Do Better: Fans, Stop Disrespecting History

Alright, enough is enough. I get into these arguments about Kobe Bean Bryant quite often. It could be a discussion of whether I'd rather have him or LeBron to build a team around, it could be that I still think Chris Paul deserved that MVP a few yrs ago more than Kobe, it could be a lot of other things. They are usually in a somewhat joking fashion for the sake of arguing. But one argument in particularly got under my skin recently. It was argued to me by a teammate of mine that Kobe will very soon be the best Lakers player of all-time. Talk about being heated...He almost got swung on. I told him like Vince Vaughn "YOU BITE YOUR TONGUE" for saying something so blasphemous. I'm not a Kobe fan for a multitude of reasons - Snitchin on Shaq, Letting His Ego Help Torpedo a Dynasty In Vain, Sodomizing Random White Women, Bad Talking Teammates On YouTube, Giving Himself a Number Right Above Jordan's, Plays for the Evil Empire of the NBA, etc - but I can admit that he's a phenomenal player and will retire as one of the top two or three players to ever have played the shooting guard position. But that statement was a slap in the face of many great players, two in particular who are among the best to have ever played the game. Look back at that picture, notice who's on top of who. For him to dismiss Magic Johnson and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (not to even mention West, Baylor, etc.) so smoothly was downright insulting and I wasn't even alive during their primes. Jabbar revolutionized the way the center position was played, before him big men had no footwork, no low post moves or anything. Hell, the man invented the "skyhook" (shown in the picture) which is a staple of every big man's game now. He's the one who made the position into art. And Magic...he's undoubtedly the only player in NBA history that he could have been legendary at all five positions. If u don't believe me, ask the 1980 Eastern Conference Champion Philly 76ers who faced the Lakers in the Finals. Magic, a rookie point guard, had to fill in at CENTER (against their legendary players Julius "Dr. J" Erving and Moses Malone) for Jabbar due to injury in Game 6. What did he do?? Only went for 42 pts, 15 rebounds, and 7 assists as the Lakers won the Championship. He undoubtedly changed the game with his versatility and he stands beside Oscar Robertson as the mold for the current floor general versatile point guard. So as my anger over this blasphemy subsided, I realized the problem. There are many sports fans who simply don't know their sports history. This causes people to automatically say that the best players they saw in their lifetime have to be the best to ever play the game. This has been going on since the Jordan Era, fortunately he deserved it so it wasn't a problem. But it also causes statements I've heard like "Brady, Manning and Favre are the 3 greatest QBs ever", "Steve Nash and Jason Kidd are the best point guard floor generals ever", and more applicably "Kobe and Shaq were the best duo ever," All of the people named are legendary and will go down in history among the best of their eras for sure. But don't make statements about "all-time" or "ever" without doing your research. Kobe is currently the most polished player in the league and is remarkable at what he does, however, he's mimicking in the Jordan mold. Unless he either finds a way to fundamentally change the way the position/game is played like the others did or just wins a ridiculously high number of rings, he will not pass them in the history books. He's fabulous, but pump your breaks overstep your boundaries promoting your favorite player. History deserves that much. Do Better...

What U Mean U Didn't Know??

Yesterday, I was sitting at a Georgia Tech home tennis match with some of my teammates. And one of the freshman was editing a paper for his international affairs/international history class and asked me a question about the conditions by certain country leaders and dictators came to power. He phrased the question as a disguised yes or no question; I'm guessing he was expecting a simple yes or no answer. But I felt he was a little off-base so I had to break down the difference between the rise and reign of Joseph Stalin, Adolph Hitler, Fidel Castro, Benito Mussolini, and Muammar Gaddafi (or Quaddafi) so that he could fully see the difference between a communist rise to power, socialist rise to power, revolutionary rise to power, a fascist rise to power, and a militaristic coup. Let's just say I don't think he was ready for all that. One of the other guys sitting with us turns to me and says "Man Nigel, I didn't know you knew stuff like that." IN my mind, I thought "What U Mean U Didn't Know??" Naturally my response was let me now that despite the face that I'm an athlete, a sports addict, and thrive on cheap laughs, I am educated and versed in many areas. I am many things, a moron I am not. It made me wonder exactly what people actually think of me intellectually upon meeting and spending small periods of time with me. Do I need to tone down the comedy and try to start more serious convos about current social and diplomatic issues? Should I leave sports out of my convo? Should I lie and say I'm not an athlete so ppl won't throw the "jock" stereotype on me? What conclusion did I come to on these questions?? Fuck that, I'm doin me. To those who stereotype me early, Fuck u, don't judge me. Maybe the intelligent and enlightening side of my being will just have to be a pleasant surprise for the chosen few who earn the right to see it. That will require them to have started thought-provoking convo with me, so I'll be sure that I'm not wasting it on non-receptive duds. So all I ask of everyone, is to wait til u've given me a chance before u judge me. I may just surprise u. U may think I'm giving myself too much credit, or being self-promoting but u know the deal, I've Been Called Worse...

