Halloween Special

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A Garmin Phone, Are They Serious???

I understand that if you make a product that is very hot and u can get it added to a phone, it can be very profitable because people do almost everything with their phones these days. Apple, primarily a computer and then a super mp3-player maker, broke into the phone business (with a partnership with AT&T) with the iPhone. This made plenty of sense because it eliminates the need to have both an iPod and a phone at the same time. Plus, the brain trust at Mac cooked up the concept of an all touch screen interface, a web browser that looks just like the Web on a computer, and an ever growing list of useful Applications unmatched at the time. They came up with a concept that all other phones have been trying to match or better ever since it hit the market. However, Garmin's specialty is GPS navigation systems. The way phones are made now, they have a lot more similarity to computers than GPS systems. Close ur eyes and try to imagine someone who would want the best part of their phone to be its GPS system. I guess Garmin thinks that the market for old men who don't like talking on the phone or texting but get lost all the time is bigger than I'd estimate that it is. My phone has a Navigation application built in that I could use while driving or walking if I cared to. I'd imagine most new smart phones do. Furthermore, I'd imagine the iPhone (and more me, my iPod touch) network probably has dozens of navigation apps that could do the job when I need it; which I'd estimate to only be a small percent of the time. Much less than I'd use the phone, texting and other messaging, Internet, or music listening features of the phone. With this being said, I could imagine being more interested in an Skype or even AOL phone than a Garmin phone. For those with an iPod or iTouch, I believe the Garmin could make an application that would blow all of the other navigation/GPS apps out of the water, but that's where it should end. I think the Nuvi phone will and should flop and they should talk to all the phone companies about putting their GPS application in new superphones that are coming out. Otherwise, they're overstepping their boundaries and should stick to what they know. I could be wrong. And someone who cooked up this idea to pitch to his boss at Garmin could call me an idiot who has no idea how the market works in these areas. But it's how I feel every time I've seen the commercial. But hey, I've Been Called Worse...

Food for Thought: Were we meant to eat meat?

I just have a little quick Food For Thought on this subject. I was raised in the South and I love meat as much as the next man. I don't plan on giving it up either. But I was at a Brazilian steakhouse with a teammates and some tennis players last weekend and began thinking about this as I stared at some particularly rare meat sitting on someone's plate. I can do medium-rare, I can deal with a little pink on my steak; but these strips I was lookin at were all pink, no brown in sight, not even on the edges. No one at the table was willing to eat it because how such uncooked food would make us sick. Carnivorous animals may have had a battle over uncooked meat like that. So I started thinking again, were humans even meant to eat meat? Honestly, there's a lot of evidence suggesting that we were not meant to do so. Take a look at both pictures in this blog. Animals who are genetically meant to be carnivores or even omnivores have evolved certain traits that help them hunt, kill and easily eat and digest their meat. They have sharp teeth to easily tear up their meat; we have flat teeth, hence why we have to use utensils to cut up everything. Put us at a table with steak and no steak knife and we look pathetic. Furthermore, to hunt other animals to eat, carnivores have supreme hunting and fighting skills; Take away all weapons and I can't name one animal of any decent size that humans can take one-on-one in a fight; we weren't blessed with claws, tough skin, or any of those kind of advantages for hunting. Plus, carnivores' digestive systems are conditioned for eating raw meat and everything functioning just as it should be. Humans on the other hand can not eat large amounts of uncooked meat. Plus, even eating cooked meat, cholesterol and high blood pressure lead to the leading cause of preventable death, which is heart disease. Humans, especially Black people who frequently eat soul food, are eating ourselves into the grave; which wouldn't happen if our digestive systems were made to run off meat.

So, living in a country that makes meat itself the centerpiece of every meal, if not the whole meal, we must stay conscious of what we eat. Since I have hereditary higher-than-normal cholesterol, I have become very conscious of my consumption of pork, burgers, and other highly unhealthy foods. So I'm not saying that humans should stop eating meat or anything of that nature. But I do say that we need to be conscious of the problems it caused and we as a people need to take better care of ourselves. I didn't cut down on the bacon and double cheeseburgers cuz I didn't like em, I cut down becuz I'd truly like to be around to see my kids grow up and have kids of their own. Take care of yourselves out there. Make sure you get fruits, vegetables, and grains in your diet; it may have been what we were supposed to live off of in the first place. Food For Thought. Am I overthinking this?? Maybe. But I've Been Called Worse...

