjoys hip hop culture, but as Jay-Z has said a good little Disney white girl turned bad (and/or ratchet) in the spotlight is among America's worst nightmares. Although it's not what I want when I talk about a truly diverse and accepting country, Miley entertains me. Hell, I can't imagine how middle America is gonna panic when some Black entertainer or athlete starts stretching her pussy out. Call me vile for the last sentence if you want, but Stop Me When I Start Lying...

Real Talk: Two Substance-less Arguments

I argue quite a lot, about a lot of different things. It's not because I'm just randomly argumentative or get off on being right. Many times it's to get a reaction from others or sometimes just to add humor to a boring situation. But even moreso,  I like seeing how people defend their arguments. I can admire a worthy opponent for providing valuable insight or perspective even if we disagree vehemently. You're not going to agree with everyone; you might as well gain something from the argument. But in the last few years, there have been two major arguments that continue to arise which have virtually no substance beyond the superficial. One of them is sports-related (by in large inconsequential) and the other is a much large human civil issue. The first is the "I hate LeBron, I'll never respect him after "The Decision", he's everything that is wrong with modern sports. The other is "I'm so disgusted by the idea of gay marriage, they're such sinners. I could never support that." Yep, I'm going there. But let's start with LeBron. Get over "The Decision" and the pep rally already. It was a "look at me" move - a "look at me" move that raised over $2 million for the Boys & Girls Club), but a "look at me" move nonetheless - and I understand how anyone from Ohio is heartbroken that he left and furious that he announced it on National TV. Everyone else, shut up. But why is noone mad at Dan Gilbert, the Cavaliers owner, who didn't put talent around him (Mo Williams, the 2nd best player on that team, became the 3rd string point guard for the Clippers the year after LeBron left)? Why isn't anyone mad at the other players in that locker room who hid from him the fact that one of his teammates was sleeping with his mom? I wouldn't trust teammates hiding shit like that from me.Why wasn't anyone mad like that when other all-time great players left small market teams to win in larger markets (Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem, Shaq, etc.)? You mad about what he said at a pep rally? Any high school football team makes outlandish promises at pep rallies. The point of pep rallies is to hype up the crowd, period. Professional athletes (all eras, all sports, men and women) are a bit vain. After all, ever since Bird & Magic brought the NBA back into the national spotlight, players (especially superstars) are praised by those who live through their successes vicariously. Many of the greatest players ever have personality traits much worse than LeBron's - Jordan's bullying competitiveness and gambling issues, Oscar Robertson's condescending obsessiveness, Wilt's selfishness, widespread infidelity across sports, etc. None of that matters to fans then, why does it now? There are professional athletes getting in trouble for drugs, guns, murder, rape, steroids, etc, where's all the anger then? If you don't like him, say you don't like him. He's the best player in the world and has dis-proven everything people said he couldn't do (win, hit jump shots, hit game winners, make clutch plays, etc). If you're a hater, say that, stop acting like there's any substance to your argument. Next, the homosexuality issue. Crazy enough, I'm going to keep this one shorter than the sports issue. Christianity is being used as a reason to oppose gay marriage beyond judgment. But look back, Christianity was formerly used to oppose interracial marriage, marriage across religions,etc. It was used to support slavery, segregation, the ugly process of colonization, and more. The KKK modeled their hoods after those once worn by European priests. The Bible was written in an age when marriages were widely arranged (between teenagers largely), hormones and mental makeup was not understood, there was no thought of equality or fairness towards women or many ethnicities. With caring for your fellow child of God being a key principle of the religion, the Bible was written in a time period which differed from that mightily. Although it recorded the actions and words of God, the Bible was written by men, each with their own flaws, prejudices, and biases. Religion is not flawed because of any flaws with God; religion is flawed because man is flawed, period. Homosexuality is sin...so is pre-marital sex, telling lies, etc. Why is homosexual monogamy seen as so much more sinful than a heterosexual casual sex and the lying that's often involved? I don't believe people are gay by choice, I believe they're gay by hormonal makeup. We now live in an age where marriages aren't arranged, you can marry who you're attracted to and compatible with. So naturally, if those who are gay don't have to deal with the burden of their families telling them who they're going to marry at age 13 during puberty, they have the choice to choose for themselves. If you're attracted to the same sex, you will probably figure that out soon after puberty and pursue that sex. Would you rather they fake it, leaving them unfulfilled and possibly cheating to satisfy their desires outside of the relationship? Deciding to be unhappily married to someone you're not attracted to may make for more comfortable family pictures to send your parents, but leads to much bigger problems. Heterosexual marriages have about a 50% success rate, do you honestly believe heterosexual marriage will do worse? And here's the big one, the question to end all questions before I end this entry. Let's say you're a preacher standing on the doorstep of your church as people walk up to your door, what is less Christian: A) the fact that that two God-fearing women approaching are in love and married? or B) you shunning away a couple trying to get closer to the Lord because you don't like the fact that they're happily married? Real talk.

