This College Football Season as of November 12, 2009

My biggest truths and questions about the 2009 College Football Season to this point AS OF November 12, 2009 (always subject to change):

• THE GEORGIA TECH YELLOW JACKETS ARE BALLIN!! The Boys are currently number 7 in the BCS polls. Biggest shouts to Josh Nesbitt, Jon Dwyer, Demaryius Thomas, Morgan Burnett, and Derrick Morgan. They've got legit wins to their names, only one lose which was to a legit and revenge-bent Miami team. Barring a letdown loss to Duke, we'll be in the ACC Championship game against Clemson, who we have already beat this year. Although they still scare me becuz of the raw speed of Jacoby Ford and CJ Spiller, I'm confident we can beat them again and win our first ACC title since 1990. I'll admit it, I didn't believe Paul Johnson's triple option could work in the ACC when we hired him, and I was wrong, they been makin quality opponents look stupid and we look like we're headed to a BCS Bowl game.
• Conversely, the Georgia Bulldogs are FALLIN!! They're our rivals and they have my high school rival Joe Cox (from Independence) at QB. So fuck em, I hope they don't win another game this season and I hope we put 55 points on them when we play them after our bye week. We could lose out and they could win out and we'll still have a better season than them. Their season is so bad that they're puttin their good coach on the hot seat. Let em overreact and fire Mark Richt and see how far they fall in yrs to come. Fuckin idiots. Chew ur bone bitches.
  
• Florida State is too damn talented to be playin so bad, but they still CAN'T fire Bobby Bowden. Don't get me wrong, he probly shoulda stepped down some yrs back and I'm not doubting that. But their sports program, not just their football team, would be completely irrelevant without Bowden. He got there when they had just become a co-ed school and we strugglin to win 3 games a season. He had a 14 yr span where he only lost 18 games; they were just in a BCS bowl game 3 yrs ago. Just like with Joe Paterno, bad stretches happen, and he's not actually runnin the offense or defense anyway. Ain't like he steppin on someone's toes or lost his mind or somethin. Firing him would be the most disloyal shit imaginable. Let him leave when he wants, HE MADE YOU.
• Tennessee keeps taking a step or two forward and then one or two right back. Lane Kiffin got himself in hot water before he got on campus good by antagonizing Gators coach Urban Meyer. He redeemed himself by gettin his team up to fight toe-to-toe with No. 1 Florida, No. 2 Alabama and other top-level teams. Then Nu'Keese Richardson, the recruit to whom Kiffin was calling out Meyer about violations (or so he inaccurately thought) in the recruitment of, is among 3 talented freshman who were arrested today for robbing a convenient store on or right across the street from campus with a pellot gun. With his emphasis on discipline on his team, he's probly gonna have to unload the best fruits of his first recruiting class. Good luck makin ur point without torpedoing your team. It's not ur fault Lane, they're obviously idiots for that one; they even left the gun on the seat of the car sitting outside of the on-campus dorm they live in. Brilliant.
• Big Shout to the Mountain West Conference!! No. 4 TCU is about as good a team as there is in the nation, period. They better be in a BCS bowl. No. 16 Utah, who beat Alabama in a BCS bowl last season, is still a legit team and probly would be a BCS hopeful again if they didn't have to play TCU this week. No. 22 BYU is an afterthought even though they've only lost to TCU and the crazy-talented yet mercurial Florida State Seminoles. Each of these three teams scheduled, and in most cases beat, talented teams from Big Conferences. Way to put ur conference on the map.
• On a related note, much love to Boise State; they always ball out. However, I'm more on the TCU bandwagon than the Broncos' right now. Can't put my finger on it. Probly has somethin to do with the way Oregon's running back LeGarrette Blount floored the shit-talking, yet glass jawed offensive lineman from Boise State with one punch; he didn't even cock it back, it was straight from the shoulder. I would tell him to get his weight up, but he's big enough. Just needs to learn how to take a punch.
• Similar Big ups to No. 5 Cincinnati. I don't know much about you but Brian Kelly has his team playing well despite which QB is playing for his team.
  
• I'm tired of the Tim Tebow Mania. He's a great athlete, hard-nosed and strong willed kid who everyone would love on their team. However, anyone with an understanding of football knows he's not playing as well this year as he was before. They're not making big plays like they usually do. They're honestly undefeated becuz of their defense this year. So say Tebow is good and leave it there. STOP ACTIN LIKE HE DESERVES ANOTHER HEISMAN, STOP SAYIN HE'S A FIRST ROUND DRAFT PICK, AND STOP GIVIN HIM CREDIT FOR CHRIS LEAK'S NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP TOO. Sorry, last one was a more personal issue with the man. Nick Saban and the Crimson Tide, please beat these bastards in Atlanta and end the bufoonery!!
• Michigan, it started well, your young QB shows promise for the future, but it's apparently still not your time yet. I still think Rich Rodriguez should have stayed in West Virginia and become the Bobby Bowden of his school. But u chased the money and found the drama and overly critical boosters. Good luck and I'm sorry that ur probly gonna get punished by the Buckeyes.