The Gray Scale

I'd like to spend a few minutes discussing a reference that I have thought up on how to explain my position relative to other men around my age; it is The Gray Scale. This is the easiest way for me to explain the complexities of my mind in an understandable fashion relative of the men at each polar end of the scale to whom I am always compared. I'm often seen as a nice dude, which I've come to hate because of the connotation and somewhat unrealistic expectations that come with the title. When explaining my distaste for the phrase "Nice Guy" I have to make sure that I am clear about my level of grayness. So let's get into the scale:

The White End
Look at the picture, take a good look. You remember this man, I even found a Black & White picture to keep with the gray scale theme. Steven Q. Urkel was the ultimate "nice guy." He saw one girl he liked and showered her with gifts, poems, charm and his "A-Game" even when she was rejecting him. He treated her like a queen every day of his life even when she was shitting on him. He was never thinking sexually, he was always a perfect gentlemen. He never drank, smoked or ever stepped out of line. He probably would never make a move on a girl if she wasn't his girlfriend. And if he could have snagged Laura, he would have tried to lock her down and marry her as soon as possible. No one would ever have anything bad to say about him (other than maybe "nerd" or "lame"). He was always on top of his books, never letting his social life or anything interrupt his studies. He's that guy that no one could imagine in a fight, getting lit at a party, skipping a class, breaking even the slightest law, sayin cuss words, or even getting freaky with anyone other than his wife. He's that "Yes Man" who has trouble saying no or hurting anyone's feelings. He's that dude that a chick who knows he likes her would run to so she can vent about the dude she actually likes just cuz she knows he'll be there to comfort her and make her feel better; but is she thinking about him in any way other than strictly platonic??? HELL NO, she's gon lead him on a little and go back to her actual man. She'll be back when she needs a guy to help her move her furniture into another apartment...

The Black End
What runs through your mind when u see a picture of this guy???? I'd estimate that if you're a woman, it's something like "Ah, hell." This is a modern day GOON (Image wise anyway, Plies is actually a surprisingly educated rapper who happens to be a freak but his brother is the actual thug). Tupac, once a gentleman who saw that women didn't respond to it and became a goon, said "Bitches ain't shit, we don't love them hoes." This embodies the Black End of the scale. He's not worried bout no chick's feelings or what his image is. He's that dude who says whatever foolishness is on his mind and is good at makin enemies and makin people mad for no reason. He's a one night stand machine (probly raw dogging) leading life by the seat of his pants. He's that dude that women knew wasn't worth shit, slept with him anyway and became dramatic and sad when they found out he wasn't gon treat them like shit either. He might be on the wrong side of the law cuz rules and authority weren't ever his thing. He probably makes all his important decisions either high, drunk, or both; and there ain't a damn thing nobody can do about it. He may never turn out to be any kind of decent boyfriend, father, employee or just responsible man. His reputation proceeds him, but it damn sure don't stop him...

Now, I realize as I get older and settle into myself just how gray I have become. I still don't think I'm even on the dark half of that spectrum, but as I look in the rear view mirror, I'm significantly darker than I was even when I first got to college. The Orr family blood that runs through my veins ensures I will always keep a certain level of mannerism and some sense of 'right and wrong.' However, I've become a little deeper shade of gray than I care to be. I have many layers, I'm like an onion. I've been called a gentleman, a "nice guy", and husband material. Then again, I've heard many more negative critiques of myself too. I admit I started drinking too young and have heard I drink and go out too much. I've been called an asshole cuz I like to argue and don't give ppl their way in arguments a lot. My mother and lots of women I've run across have deemed me "A Ladies' Man" and I apparently flirt unconsciously; as you can imagine this had led to other situations as well as rumors. I've been called cold hearted and unromantic for certain rules I've formed like "I'm only asking 'What's wrong' 3 times before I drop the issue" and "If I didn't lie, cheat, or neglect you, I didn't do anything all that wrong" as well as my skepticism about granting a woman "girlfriend status" because of how they tend to change when they receive this power. I text and IM more than I speak to women on the phone at times, which doesn't go over well. Many have somehow been surprised cuz I like sex as much as the average man. I've been in trouble with my coach, my professors, several ladies, and even the Dean of Students once in my time in school. I could go on for quite a while, but the moral of the story is I've come to terms with my surprising level of grayness and it's something people need to understand when trying to figure me out. I'm somewhat confusing to women and depending on the interaction you may think I'm on one end or the other. But I'M ME. Say what you want, I've Been Called Worse...