The Joys of Private School Coaching

For a little over a month now, I've been volunteer coaching at a local Christian Private school as a track coach. A family friend has kids who compete on the team and told me that they lacked someone who could adequately coach the long jump and triple jump; the events that I made my track career on. I was a top-5 jumper nationally in high school, went to Georgia Tech on a full track scholarship, and became an all-ACC and national recognized jumper in college. Now that I'm no longer competing and have settled into a professional life, the least I can do is give back. One thing I underestimated is the culture shock of heading to a small, private school. Being the product of a public school in a fair-sized city (I'm from Charlotte, NC which is bigger than most people believe), I'm used to a certain level of talent, coordination, and athleticism. it's a little different at a small private school. But to an extent, I like the change. I'm an optimist and working with these kids who can not simply rely on their natural talent, they're very inclined to listen and try as hard as they can. That's the most you can every ask for as a coach. I'll take a less talented athlete who listens and works hard over a supremely talented athlete who doesn't listen or work hard any day. As easy as it is to let your competitiveness compel you and compare them to my former self, that would be futile. I'm trying to get them completely our of the habit of comparing to others and get them discovering what they can do and strive towards progress. None of these kids seem headed to be college athletes or win awards for their sports accomplishments. Nonetheless, individual sports like track are great for building self-esteem and work ethic because you get to directly see your hard work reap rewards through improvement in times and jumps. I'm still working on getting the full potential out. But I'm determined to unlock improvement and thus self-confidence in a relatively untalented and athletic but receptive group of jumpers. Stay tuned...

Do Better: Alex Collins' Mother

As big of a sports addict as I am, National Signing Day is one of the few sports-related things I just can't get into; along with hockey, regular season baseball, and pseudo-sports/skilled hobbies like NASCAR (I've had plenty of arguments about that one). However, I do recognize that for a 17-18 year old kid to have a nationally televised press conference revealing where he's decided to play his sport in college could turn out to be the highlight of his life. I was an all-ACC college athlete and I've seen so many athletes let laziness, attitude or drugs still their potential, have devastating injuries, get killed or end up in the legal system, have children and consequently have to kiss their dreams goodbye, or even just not fit into the system they entered. I say all that to say, there are a lot of #1 ranked high school prospects who never made the pros, never won college awards, etc. It's had to keep succeeding as you increase competition level. Combine that with the fact that choosing your college is one of the more important decisions in your life and National Signing Day is huge for a kid at that age. That's why I was so disappointed when I heard that Alex Collins' (#13 RB from Plantation, FL, a Miami suburb) National Letter of Intent never made it the fax machine (this is the only time its likely still used) at the University of Arkansas, because his mother came to his school and took and hid it because she disapproved of his decision. She and the family had been pressuring him for years to attend the University of Miami, less than 30 mins from home. He committed early there at one point, and later de-committed to explore more options. She likely assumed he was still going there, as she drove to his school to sign the letter (he's not yet 18 and needs a parental signature too). When she saw what school was on the letter, she snapped and left with the letter; he had to cancel his press conference and everything. Lady,  this isn't about you. I get that you don't wanna let your son go, it happens to a lot of parents. But it's not your choice to make. I mean damn, he picked as SEC school. He didn't opt to turn down Miami to sell dope, or to try to become a rapper; it was a legitimate alternative. My parents taught me that the difference between being a child and being an adult is the ability to make your own decisions and live with the consequences. For a kid in his shoes, this may be the first meaningful decision that was every truly his to make. He went on visits, he talked to coaches, he made his mind up. And now his mother has not only snatched his nationally televised TV moment, but also his confidence that he could make this decision for himself. How is he going to grow into a man if you won't let him pick the school HE will have to live at, study at, eat at, and play ball at for the next 3-4-5 years? As a man, much of what has given me the confidence to make and stand by my decisions is trial and error; I've made decisions that work, that don't work, and had to deal with the consequences even when they're ugly. It's part of life. My parents, regardless of their personal preferences, have sat me down, made sure that I've thought through my big decisions (which I always do before discussing it with them) and supported my decisions, even when it's something drastic they wouldn't do like going to live in Southeast Asia for 18 months. It's been essential to my liberation as a man. I'm 25 and out on my own, when I'm making a decision , the thought "Are my parents going to LET me do this?" doesn't cross my mind. She's crippling her son to this kind of thought process. Ma'am, let this moment, which was created by your son's talent and hard work, be about your son and not you. He has to start being a man at some point. Do Better baby...