Do Better: I'm Still Mad, Sammy

Even months later, I'm still angry. I saw this new Caucasian-skinned, straight haired Sammy Sosa picture months ago. He claimed some skin "rejuvenation" treatment made him this light. Every time I think about it, it makes me more and more mad. But unless "rejuvenation" is a new word for bleaching, somebody needs an ass-whooping. If Sammy signed up to become white after he was the brown-skinned Dominican half of the most memorable home run race of the past few decades, he deserves to be smacked repeated in his suddenly pale face. If somebody told him the treatment would just smooth out his skin or condition it and this happened, he should be taking his corked baseball bat to someone else's ass. Either way, this shit is borderline appalling to me and I don't even know the man personally. Dominicans are a proud people who come in many shades: from cocoa butter tan all the way to Senegalese dark black. Not included in that list was Jake Gyllenhaal white; so Sammy is clearly in violation. I wish I had a flag to throw on the play and Adam Sandler's remote from "Click" to stop him before he went through his "rejuvenation."At least you can go online and find pictures proving that Michael Jackson was having skin issues before he started bleaching, Sammy has no excuse. I can't speak for everyone, but you disappointed me Sammy and I think u've done a disservice to your dark brothers and sisters back in the DR. They were on your side even back when u had the serious jheri curl. I'm not sure if I can even consider u part of the team anymore. I'm flyin my flag at half-staff for all your lost melanin. Do Better...

Stop Me When I Start Lying: A Lotta Woman, the Good Kind

I've frequently had conversations with my friends about the shapes and sizes of women I find myself attracted to. And in these convos, usually the words "That's a lotta woman" is not used in a good way; even if she's not nasty, the woman mentioned is usually more than I'm ready for. There is a certain weight range and certain bodily ratios (stomach to breast, stomach to butt AKA "Booty Do") that are acceptable and others that are not for me; for instance, a severe muffin top stomach (see "muffin top" blog entry if u don't know what it is) throws almost any ratio out of whack. It's my taste, I know clearly on sight what I can and can't handle. My range is actually bigger than some would guess for me, but there are usually definite barriers. However, the above picture has thoroughly vexed me on this subject. This woman pictured (courtesy MediaTakeOut.com) is a model named Kai Lynn who is reportedly 5'5 and 200 lbs. When I close my eyes and imagine 5'5 and 200 lbs, the woman in my vision is just fat and nasty causing my face inevitably to turn very sour. However, this chick's shape is remarkable to be carrying this kind of weight. She still has a wonderful waist line to go with great ratios and a cute face. It may be fake, they're faking everything else now, I dunno. But nonetheless, this boggled my mind as I did not think this was possible. In my experience, I've never met a chick at any height who could hold 200 lbs (that I knew about anyway) in a manner that makes me say "Oh yeah, I like that." So seeing this was somewhat of a shock. I've seen shapes where there was too much booty and it become unmanageable in a sexual sense; furthermore, gravity takes its toll on that kind of meat as time wears on and sagginess ensues. But in this case, I'm not sure whether I'll sink or swim, but she's worth me jumping in the water to see. I'll take that L like a man if I can't handle it. So for now, I tip my hat to you Kai, u've made me a believer for now. I just hope that it looks that same way without the tights on, and I wish u luck that u don't become a victim of gravity lowering its droopy boom on ur sexiness. Stop Me When I Start Lying...

