Do Better: Alcoholic Traits

I drink fairly often, I enjoy drinking. I have a high tolerance; I can function after quite a few drinks. Despite starting as a liquor man, I've even acquired the taste for beer. But despite ppl calling me such, there are certain things that keep me from bein an alcoholic. I've never had problems with getting sick and people having to take care of me; much less making it a habit. I only drink socially, I don't sit there and drink alone. I drink mainly on weekends only. Drinking is not my way of coping with any and every form of stress. And I don't carry stuff like this...











































That's right, a baseball cap bottle opener, a refridgerator magnet bottle opener and a SANDAL bottle opener. Yea, u can be walkin around on the beach, grab a beer from a store and take off your sweaty, smelly, sandy ass toe-thong sandal and use the sole of it to open your drink. What a thought. Or upon walking in your kitchen, people will immediately know that you're a serious drinker becuz u have a bottle opener displayed on the outside of ur fridge door. Or u can even take off ur hat and use it to open ur beer. Shameful. Although I will admit that I learned how to open bottles on sharp counter corners, I believe that spending money deliberately on something normal that has been altered to allow for beer opening is a tell-tell sign of true alcoholism and I'd guess usually happens hand-in-hand with the traits I outlined earlier. So take the advice of an avid drinker, don't be an alchy to the point where it truly affects your life. And even if you do, don't buy things that identify you as an alchy on sight. Do Better...