A Last Dance for the Ages

That's the storybook ending to a legendary career. Despite the storm of controversy (PEDs, 2000 charges, etc), a mid-game power outage, and a difficult opponent hellbent on coming back, Ray Lewis goes out holding the Lombardy trophy with the confetti falling on him. Ed Reed, Terrell Suggs, Haloti Ngata, Ray Rice and the rest of the gang win their first championship on a team that's been elite for 5-6 years but could never get over the hump. Joe Flacco comes up big (possibly making himself a lot of money) in the biggest game and earns a Super Bowl MVP trophy. Although I feel bad for Randy Moss and I generally do like the 49ers, this was the Ravens' moment, this was the last moment of Ray's last ride. It was perfect for him...

Swag Must Die: Ill-Advised Ray Tribute

Yo, I'm excited that Ray's last ride is going to the Super Bowl too, but this man here is over doing it. No grown man should dedicating his appearance to another grown man at this level. Seriously, where the fuck do you work where you can show up like this with no problems? I wouldn't buy insurance from a mother fucker with bangs being used as a Raven's beak. Excuse me buddy, how much did you pay someone to fuck your head up in this manner? Sir, your swag must die...

Do Better: Really Manti Te'o?

I'm taking bets that this is the first star football player at Notre Dame, one of the most obsessed and successful football schools, who could not pick up tangible and certifiable women. Make me an offer, I'd bet almost anything that this is a first; I don't care that he wasn't a Heisman finalist yet when this happened, he was still a starting football player at Notre Dame. I was an athlete at Georgia Tech and the bench riding football players were dating beautiful women just because they had a uniform.  This has been on my mind for days now because it's the only way any of this story makes any sense. It's terrible that some guy and his female cousin set up and implemented a hoax posing at a leukemia-ridden woman (using the picture of one woman and the name of another) to fool a college athlete purely for entertainment. What makes matters even worse is they arranged for their created character to die of her leukemia right after the kid's grandmother (whose real, confirmed) died; it's borderline sickening that people stoop this low for no discernible reason. For him to be naive enough to not pick up on the fact that things were right and desperate enough to feel the need to embellish it, what other explanation is there? Like most guys who are embarrassed about their inability to get women in college (I had a roommate in college who I to this day think was lying to hide his homosexuality), Manti was lying on his dick about a girl he had never even met (or even see on Skype, Face Time, Oovoo, etc). That's why his teammates claim they knew something was fishy before this scam broke. "Stop lying Manti, she's not your girl. You didn't meet her." No Manti, apparently you didn't talk to her for 4 hours a night for 5 months; unless this is the most effective and dedicated con-woman in the history of mankind. She got that kind of time to devote to toying with you? Does she not have a job, kids, or her own life? Unless she's being paid handsomely by the man identified as the mastermind (who apparently ran a similar scam on someone 4 years ago), I have no idea why she continued to participate. I've heard the idea that maybe he was involved setting up the hoax to garner more attention for his Heisman campaign. However this doesn't make sense because 1) Notre Dame was not seen as a National Championship contender a year ago, they didn't even enter the season ranked. We had never heard of him, he wasn't on the Heisman radar and even wasn't after this happened; he got notoriety when Notre Dame started playing good. 2) That would be assuming he started a hoax in preparation of his grandmother dying so he could claim this fake chicks death compounded at the same time. I don't know Manti personally but his reputation is too good and I'm too optimistic to truly believe he'd stoop that low. I realize that certain questions won't be answered (you loved her but didn't attempt to go to her funeral? console her family?) but fuck it, I don't believe he did it. He's meeting with advisers about how to 'respond' to this confusing situation, but I don't think there's anything he can say were he doesn't end looking incredibly desperate or naive; Steve Urkel (the nerd, not his alter ego Stefan) is laughing at his inability to pull women. I have all the advice he needs: If you want to avoid this level of embarrassment ever befalling you again, get your game tight and start pursuing women in person, where they're tangible and confirmed...for him, make sure you're checking for Adam's Apples and nutsacks though. Do Better...