Food for Thought: In Search of Vision

Just like Blaxploitation era pimp/hustler Willie Dynamite in the clip u just watched (Hint: watch it now if u skipped it), right now I am full of ambition but lacking the proper vision. Unlike Willie, I am not a pimp trying to rationalize a power struggle with a slightly effeminate older pimp who is overly expressive with his hands. Instead, I am graduating in May into a slowly recovering job market full of questions. I have so many thought about what I want to do in the long run and/or experience I'd like to have. However, my mission right now is to do the research and figure out step by step how I want to get there. I don't want to be one of those people who doesn't make it to a position where they feel productive or like their job until they're in their 50s. I just have to figure out the shorter (not necessarily the easier) route. Maybe I do need to go to grad school, maybe I need to look to move up from a different direction than my given major usually hires, maybe I should look into an apprenticeship and move up that way. I have a Hurricane Katrina-like brain storm raging in my mind. Hopefully God's guidance, connections with professionals, and my own blood, sweat, tears, and perseverance can help me find the vision to make it. Failure is not an option, I've come too far to work at Foot Locker and sponge off my family. I gotta get to grinding and get my life together, please pray for me...

Stop Me When I Start Lying: Sexism VS. Gender Understanding

In this first Stop Me If I Start Lying of the year 2010, I'd like to explore some of my views on gender traits and relations. This is often dangerous territory becuz it leads to the perception that u are a sexist for bringing these trends up. However, even when they start pulling out the word sexist, I rarely hear anybody justifiably disagree with me on the ideas that I highlight. I love women and they're irreplaceable.
DISCLAIMER: Before reading any further, please know that just as all generalizations do, these traits do not apply to every woman, it's just an popular topic I've seen evidence of in my dealing with women. Men have their share of issues too and I don't deny that; however, I've learned how to deal and function around and within them more than I have so far with the female gender.

• It's 2010 and a lot of women argue that they're no longer restricted to gender roles, men and women are now equal, and they don't need no man. However, I tend to find this only applies at their convenience, men are still expected to buy a drink just for the "privilege" of talking to some chick u don't even know (and in her eyes, any friends she brought too), on any casual date it is expected that he will pay (not meaning women paying doesn't happen, but that women paying is still very much a luxury and it's often a victory if she's cool with a split bill). It seems at times as if they believe their money is more valuable than a man's. I've even heard women cite guys they know that are strictly platonic friends who they call only when they want to go out somewhere but not want to spend any of their money and they know he'll pick it up. Men who don't embody the traditional gender role of being a working provider are often ridiculed. I don't think I know a guy who haven't run themselves broke at some point to make sure his lady has a good time; i dunno how many ladies I know who would have done the same.
• I'm not and most likely never will be a huge women's basketball fan. No offense, but I watch sports to marvel at what the athletes can do. I need to see people getting dunked on, catching alley oops, and things of this nature to stay excited. I get called racist when I say this but women don't attend women's bball nearly as much as men's bball either.
  
• I'm very independent and solution-oriented, I was raised that way and that isn't gonna change. It became a character trait that I admire; someone who wants a man rather than just needing one. I don't usually ask for things, that is often my last resort if finding my own answer or solution proves unsuccessful or irrational. I've met women who are the opposite, they'd rather ask than get their hands dirty or make changes to their tough process. After a certain age, reaching out to parents or ur man before attempting to find ur own solutions just ain't right. Life throws obstacles at people, adapting and finding ways to deal with them independently is part of growing up. As Kevin Hart would say "U have to be a part of ur own rescue."
• Shopping is not a hobby. Hobbies are constructive activities that build skills and may or not require money (instruments, supplies, etc). Shopping is the HABIT of spending money on urself. Much different.
• I believe that beautiful women are the most manipulative and privileged (in an everyday action sense) people on the planet. There are so many things that would fly coming from some beautiful woman that would not fly coming from some guy. I've heard women complain about not being bought drinks all night, not getting free, not being able to skip the line and get in free at crowded night spots, not being able to flirt their way out of speeding tickets, even just not getting their way every time they ask for something, and many other things becuz they're used to them. They don't get any sympathy from me becuz unless I have connections, none of those things will happen to me anyway. They take advantage of this objectification but then protest the fact that women are objectified. It's one thing if u're beautiful but u're still down to earth about things and happen to get some perks thrown ur way, that's no problem. But those who purposely flaunt things or act certain ways (flirting, sensual positioning, etc) just to take advantage shouldn't be complaining about being objectified.
• If chivalry is dead (rather than just in a reduced role), then women undoubtedly killed it. Don't complain about lack of chivalry when u don't respect nice guys anymore urself. Chivalry was started becuz it was how u won a lady over, nowadays, it's more likely so send them away, or prompt her to make u the platonic friend she calls when she wants to go out for drinks and get u to pay for them.
• It's interesting to me that both a total lack of self-esteem or an overwhelming sense of self-esteem can both create a monster of out a woman. Too much self-esteem can make a woman unapproachable (even for a regular convo rather than trying holla) and shrewd out of believing they're better than everyone around them. And lack of self-esteem (or self-esteem entirely linked to physical appearance and attention) can manifest itself a lot of different negative ways which we've all seen and I doubt I really have to explain.
• Women making up deep and intricate scenarios in their minds about something that can be explained very simply has begun to annoy me. There are things I've heard women talk about and make up some negative scenario about that I seriously doubt the guy involved even noticed. And then they look at me like I'm crazy if I tell them to fine a way to just ask the guy. I guess they prefer the scenario n rumor game over an explanation, go figure. Men aren't mind readers, talk to us when somethin like this comes up.
  
