Stop Me When I Start Lying: Blessed Celeb Leaks

I know all of the ethical and legal issues surrounding hacking people's phones to obtain their pictures. But I was not sad to see the beautiful naked forms of Meagan Goode, Gabrielle Union, Jennifer Lawrence (pictured above), Scarlett Johannsen, Kate Upton, Rihanna, Kim Khardashian (even though those last two were already no strangers to nudity) and others. The "Fappening" has been an interesting pop culture occurrence. If caught, they will have to face John E. Law for their hacking. But until then, I'm nominating you (whoever you are) for sainthood. Salute. You've made the Internet a more interesting place. Stop Me When I Start Lying...

Do Better: Ray J's Salty Ex Anthem

Brandy's little brother was never a favorite of mine to begin with. I don't know why this munchkin motherfucker is even  famous. He never struck me as an above average artist and God knows he can't act. Yet and still he ended up on TV shows and always proceeded to stink those shits up royalty. I hate his guts and didn't have solid reason why outside of being another relatively talentless famous person who finds a way to make paychecks. But his recent antics, they are more than just cause. He is now in the position so many bitter men have been in where your ex or old fling is now a 'somebody' and has moved on to bigger and better things than you. Kim Khardashian, a relatively talentless beneficiary of the reality TV age herself, was just a pretty face in the Hollywood social crowd until her sex tape with Ray J when viral. Since then, she's become a model, actress (I didn't say a good one), businesswoman, mult-millionaire. She's since dated an NFL player women fight over, was briefly (very) married to an NBA player, and is now with Kanye West, a transcendent music superstar. Who's Ray J dating? Who knows? Better yet, who cares? So what does Ray J's salty ass do? He tries to grab headlines and undermine her current relationship by making a song called "I Hit It First" playing the only card he has in this issue. That's some real weak shit. That's really the only thing that can get you into headlines in 2013? Stop It. News flash: Somebody took Beyonce's virginity...whoever he is, she wouldn't look twice at him now. Security would probably get called on this nigga trying to get within 10 feet of her. Jay's got her as a worldwide icon and entrepreneur  they're among the most powerful couples in the world. Which guy is winning? Same could be said with someone like Gabrielle Union. U think the guy who took her virginity comforts himself by thinking he's better than D-Wade because he got to Gabby first? I hope not; otherwise he's weak as shit too. Would he stand a chance trying to get her back today? Absolutely not. Ray J, let it go. I'm not even a Kim K fan but she's outgrown you and moved onto bigger and better things. Live with it. I'm sure there are still amateur models willing to sleep with you hoping you'll springboard them into the environment to meet some real celebrities (like them women from "For the Love of Ray J" who came on the show pursuing their own celebrity). Keep your mouth shut and move forward, Kanye can squash what little career you have. Do Better...

Do Better: Hoeing Your Way to the Top, WARNING: Graphic

I know it’s 2011 and the definition of “celebrity” has changed, but some of this stuff is getting ridiculous. Celebrities and persons of power have always been promiscuous, men and women. And to a certain degree, there have always been women who slept with certain hand-picked men in order to get a chance to get their talent discovered (For example, J-Lo allegedly slept with the right producer and it helped her go from “In Living Color” fly-girl to getting a chance to be a solo artist and actress, the rest is history. Some female singers have emerged with very little actual talent for much the same reasoning) and even though it’s still conflicted morally, I won’t talk too bad about that situation either. But some of these chicks nowadays are trying to become world-famous groupies. Groupies used to just be the chicks that found the hotel the artists were staying at, or got let into the VIP section or tour bus and got to touch stardom for a night, or a leg of a tour at most. Nowadays, chicks like Natalie Nunn, Katt Stacks, and Amber Rose are trying fuck their way to fame. I blame Karrine “Superhead” Stefans (pictured with her favorite make-up) for starting this revolution. She was sucking her way to wealth and when the money got a little low, she wrote a book publicizing her fellacious endeavors and the benefits she gained from her talents. It may have been the first time someone publicly shed light on just how much dudes with money will throw at a chick to be a cute asset to the crew and keep him sexually satisfied for a time period of his choosing. Amber Rose went from stripper to semi-respected celeb girlfriend when she got with Kanye. But since that dissolved (and it surfaced that she was cheating on him the entire time) she has been bouncing from person to person; Wiz Khalifah to Drake to who knows who else. And Natalie Nunn? Oh my goodness. The chick clearly is trying to build self-esteem through the gratification of being beside [enter famous person’s name] in front of the camera right after she wipes his cum off her face and they get out of the car. Her body is banging but she ain’t that cute and has a massive Jay Leno-esque chin. She one of those chicks that would come around a celeb with shades on and after a half bottle of liquor, he’d start staring at her ass and say “yeah, I might have to smash.” This chick has been with everyone from Wiz Khalifah (pictured above with both mentioned groupies) dude is really taking advantage of his short time in the spotlight so far) to Breezy to Shaq to Vernon Davis to even D-list rappers and athletes. Even with no hope/desire of becoming serious with any of these people. And the absolute worst of the worst, Katt Stacks. I shake my head just thinking about her. She tried to mimic Superhead by taking videos in the immediate aftermath of each sexual endeavor and posting them online. Two big problems arose for the chick: The majority of the people she was sleeping with and putting business out on were C- or D- list celebs (Choppa Young City, Gudda Gudda, etc), and most importantly, it’s hard to gain the right kind of respect for your videos if you just plain out can’t talk. This chick sounds retarded when she speaks. If I was a celeb and she was in the VIP with me, it would probably be like “Ay look, I’ll give you $500 if you suck my dick with lots of spit, swallow my seed, and don’t say another fucking word the rest of the night.” And this chick was trying to embarrass celebrities in a way that embarrassed her more than anyone else. She’d get on video and be like “This nigga just met me and he and his friends fucked me raw, and two of them busted inside me. Nasty niggas.” In my mind “Bitch u nastier for letting them do it. The celeb is a D-lister and he homies r just entourage. If they get u pregnant or give u an STD, u probably not even gonna be able to get no real money out of them.” Even in the midst of reality TV’s takeover, terrible quality 3D movies, and everything else, Katt Stacks may be the worse things that happened to popular culture…scratch that, the Black and minority community since the Reagan presidency and the AIDS and cocaine that his tenure delivered. SMH. Do Better...