Real Talk: Lance, the dichotomy of a folk hero

This story is about much more than cycling, because Lance Armstrong is much more than a cyclist. Lance Armstrong became a folk hero; had this ugly chapter never taken place, he would've been the subject of Bob Dylan-style folk songs which would've lived forever. He's not famous because he won the Tour De France (who won this year? they still have the event). As a cancer survivor who rode his bike for hours in his hospital room after chemo treatments, he became the superhero who found pummeling the cycling competition easy compared to the epic battle that he won against cancer; that's why he was famous. His foundation Livestrong (whose band I'm still wearing and refuse to take off because of the effect the foundation has had) has raised over $500 MILLION for cancer research, saving an immeasurable amount of lives along the way. I heard Scott Van Pelt of ESPN say "the easiest story to sell is a story that people want to here." If the story ends there, it's a heroic story of epic proportions. You'd see this man in person and want to run up and kiss his feet. Problem is, he'd probably kick you in the face. By multiple accounts from many ppl who have met him or know him personally, he's a terrible person; egotistical, self-centered, merciless  manipulative, deceptive, calculated, and without shame. As the sport's reputation continued to fade due to so many big names being implicated in either PED use or blood doping, they started snitching (I don't fuck with snitches, if you're man enough to cheat, be man enough to shut up and accept when you're caught red handed) on Lance. Then, he told the lie we all wanted to hear; even if we knew it didn't make sense. So here we all were believing - well, more hoping - that in a sport full of dopers, the one guy who's clean is destroying all the dopers. Hell, they can't give away his stripped Tour De France titles, because all the guys who got 2nd and 3rd in those competitions were dirty too. Not only did he lie though (which honestly was understandable at that time), he vehemently and vociferously denied the charges, even going so far as to go on a internationally respected show like "Larry King Live" and used the "I beat a death sentence like cancer, why would I risk my health again?" narrative on TV; that was pretty low in hindsight. He then viciously and mercifully decided to ruin the lives (via lawsuits, defamation, alienation, etc.) of all his accusers and even everyone who disagreed with him; All while knowing they were telling the truth. The truth, or at least what he currently know of it is this: 1) Lance Armstrong admitted in an interview with Oprah Winfrey (a fairly safe person to confess to) to using PEDs and blood doping with what seemed like a very calculated, one-word answer laden, non-contrite interview. He brought his team of lawyers and crisis counselors with him so he didn't overly expose himself. 2) USADA stripped him of his 7 Tour De France titles after their investigation (including testimony from countless former teammates and competitors) led them to the conclusion that he ran "the most sophisticated doping program on the planet." 3) Even Livestrong, the organization that he founded/elevated, has cast him out due to the USADA actions. So which part of his story should last? This is why the dichotomy of influential human beings interests me. I've heard arguments he's still the best cyclist of all time, he was the best cheater (with the best back story) among a sport where every prominent performer was cheating; this is likely the dirtiest sport of them all. Regardless of the actions that lifted his foundation to prominence, the amount of good that Livestrong has done far outweighs the results of bike races. ESPN anchor Stuart Scott, who is fighting cancer, loves Lance for what Livestrong has done and I fully understand how him and anyone else who's dealt with cancer would feel that way. But at the same time, what we've now found - which was irrelevant to us before - is that he's a terrible person who ruined lives to sell the public on his lies. In baseball, those implicated with PEDs attempted to stay secluded hoping not to be subpoenaed long enough to slide into the Hall of Fame. They didn't go to Larry King's desk and use his show on a platform to put their acting lessons on display for their grand lie. It's easy to ask how he slept at night through all of this. I wish I could ask him, but I doubt I'd get a straight answer. This is a very convoluted study in the dichotomy of a man whose good deeds and fatal flaws provoke a twisted polarity. It's on each of us to decide what we believe he should truly be remembered for. Real Talk...