And how for the How the fuck/What the fuck section...

• HOW THE FUCK is USC still in the top 10?? I have tremendous respect for Pete Carroll as a coach and motivator, but the way the AP and BCS always show favoritism to No. 9 USC is just fucking ridiculous. There's only one other two loss team ranked above them and it is Les "The Mad Hatter" Miles's No. 8 LSU Tigers whose two losses are to No. 1 Florida and No. 2 Alabama by a combined total of 19 points. USC lost to Washington, current 3-6 and 2-4 in the Pac-10, and took an almost 30-point shillacking (I made it up, get over it) from No. 10 Oregon. How are they ranked No. 9 and they're now a longshot to win their conference?? I know they'll sell a lotta ticket if they end up in Pasadena for either BCS bowl game played there this year, but they don't deserve to be there. They're got more than enough talent, get off their dick and let em earn it on the field. They barely beat the consistently overrated Notre Dame team I'm about to speak on...
  
• HOW THE FUCK is Charlie Weis still Notre Dame's coach?? Notre Dame must be the biggest hypocrites in the front office around and possibly most racist too. Notre Dame is the only team in the nation that gets to hand pick every team on their schedule since their football program isn't in a conference and have their own TV contract; we beat them by 30 a couple yrs ago and they quickly cancelled their contract with Tech. So they came into the season thinking they had given themselves a chance at 11 wins and a BCS bowl game. WRONG!!! the AP even tried their best to keep em ranked and in place to do it too. Didn't make it happen. If u're gonna fire Ty Willingham for 1 very good season and two mediocre season, how do u justify Weis still being there after 2 good seasons (with Willingham's recruits and each with lopsided bowl losses) followed by the 2 worst seasons in school history despite them softening up their schedule every year since he's been there?? And on top of that, he got a huge pay raise. He might be their cuz they're gonna have to pay him so much to leave. Either way, they're gonna have trouble winning their last 3 games and they're not gonna be in the BCS picture. How will the bullshit artists find a way not to fire him this year?? I always examine teams who fire Black coaches to hire some overhyped white coach and I've concluded that Notre Dame are the biggest, most racist, hypocrites on this subject, period. UCLA should fire Rick Neuheisel too; they fired Karl Dorrell after he knocked USC out of the National Championship Game for mediocrity. They traded mediocrity for being the the doormat of their conference. Great idea.
• WHAT THE FUCK has gotten into the ballin Stanford Cardinal??? That Pac-10 bottom-feeder spot that UCLA has taken under Neuheisel was occupied by Stanford for quite a few years recently. However, behind 2nd year coach Jim Harbaugh, redshirt freshman QB Andrew Luck, and He-Man look-a-like RB Tony Gerhart, they are in the top 25, 6-3 and right in the thick of the Pac-10 race. Kudos to you, keep doing ur thing.
• WHO THE FUCK thought it was a good idea to make Terrelle Pryor mad??? The other teams in the Big Ten should be looking to find these people and fuck them up severely. Maybe it was pride after hearing himself criticized, maybe Jim "The Vest" Tressell listened to Pryor's high school coach and has given him a little more freedom in the offense, I dunno. But whatever it is, Pryor has reaffirmed that he's a beast, he's a dog, and a motherfucking problem. You don't wanna be a team going up against him right now. Since losing to Purdue and the criticism starting, Minnesota, New Mexico State, and No. 11 Penn State have all gotten butt-fucked by a combined 110-7. All of a sudden he's running and throwing like the freakish athlete he is. He coulda been in the Heisman race if he would've started the year the way he's playing now. For future reference, you wanna light a fire under a freakish, yet slightly underachieving athlete, call him a scrub and stand back.

SUPERLATIVES

• My Heisman Race: TCU QB Andy Dalton, Texas QB Colt McKoy, Alabama RB Mark Ingram, Georgia Tech QB Josh Nesbitt (homer, don't judge me) and Miami QB Jacory Harris
  
• BCS Conference Champs: ACC - Georgia Tech, SEC - Alabama, Pac-10 - Oregon, Big Ten - Ohio State, Big 12 - Texas, Big East - Cincinnati
• Coach of the Year Finalists: Georgia Tech's Paul Johnson, Cincinnati's Brian Kelly, Oregon's Chip Kelly, TCU's Gary Patterson, Miami's Randy Shannon, and Iowa's Kirk Ferentz