Real Talk: We're Losing Too Many of Ours

This blog will not be filled with the usual level of humor, bufoonery, or catch phrases you may be looking for, just a somber level of reflection actually; If this upsets you, please look at one of the other posts because this one is not for you, this is some Real Talk. This blog comes on the wheels of me finding out that yet another high school classmate of mine was killed in Charlotte earlier this week. Unfortunately, I haven't shed any tears. I say unfortunately because this is far from the first situation of this nature I have had to deal with since I came to school. Then, after discussing the issue with my older brother, I realized something that I had never explicitly thought about before; these people who are having their lives taken were people who could have had futures and went on to lead productive lives. I mean, going to school in the middle of the hood the way I did, you run into people who you feel like are destined for either prison or an early grave. When the public hears about Black people in the hood, men in particular, being killed at an early age it's comforting to think "He was probably into things he shouldn't be into. He was probably a bad kid who had it coming eventually." That gives the listener just enough sense of fate about the situation that it's no longer as tragic to them. The general public isn't sad when a perceived "menace" or "delinquent" is killed. But these aren't the people I've had to see buried and see their families mourned. I'm not saying these were honor students like the honor student killed by student in Chicago, because that isn't the case. They were from the hood, so they may have a little more attitude than average; but these were people who could make it out of the hood, make it to school somewhere, led out a decent life with some family. The most recent victim was just a chill dude who liked dancing and cracking jokes who was killed over a petty argument, my high school football teammate got killed waiting at a bus stop after getting his hair rebraided, my homeboy's running mate got killed for nothing at a party, another classmate's cousin got killed at a party in Hidden Valley, another homeboy's football teammate got killed over a silly argument. Furthermore, my old AAU and high school track coach (in his 30's) committed suicide shortly after his nephew, who I grew up running track with and who is an NFL hopeful standout scholarship athlete at Louisville, survived gunshots in the back after an argument defending his girl in a club. I was involved in a group fight in which my homeboy got stabbed 4 places and had to be rushed to the hospital with a collapsing lung. And quite frankly, the fight was over nothing but guys bumping gums back and forth. It's dangerous just to be young and Black these days. I mean, even average Black people with no criminal ties or true enemies are just ridiculously close to death or danger all the time. I don't think you can find anyone who would consider me a thug or delinquent and I know this many people who been killed, shot or stabbed short of 25, in most cases short of 20 years old. I don't feel like the white person has people they actually know (like if they saw them they would dap them up and spend a second or two exchanging pleasantries or more) who are doing prison time or have been victims of violent crime. I'M SICK OF THIS BULLSHIT. I know Charlotte ain't Chicago or New Orleans but something has to be done to stop these young Black men getting killed for nothing. I miss the days when arguments were settled with fists. But even more important, I feel like people just have to realize how much there is to life. Then they may not be so ready to take away another life and risk/ruin their own lives. So for anyone reading this, spread the word to every person, especially Black person, you know to take care of themselves and be smart about how they deal with people. There are issues that mean enough to stand for, even in the face of death, but they are few and far between. Most of the people we are losing are being lost for little or nothing. If we don't stop them, no one else will. So I'll leave you with a song that has brought me comfort in the face of all of the aforementioned deaths and convictions. I call this Real Talk becuz this is some of the realest shit I ever wrote; it almost brought tears writing it. Rest in peace Travis, Daniel, Terrence, Bit Trent, Stowe and Moon...