Ray Lewis: The end of an unprecedented reign of MLB

First and foremost, isn't that an ill picture of Ray Lewis? The intensity, the muscles, the grass in his hand, the pyrotechnics in the background. It looks like introduction of the heavyweight champion in the glory days of the WWF (before this WWE business). In a way, that's precisely what it is. Ray Lewis IS Middle Linebacker, no. Ray Lewis IS defense, no. Ray Lewis IS football. He's the immovable object waiting for you. He's that big bad motherfucker who you spent all week preparing for nothing because he's still bringing you the pain all day Sunday. He's brought intensity, athleticism, instinct, and intimidation to the highest level of defensive play for 17 years. SEVENTEEN FUCKING YEARS!! That's like an oximoron when you're talking about Middle Linebacker. Along with running back, it's one of those positions that features so much hitting and punishment that a decade is plenty to call a good career at the position. Ray's played twice as long as Dick Butkus, 50% longer than Mike Singletary, Jack Lambert and so many more of the greats. All this while playing at an elite level (no offense, London Fletcher) in an age featuring the biggest, fastest, strongest, and most skilled players we've ever seen; Ray Nitschke and Chuck Bednarik would need some HGH to bang with these boys. Many of his predecessors even admit that (find a recent "Greatest Linebacker of All Time" list he's not on top of). He epitomizes being the heart and soul of a franchise. He's been the driving force of a Ravens defense that's been historically dominant since it won a SuperBowl back before the arrival of all-Worlds Terrell Suggs and Ed Reed (Tony Siragusa, anyone?). He was SuperBowl MVP despite the slander of his name after getting in potentially disastrous trouble soon before. That trouble now seems like a lifetime ago as he's been a model leader, teammate, and off-field humanitarian ever since. Who doesn't wanna play on a team with Ray Lewis? The only reason he doesn't have a fist full of rings is the team's perpetual unsuccessful search for a true franchise QB; he got Trent Dilfer a Super Bowl ring as a parting gift before he got cut that offseason for his subpar play. He's the Shaq of my generation's football fandom; no disrespect to Wilt Chamberlain (or in this case Nitschke, Bednarik, Butkus, even LT) but like Shaq in his prime, Ray Lewis is the most dominant force I've set eyes in this position. I guess I knew he had to retire some day - even if I was denying it to myself - and honestly I'm thankful that he told us up front that it would be at the end of this year. It was appropriate that his last game at home, Sunday's shellacking of the Colts (poor Andrew Luck, no worries you have time), began and ended with Ray's signature dance, filled with stellar defense play in the middle. Even if it ends as soon as next week in Denver (don't get me started on Peyton's greatness), I'm thankful I was able to witness such an illustrious run from the best to ever do it at MLB. I'll defend my position calling him the G.O.A.T. to anybody, anytime. He made me root for the Ravens when my teams weren't involved. Hell, he had me watching linebacker play when it was so easy to just be focused on offense. I doubt I'll ever lay eyes on another Ray Lewis in my generation. See you in Canton in five years #52.

