Real Talk: Putting Life in Perspective

Yesterday, for a little while, I honestly thought I was having a heart attack. My entire chest cavity tightened up to the point where I was in intense pain to move and couldn't really take a deep breath. I spent a lot of the day in the health center getting EKGs, chest X-rays, and other tests to try to figure out what is going on. I know know that even though something may be irregular, my life is not in any imminent danger; however, it contributes to my on-going habit of putting life in perspective. Lately, I've been stressed over a few different things: school work with this massive senior project, my on-going hamstring injury issues, automotive issues, sorting out all of these graduation preparations, figuring out where exactly I am going overseas in the fall, figuring out what I am doing all summer before I go overseas, etc. As I laid on my back on the EKG table with about 10 adhesive pads stuck to my chest, arms, and ankles(yep, ankles), I started thinking deeply - which I often do - and put things in perspective. I said to myself "Look at the things I'm so worried about, am I that selfish to be stressing that much about this stuff?" This senior project is the most massive single project I've ever had to do, it is cutting into both my sleep and my social life. But how many people from my little all-Black high school didn't even make it to college to get this opportunity. It's very heart-breaking that my once fairly successful and promising track career has been derailed due to a string of related and lingering hamstring issues. Jumping bad in front of so many people I know at ACCs was one of the most embarrassing track moments I can remember. But I used a little bit of talent to become an All-ACC athlete and got my education at one of the nation's best schools paid for through track. Plus this injury isn't one that will negatively affect my quality of life going into the future like so many football or basketball injuries, so Ima be fine. My car is acting stupid every time it gets a chance to and these issues costs money to fix. But much of the world doesn't have a car at their disposal to get wherever they want to go, and they don't complain about that. And yeah I need to definitely figure out where I'm going overseas to do my international internship. But how many people will ever get a chance to take advantage of an opportunity like that? I got plenty of friends who rarely leave their hometown cuz they're so scared to get out of their comfort zones. Getting an international experience is a blessing. And last but not least, yeah getting these hotel reservations together, designing, printing, and distributing graduation invitations, and trying to figure out post-graduation meal reservations is a little tedious. But how many people do I know at my school and otherwise who made it to college but never made it to this point? I've seen so many fall by the way-side. Less than 30% of Americans, less than 20% of African-Americans, and about 1% of the world has graduated from college, so I'm doing ight. I got friends that have been killed, are serving long (life long in one came) prison bids, have flushed their lives down the toilet and a multitude of other things. To quote an MC that I love, Phonte from Little Brother, "I could be mad about a whole lotta shit, but at the end of the day, I'm still here" and despite all obstacles and headaches, I have a chance to do big things. I don't plan on letting that go to waste. Gotta make lemonade out of all these lemons and keep pressing on. Real Talk...