Stop Me When I Start Lying: Guilty Ass Polanski

"LOCK THIS NASTY BASTARD UP ALREADY"
This shit needs to be said. Why the fuck has Roman Polanski turned into a rockstar and a figure worth people rallying around for drugging and raping a 13-year old girl??? This ain't a martyr, who did something revolutionary to fight the oppressive establishment. This ain't someone who got drunk and pissed off some cops or something. Even if he killed someone society despises, like let's say a pedophile rapist, people could rally behind him saying he did a public good. BUT HE WAS THE PEDOPHILE RAPIST!!!!! For those who don't know, Roman Polanski, a very respected movie director, somehow ended up alone in Jack Nicholson's house with a 13-year old girl in 1977; Be reminded, he was 44 at the time. Then he proceeded to give her large amounts of champagne laced with a sedative drug. He then raped her in her vaginal, oral, and anal cavities. He was arrested and pled guilty; AIN'T NO DISPUTE ABOUT IT, HE CONFESSED. Then he skipped the country and hasn't come back since because he doesn't want to go to prison for his crimes. And now Woody Allen, Whoopi Goldberg, and lots of other big names in Hollywood are petitioning for him to get out of his punishment?? WTF is that?? If he was a 44-yr old Black man who drugged some 13-yr old girl and raped her in every hole he could fine, they'd want him to get LYNCHED!!! I'm a young Black man, I live in Georgia. I saw Genarlo Wilson, a 17 yr old Black male who received consensual, non-drugged up oral sex from a 15 yr old chick from his high school, get locked up for 2 years on "child molestation" over some old BS rule making that a sex offense and felony holding a 10 yr sentence. And when the legislators reevaluated the rule and changed it to a misdemeanor 2 yrs later, there were big-time lawyers and a Douglas County Superior Court judge who were breaking their necks not to let him out even though he should've been out under the new legislation. He finally got out in 2007. He was getting recruited for football by D-1 schools, this ruined his chances at a scholarship. But since Polanski can direct his ass off, he's not supposed to be brought to justice??? That's just fucked up, no other way to say it. In the fashion of the "Free [insert incarcerated celebrity's name]" campaign, I want to start up a "LOCK POLANSKI UP" campaign. If he's out of our jurisdiction, we need to call up Batman to go get him like he did Lao from "The Dark Knight" or something. Old rich white dudes should be tried, sentenced and punished (including being on the Sex Offender Registry list), just like they woulda done my Black ass if I went around drugging and raping 13-yr old white women; yea, I think race matters. If Spike Lee woulda done it, they woulda got his ass. Stop Me When I Start Lying...

Am I being racist, maybe overreacting? I truly don't care, it's how I feel. I've Been Called Worse...

2009 Nobel Peace Prize Winner, Barack Obama

It was announced today that President Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. For an international body to award him such a prestigious honor says a lot. It shows me that on the international scene, the civilized world truly does respect and admire the man's intentions on how he is working to change diplomacy. And for the Black community, it will inevitably be compared and mentioned in conversation with Martin Luther King Jr winning the award in 1963, which brings joy about how far the race has progressed. But at the same time, I can't help but think, don't you have to wait til he puts his intentions in the done column first? I have tremendous confidence that Obama truly does plan on reforming health care, improving education, and make progress on our energy dependencies. Similarly, I also believe that his globally diplomatic issues truly do include closing Guantanamo Bay, getting soldiers home from Iraq, and trying to make progress towards co-existence between the Israelis and Palestinians. However, he hasn't done it yet. I'm only speculating from a non-politician's perspective, but I believe there is an amazing amount of red tape that he is dealing with to get these things done. A million small considerations and obstacles that we wouldn't think were necessary. I'm getting tired of Congress finding reasons to shoot down his health care reform and I don't deal with it every day, so I know it's dominating his time and efforts. Part of the reason I do not like politics is all the extra (trying to coerce allies, trade support on issues, etc.) that has to be done to get meaningful work finished. These things don't happen in any timely fashion and everything is harder than it looks. So, I'm still firmly in Obama's corner and I believe that he will do as much to make good on his campaign promises as Congress and whoever else allows him to. But give the man a chance to do it. He's already become a very polarizing figure, people either love him and what he is trying to do, or they hate him and use hyperbolic insults to paint him as a phony. So although he must be honored to win such an award, he probably understands that this adds even more pressure to make sure that the things he advertised happen. He's gotten the award off effort to this point. In the end, with a president, effort means a lot, but he will ultimately be judged by what ACTUALLY gets done rather than what he tries to get done.

