Friday, February 3, 2012

Swag Must Die: NBA Shameful Fashion

I realize that ego helps world class athletes become successful, I realize that such ego can manifest itself into swagger, and furthermore that swagger makes someone want to be the center of attention. But I don't get how that became "I got money, I can buy whatever and I'm still gonna be the man when I wear it." The confidence becomes unbridled eccentricity and becomes the things that u see below. This probably happens across the major sports, but for today i will focus on the NBA players and commentators. Take a look at this buffoonery:

Kobe, Kobe, Kobe. U want me to seriously consider u being the best player or Laker in history? Beyond the fact that I don't like u as a person, this is not helping get more respect from ANYONE. Even as bad as MJ and Magic can dress, I've never seen them wearing blouses.
Which one is Shaq and which one is Grimace? lol. As if it's not bad enough to pay whatever it costs to make a purple suit for a 7'2" 350 lb man, he had the audacity to pay extra make it a three piece suit. He probably paid a pretty penny to get some custom size 24 purple and silver gators or something too. Congrats u have the tools to be Grimace or Barney any Halloween u'd like.
Wow, Sam Perkins has a box in the front and dreds in the back but ppl didn't even notice cuz MJ's cum stained jeans r stealing all the attention...in all the wrong ways. LOL. Even if u were gonna by that (Already borderline offensive), ur gonna wear it with an outfit that demands either slacks or neat pressed jeans? G.O.A.T. or not, between this and the Hitler mustache (we won't even criticize executive decision making), it's not a good look MJ.
This nigga here, he don't even have a shirt on. It's straight leopard skin on nigga skin. He look worse than Tyrese with denim suits and no shirts on in 95 degree L.A. weather. He looked in the mirror at that outfit and said "U know wut, I'm so fly I don't need a shirt or even a white beater to go with this. I'm fly as it," Times like that, someone should have politely slapped the shit out of him before he walked out of the house.
Chocolate Thunder himself. It takes a lot of 1960's curtain fabric to make this suit for a man this tall. Did he buy this for an "ugly jacket" contest during the holiday season and run with it? I don't know. I guess when u get old but aren't in the limelight, u look for ways to display ur swagger and reclaim some of ur shine. I bet he picked up some 46 yr old woman in this that night too.
Craig Sager, the most consistently eccentric man in the world of sports production. He probably walks through normal suit shops and scoffs at all these simple and classy business man kind of suits. He probably mutes the State of the Union Address and ridicule how plain Obama looks in his conservative suit. I think he shops at the same suit shop as the Riddler and the Joker in Gotham City. He has a new colorful and extra textured suit every night. This man's closet is probably as colorful as a Skittles factory; I'd probably feel like I was trippin on acid with all the colors I'd see.
The man, the myth, the legend. Walt Clyde Frazier is Swag Personified in NBA History. Even in his playing days, he used to come with a cape on and such. But this here is shameful. I thought he was gonna do a commercial with the cows telling me to "Eat More Chicken." He probably uses pick up lines talking about "milking" while he's wearing this number.

These are but a few offenders, there are MANY MANY more, but this gives u a good sample. Directly in contrast of Soulja Boy's song, these cats need to turn their swag OFF. That swag must die. Unlike many cold guys (including my Air Force father), I do believe that personality and uniqueness keeps American sports entertaining. But sometimes that personality forces a full on assault of my vision when I'm watchin TV. C'mon Guys. Much respect to how well u gentlemen do what u do. But please guys, Do Better...
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