Do Better: Rex Ryan's bromance tattoo

Do not adjust your computer monitor, you are seeing this correctly; click it for an enlarged view if you feel the need. That is a tattoo of a woman wearing a #6 Mark Sanchez Jets jersey on Rex Ryan's shoulder. Ryan, head coach of the New York Jets, is lucky to still have his job with the Jets. Despite the fact that he's a good defensive coach, his personality and bluster have allowed the team to become a circus. Among his many ill-advised quotes and actions, one of the biggest reasons is his handling of the team's QB situation. He's hitched his future to the sinking ship that is Mark Sanchez (who hasn't seemed to develop, or possibly even regressed in his 4 years). This situation was exacerbated when they decided to get the most high profile, polarizingly divisive, mania-creating backup QB imaginable despite Sanchez's lack of confidence and subpar play; that would be Tim Tebow. Yet Ryan's been fiercely loyal to Sanchez to a fault; at some point, Tebow or McIlroy should have been allowed more opportunity while they were still playing meaningful football. Now as both he and Sanchez are on the chopping block, it surfaces that he has a tattoo of a woman (possibly his wife, who has her own crazy antics. Google "Michelle Ryan foot fetish" or look her up on MediaTakeOut if you don't believe me) wearing a Mark Sanchez jersey. Stop with the bromance and if you're lucky enough to retain your job, do whatever gives your team the best chance to win; even if it means parting with or benching the QB with whom your bromance warranted a tattoo. Rex, for the sake of your team, Do Better...

Do Better: Cornball Rob Parker

Attention Rob Parker (pictured with headset), u're not only embarrassing urself, u're embarrassing Black men everywhere. Rob Parker, a personality on ESPN who frequently the show "First Take" hosted by Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith, has been suspended 30 days because last week he made comments stating that Redskins rookie QB Robert Griffin III (pictured in uniform) isn't Black enough to be considered a "real brother". He instead called him a "Cornball Brother." That's right, Black on Black racism. This is not a topic that should be discussed on National TV...even if he's somewhat right. Look, if this topic comes up in a bar or in someone's living room while we're watching a game, I would have participated because there is a lot to discuss. RG3 in terms of appearance was the Blackest QB we've ever seen. We know that in America if you're to have a Black man as the face of your government, company, team, an award winner, or anything else, he typically needs a universal appeal: handsome, fairly clean cut, and light to brown skinned. RG3 is (pardon my judgement on the man) ugly, has long hanging plait braids (not even Larry Fitzerald style clean cut dreds), and is as dark as the night is long; This ain't Obama or Cam Newton we're talking about. Then he was drafted by "Chocolate City" Washington DC where he looks more like Wale than anyone else...but he's not that kind of dude. Despite being from Louisiana and Texas, it's widely believed that he typically is surrounded by white people. It's reported that he's more politically aligned with the Republicans. He's engaged to a cute but somewhat plain White girl (pictured with Griffin). I could only imagine the looks that he may get walking around with her in DC; hell, he might pass up Adams Morgan, U Street, and more typically Black areas (that Michael Vick or my hometown QB Cam Newton would go if they lived in DC) and instead take her out in Georgetown or something. I say all of this to say that even if I knew him, he might not fit in at my cookouts. He might not roll to the spots we would go to or listen to the music we would. That's relevant socially...but not athletically. So why the hell is this being discussed on  ESPN? I'm not naive enough to believe that people's social lives and professional lives are completely disconnected. But I don't feel like you should report on something on ESPN if it's not directly connected. Is it truly my business that Torrey Smith's brother got killed? Actually, not really. But it was reported because it affects whether he will play and possibly the quality to which he played the game a day or two after his brother's death. I'm a LeBron James fan, I criticize him harshly for two moments of his career; Game 5 of the 2010 series against Boston and his disappearance in the 2011 NBA Finals. That game 5 terrible performance happened the day he found out his teammate Delonte West  had slept with his mom. It's not my business, but I do see how that may affect your performance that night. My mind may have been more on breaking the jaw of this Mother fucker (literally) than being the best basketball player in the world. The fact that RG3 might not fit in at my cookout does not affect my respect level for Robert as a quarterback. Honestly, I don't know if Rob Parker would fit in at my cookout; I don't know him, but he strikes me as a bit corny himself. That's another reason this seemed odd coming from him. As much as he's criticized for his level of animation and occasionally controversy, I'm a big Stephen A. Smith fan because I think we could share some beer and have immensely entertaining conversations about sports or anything else. The same could be said for many sports writers, but not I'm not sure Parker makes that list. Skip Bayless, Smith, and may others say controversial things and express really strong opinions often approaching the line of what's "over the top"; it starts conversations. It gets people watching "First Take" to see what perspective they're gonna take on a hot issue, whether you agree with them or think they're ridiculous. That controversy is fine when discussing sports...not gauging someone's Blackness. So all in all, we live in a society where Blacks have come a long way and are excelling in many facets (politics, sports, music, cinema, etc) at unprecedented levels. Is this really what white people need to see us doing on National TV? Trying to turn us against each other on the basis of someone not being Black enough to be supported by the Black community? Do Better...