I think if the late MLK could talk to Obama about this award, he would say "Congratulations. Take the award in stride, but don't ever take your eyes off the prize. Never take anything for granted. This opportunity will mean little for our people if you do not achieve what you said you would and what you are capable of." I agree. I would not at all call the award undeserved the way many have in articles today, I'd call it premature. I'm hopeful that his body of work will warrant more Nobel Prizes when he pushes things all the way through. He should keep working, and I'ma just keep hoping.....

Do Better: Bad Habit of "Reaching" and "C'Mon Son" answers

For this installment of Do Better, I wanna talk about saying foolishness in the midst of an intellgent argument. I tend to find myself in arguments often, about sports, women, politics, life, etc. And one thing I pride myself on is trying to be logical in the midst of my arguing. I don't think like the everyday person but I do try to have some logical defense when I do say things. However, some people seemingly just talk to be talking. And due to being the only one talking people tend to listen and sometimes it makes us as a people look bad. We've seen them embarassing Black America on news, in the media, some have even made it to high positions of power; Jesse Jackson wants to cut Obama's balls off, u remember that? I do. Wasn't a bright moment for our people. When you start somewhere that makes at least a tad of sense (unlike Mr. Jackson) and then go drastically of course, I call that "reaching." Not to be confused with "Wildin" which is just completely shooting out into the dark. For today's purposes, we'll take a page from Ed Lover and call Wildin Out the "C'Mon Son" answer. I've created a scale of different degrees of normalcy in the midst of arguments, complete with explanations. Please go forth and enlighten those you enter discussions with when they get too far off-base. Here they are:

Accepted favorites (AF)
The easiest, most accepted, most popular best answer to the question. This doesn't take much thought, it's probably the first thing that comes to mind when you think of whatever you are discussing.

Accepted norms (AN)
Outside of the accepted favorites, but still a very reasonable and non-controversial answer. Although it's not the most popular, you still undoubtedly can make plenty of sense as soon as you state this answer.

Unconventional but acceptable (UBA)
These are the answers or perspectives that sound odd when first said but upon further review can be very well defended. Depending on the subject, these may sound like reaches at first, but with proper justification can be accepted and logical.

"Reaching"
These go off-base for some reason or another. Many times hype or emotion can factor into impulsive reaching in the heat of an argument. Like, I see the basis, but the answer doesn't quite belong in this conversation. These should be pointed out to the "reacher" during the argument to make sure they do not continue muddying up the argument.

"C'Mon Son'"
Shooting off into the dark, firing from the seat of your pants, whatever other analogy needs to be used. Wildin' too much during a serious conversation is grounds to be either ejected or ignored for the remainder of the discussion.

Examples:
Let's start with sports, easiest to convey:
Subject: Who's the best player in the NBA?
AF: Kobe Bryant
Response: "Figures"
AN: LeBron James or Dwyane Wade
Response: "They are pretty damn good."
UBA: Chris Paul, Dwight Howard, or Kevin Garnett
Response: "I didn't think of them, but I feel where you're coming from. I'll love to have any of leading my team."
Reaching: Carmelo Anthony, Gilbert Arenas
Response: "WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. They can get hot and ball with anybody, but they don't belong in this conversation right now."
C'Mon Son: Vince Carter
Response: "WTF?? Did u really just say that??? I think u should leave this argument to us and sit this one out."

Subject: "Who's the best QB in the NFL?" (I'll leave Favre out of it, I swear)
AF: Peyton Manning, Tom Brady
Response: "Standard"
AN: Drew Brees
Response: "Dude is ballin' outta control."
UBA: Ben Roethlisberger, Philip Rivers, Donovan McNabb
Response: "I got nothing bad to say about any of them"
Reaching: Jay Cutler, Tony Romo
Response:"We're gettin a little off base her. They've had hot spells, but you're lettin the hype get to u. No way in hell u can argue them over the other QBs mentioned."
C'Mon Son: Michael Vick
Response: "BARTENDER!!!!! Get this man's tab. It's time for him to leave, immediately."

Maybe more people can related to an argument about celebrities or something of that nature,

Subject: "Who is the most attractive Black female celebrity?"
AF: Halle Berry
Response: "Classic"
AN: Gabrielle Union, Beyonce
Response: "Hard picks to beat."
UBA: Sanaa Lathan, Ida Ljungqvist, Paula Patton
Response: "They sound unorthodox, but do your research and you'll see."
Reaching: Janet Jackson
Response: "STOP, stop it right now. We've seen her look good, very good before. Lots of sex appeal, but she's not fit for this conversation."
C'Mon Son: Trina, Mariah Carey
Response:"With all due respect, don't speak again for the duration of this conversation. Just cuz someone is sexy and u'd like to fuck them doesn't mean they belong in this convo. "

For good measure, let's even cover an issue that has probably been argued since the dawn or relationships with a multitude of different answers

Subject: Why do men cheat? Always controversial
DISCLAIMER: Read this to understand my points on reaching, wildin and such. We can have an argument about the morals of cheating some other time.
AF: Sex drive desiring diversity
Response:"Yea, we all know a lotta dudes are out gooning, just into numbers. Trying to get it from whoever they can. Can't argue that."
AN: Insecurity
Response: "Makes sense. Some ppl feed their ego on knowing that they can go out and get other women. Women cheat too for similar reasons."
UBA: Unfulfilled companionship in their current relationship
Response: "Most guys do it for less noble reasons, but yea sometimes the companionship and conversation end is what is pushing him towards other women rather than any sexual or ego issues."
Reaching: "My girl's pussy just ain't what it used to be."
Response:"PUMP UR BREAKS THERE FELLA. I know y'all been together a while and u're "used to each other" sexually. Maybe there's more nagging n such going on than before, but that is not the correct explanation. There's a lot more goin on n ur relationship that the quality of her pussy. That's not a suitable explanation, bruh."
C'Mon Son: "Niggas are just made to cheat." (I've actually heard this from someone's mouth)
Response: SECURITY!!!! COME GET THIS MAN!!!! He's not fit to be here. He's degrading the legitimacy of our entire discussion. Seriously bruh, how would u feel if someone said that to u with a straight face."

There are only examples of the ignorance that comes out during conversations that were meant to actual require some kind of thought. We as a people can do much better for ourselves if we think things through especially in public settings. Throwing out half-baked logic-less statements on issues that actually matter are doing absolutely nothing for us. We are intelligent and the information is out there. There is no shame in finding out about a subject before deciding to be opinionated on that subject. Let's Do Better...

Stop Me When I Start Lying: I Work for the Devil

Stop Me When I Start Lying: I Work for the Devil

Fucking right I said it. I know it sounds overly harsh and it probably is based on use of the word devil. But it was the most concise way to convey my point. I am on the student appeals board for the GT Parking Office, which I have found to be a completely immoral and unethical system. I am borderline ashamed to tell people that I work there even though I work on a board intended to help the student combat their tickets. Lemme explain what I mean and if it still sounds like I'm being harsh, lemme kno:

• Georgia Tech is the only place on Earth, well at least America, where if you see a curb that isn't yellow and has no hashmarks with no No Parking Zone sign in sight, you can still receive a $50 No Parking Zone ticket. The rule on campus is that a parking spot is denoted by two white lines (lines or brackets) no matter what. However, this is not written anywhere in the parking rules brochure you receive with your $620 parking pass that is supposed to be the Bible of parking rules for the Institution. Why not you say? Because if the students know that, the parking officers can write less preventable tickets, which makes less money. But that's just the tip of the iceberg
• Our parking pass is $620 this year (and usually rises about $30-40 every year) and it only allows you to park in one designated parking zone on campus. I have friends in colleges nationwide, there is only one school I've encountered with a more expensive parking pass. And every other person I've spoken to has more flexibility about where you can park with their passes. Futhermore, there are certain cars where the parking pass lays on the window or doesn't fit around the rear view mirror and other people who have passes but forget to display them. Rather than running the tag to see if the person has a parking pass, the officers find it easier (and more profitable) to write a $50 Unregistered vehicle ticket than an appropriate $10 Failure to Display ticket. And in many cases, if they looked a little harder, they would see the pass, it just doesn't sit down like usual. Jerks. But let's move on...
  