Real Talk: Recent NFL tragedies

For a second straight Sunday, the National Football League has to hold games on the heels of reporting player-caused fatality. Last Sunday, 25 year old Kansas City linebacker Jovan Belcher (pictured above) shot his girlfriend eight times at their home before killing himself in front of his coach, general manager, and other team officials at their practice facility. This week, Cowboys nose tackle Josh Brent was driving under the influence and flipped his vehicle killing the passenger, his teammate Jerry Brown. I heard a quote today which I believe to be an apt description of the circumstances. Former NFL player and present commentator Tom Jackson said that despite popular belief, "The NFL is a microcosm of society." It's easy to view NFL players like their digital replicas on the Madden video games as nothing more than football playing images on your screen with no other purpose or attentions in life than playing up to the expectations of the fans. Ignoring the fact that we are all actually people (and therefore flawed) makes is easy to demonize and criticize them for on field play and ignore the fact that the complexities of life still affect these men off of the gridiron. People have off days, people have days of fatigue of aloofness, personal stresses or emotions can affect professional performance at times, pride often stops people from seeking help they may require. As quiet as it's kept, most teams have personal counselors available for any players who needs them. By all accounts from Chiefs players, Belcher was a model citizen in the locker room and an hard working, devoted teammate. If the rumors about the cause of the murder-suicide events are true, his girlfriend was late coming back from a Trey Songz concert and he became jealous enough to murder her. I can't believe that this level of rage emerged from this incident alone; although it is possible frighteningly enough. By reports, Belcher and his girlfriend were provided counseling by the Chiefs about their "financial and relationship problems." Is it feasible to believe that had they contacted the counselor earlier or been more honest at counseling about their issues that this may not have happened? I think it's possible. But instead this tragedy took place despite the fact that they actually made the hard step to begin counseling. Now because of this murder suicide, a young girl will never know her parents and whoever raises her will have a terrible story about them whenever she becomes old enough to ask. The NFL itself has a comprehensive substance abuse program available for any players willing to use it. Is it possible to believe that if Brent's ego allowed him to join the program, or use the NFL taxi service (yeah, the NFL has created a hotline for this very purpose), or bring a friend as a designated driver, his teammate would be alive and he wouldn't be in custody for intoxication manslaughter? It's a reasonable conclusion. But as with addiction and many other personal problems, it's difficult to admit that you have a problem which could cause death of someone close to you; often to a fault. This is especially true with alcohol, which is legal and often not considered an addictive drug. People use alcohol so casually that it becomes hard to determine what is truly a state of addiction and even how inebriated you are in relation to whether you are able to drive or not. I've wondered about that one and been more conscious of it myself as I've gotten older. Groupon had a personal breatalyzer on sale for cheap and I bought it just so I could examine that myself at home because if you're not 'out of control, world spinning, I can barely stand up' drunk, it can become hard to know exactly where you stand. Sounds crazy, but I did. It's worth the $20 to me to know how I feel at that point and avoid the possible DUI or tragedy which can follow. As a people, we have to be more conscious and deliberate handling our problems before they become the causes of tragedy. Hindsight is 20/20, but when your hindsight exposes you to the realities that your actions could have saved life, hindsight can also be very painful. I wouldn't ever want to have to live with that burden. Real talk...