• It seems very feasible to me, that if you have a parking pass for a lot where you have to swipe into a gate, every once in a while you may leave your card somewhere. If you make it to this lot and don't have your card, obviously you can't get in. So it also seems logical they may park in the next ungated lot in order to go get their cards from their rooms or wherever. However, in most cases, by the time they go grab the card, they have a ticket already. What they don't know is that they can go online and file an "Out of Area request" for these situations and have no fear of being ticketed. However, once again, this was conveniently left out of the rules brochure because if people know, they will use it, which means less preventable tickets written, and less money coming in an the students' expense.
• We must have the worst meters in the world. Some are already blinking "Failed" when you park in the spot, meaning you have to move because a failed meter is a 'No Parking Zone' and $50 ticket. Others just don't register your time as you are putting your money into them. Others will take your money and register your time but switch to "Failed" before the time you have paid for has expired. Will Parking have them fixed? Hell no. If you have one of these problems, there is a number you can call to explain the situation and not have to fear tickets. Once again, that was conveniently left out of the rules brochure to keep the preventable tickets rolling in and the money that comes from them.
• We have several parking spots on all sides of campus where the lines have faded off, signs have been removed from their posts or the fences they were attached to, and hash marks have faded away in places. We already discussed the lack of "No Parking Zone" signs. There are plenty of deceptive reserved spots and other designations also. The simplest solution would be to repaint the appropriate lines, paint handicap spots blue, and reserved spots yellow. Problem solved. Once again, progress and clarity are not profitable to the parking office. We see handicap tickets all the time because there are handicap spots that have completely lost all hash marks and markers. Handicap tickets are worth $500 by the way. We used to have the power to reduce them to $125 if you've never received a handicap ticket before; this year, the powers that be have decided that even if it's someone's first ever ticket, they gotta pay at least $250. And I doubt maintenance has or will ever hear anything about fixing those problems I highlighted earlier. Why? Preventable tickets = more money.
• The population of the school has increased each of the past three academic years, by about 5000 people I believe. Why is it that every chance they get parking lots are being eliminated left and right. Architecture building parking lot? A grassy lawn with a sidewalk now. The library lot (this was big considering how many people are used to spending nights in the library doing work, many of whom also commute)? Being turned into some building that I've yet to get a logical explanation for. The meters down the hill from the parking lot(a logical back up plan since they are axing the main library lot)? Gone. E-64 coliseum lot, where we usually park for track practice because its right beside our locker room? Being turned into an extra gym for our basketball team (dead last in the ACC last year). By the way, the Men's track team's scholarships have been cut in half despite many top 4 ACC finishes including runner-up to National Champion Florida State. And they're building basketball a new gym and cutting out our parking too, but that's a whole nother blog. There are more examples also, ridiculously irrational to me. Especially citing the next point...
• During football games, everyone who paid their $620 to have a parking pass on the East side of campus has to evacuate these parking spots so that the parking office can charge game fans big-money to park there. Any car left in their spot, for any reason, is getting towed. The towing fine is $125 plus any other outstanding tickets, $75 of which is non-refundable no matter the circumstance. Consequently, they have to move their cars over to West Campus, where I live and park, congesting our parking situation. To add insult to injury, they try to charge random game fans $15 to park on west campus also. Meaning the parking situation becomes pure and utter chaos. I once had to park a good 3 parking lots farther away from my usual spot because of this congestion. I was not pleased.
• This one is particularly ridiculous. As I walk out to the track a few days ago, I see my Track coach's car with a ticket in a legitimate spot by the track. My event coach, Nat Page (who has coached stellar athletes and champions at the conference, NCAA, and World and Olympic levels) was hired by the Institution to coach its track team, but isn't permitted to park at the track? He only goes two places on campus: his office in the Athletic Association (which he had to pay for the $620+ parking pass out of his check to park at) and the track, where he is required to be every afternoon to perform his job duties. I had to argue with my boss and other meaningful people in the parking office about their claims that his "Official Business Pass" only lasts two hours. WTF??? IF THE TRACK COACH WHO IS REQUIRED TO SPEND MORE THAN TWO HOURS AT THE TRACK DOESN'T HAVE OFFICIAL BUSINESS THERE, WHO THE FUCK DOES?? I feel like this pass was meant to keep other people out of these spots to keep them free for the people who need to be at the track......like a track coach. I won't even start on how bad they do the track athletes.
• It took me working there to realize how silly the parking situation was and how "ninja-like" the parking officers are, seemingly being everywhere at all times. You can 'run in' to grab something, be moving a television into your room, have your flashers on, does not matter. If you are not within a plain view of your car for over about 45 seconds, you may come back to find a ticket. I figured to myself, they must be on commission or something. Even though they're assholes who take their jobs too seriously and enforce an immoral system, if they made more money for writing more tickets, I could start to understand their motives. BUT THEY DON'T. This confirmed my suspicions that they are jerks just for the sake of being jerks and because their fake badges give them the right. My roommate got a ticket once and he barely stopped the car. He knew he was at risk waiting there and circled the block, he got back to the parking office with the ticket in his hand to hand to him.
• As for my experience on the appeals board, I won't lie a lot of the cases brought before us are just students doing stupid stuff and hoping we'll have sympathy, which works on some cases if you don't have a history. I will say about 60% of tickets are in this fashion. Some very outlandish, such as "I figured if I parked on the grass by the dorm, I wasn't in anyone's way" and other foolishness like that. However the other 40% invested at least some thought into why their ticket should be reduced or dismissed. Now, my boss's boss is trying to make it so certain appeals are automatically filtered out and unappealable no matter the reason for the ticket. And he can't figure out why we're stalling on helping him. It's immoral and fucked up.
• There are people working in the parking office who are constantly on our backs for whatever reason. "They're dismissing and reducing too many tickets", "they don't do anything, why are we paying them?" "blah, blah, blah" whatever. The fact is everyday we either have people coming in for appeals or we are making decisions on written appeals. But this is the root of my problem with these people: we work like an hour a day at $8 an hour. What are you worried about us for? They make more in one full workday than we make in a week. And you trying to push to get rid of us? We make chump change, we getting pennies. There are people sitting back there making $50K a year or more that DON'T DO SHIT. Get off my nuts, close the YouTube on your computer and do some fucking work of your own.
  
• Last year, I got towed by the parking office twice. The first time, policemen (not parking officers, but policemen, sheriffs maybe) who patrol the parking lot that we usually parked at for working our football games, told us that if we parked in a certain corner of the parking lot, we'd never have any problems. HE LIED. We came back from a 11-hour day of catering for the football games to find we would have to spend the checks we had just received to get our cars out of impound. Fucked up, I know. You can imagine what this did to my perception of parking officers and policemen; ain't like I liked them before that. Tow #2 happened shortly after my car was stolen off of campus. After being missing for about a week, Atlanta police call me and tell me that they found my stolen car and have it in impound. So I have to pay over $200 to get my car back from the city of Atlanta. So when I finally get it and bring it back to campus and clean out my car, I find my parking pass (interesting because they had stolen my rearview mirror) and sit it in the change tray to keep up with it. I come back to find my car towed. But why I think to myself?? The same officers who write "unregistered vehicle" tickets to cars because they claim they can't see them if they don't hang down enough or don't wanna check the tag, somehow saw and checked my parking pass as it sat in my change tray and towed by car because I was displaying a stolen parking pass. I GOT TOWED FOR STEALING AND SHOWING MY OWN FUCKING PARKING PASS. I should kept parking across the street over in the hood where my car was "safe," it got stolen about 3 weeks after I bought the pass and moved it onto campus.

If you are not convinced or think I am taking something out of context. Please comment, I'd be happy to argue with you, but I don't think you will find to much. May not be what people wanna hear, but Stop Me When I Start Lying. Period. I'll let the pic below convey how I'd feel if I caught a parking officer out somewhere in plain clothes.