• Women cheat too, it's not all on us. Honestly, women are a lot better and more efficient at it becuz of the lack of testosterone which causes guys to do extra macho and stupid things.
• The gang mentality that goes on between a lot of women annoys me. While watchin Bad Girls Club at a friend's lady's house, she explained it to me and my friend. Like when there's an argument or something, you automatically have to take sides with ur crew despite how u actually feel about the issue. Ladies, please realize that this 'Absolutist Ultimatum' (the whole "You're either with us or against us" concept) is what every destructive or oppressive force (slave-taking colonists, corrupt bureaucracies, radical political parties, etc) has used to either force compliance or justify attack or alienation. U shouldn't have to deal with that amongst ur friends, keep that in mind. Mentally put urself in the position of both sides of the dispute and then make ur assessment.
• Relationship of not, people need friends. Oftentimes, women kind of disappear from their circle of friends in favor of him. Although I respect this commitment, I think it's too much. And it often causes her to expect him to alienate him from his friends too, which ain't always gonna happen. I feel like people need a few days a wk with their gf/bf, a few days with their friends, and a day or two to themselves. And I'll defend that balance whole heartily.
• "Oh. Well that's different." I've come to hate those words, the justification of BS double standards. If u nag at a guy about something he does when u do the exact same thing, it's not different, it's the exact same thing. Face it. It's hard but I had to learn to admit when I'm wrong about somethin, a lotta women I've met have yet to figure that out.
• Another phrase I've come to hate: "But it's just the way I am." Don't go out being critical of everyone else and wanting ppl to change if u can't deal with criticism. Everybody's shit stinks, if u're critical of ppl, be prepared to hear about urself when u step outta line too. The whole "I can't change, it's just how I am" defense ain't gonna fly.
  

U may think I sound a little sexist, but look at the points objectively and see how many of them u wholeheartedly disagree with. There are women who are exceptions to these points and I love them for that, but they often try to act like these kinds of women are myths that men made up to justify saying these kind of things; they are not. I wrote these out of real life experiences I've had or witnessed. Old gender roles create a condition where women (not all, but many times benefit more from a good relationship than men do. I think a blending of old school gender roles and new age women empowerment is what is necessary for a good, working relationship here in the 2010s. I once sat in a room full of women who all raised their hands when asked "Would u want ur husband to be a stay-at-home husband?" And to this day, I still think at least 90% were lying and wouldn't deal with that situation in reality. I feel like the relationship would b filled with arguments about how he can't make big decisions becuz he's not working and accusations about what he's doing with all his free time. I'm not signing up for that. And in light of the previously mentioned point, any questions about anything I've said should b directed to me and not a circle of female friends who will fill in assumptions for me. Please just ask me. I'll step out on a limb and say that most anyone who reads this will know ppl who fit these descriptions. Stop Me When I Start Lying...

So please, leave me a comment whether u honestly think I'm sexist or just very conscious of differences between the genders. But regardless of wut u say, I've Been Called Worse...

Food for Thought: Happy New Year, the Questions

Happy New Year Everyone, 2009 is gone and it's not coming back. We've entered a new year and a new decade. This is the fourth decade I'll be alive to witness (80s,90s,00s,and 10s) and I'm grateful for that. There are many who did not make it this far. I look at each New Year as an opportunity for each person and consequently the world to make themselves better. But unfortunately there is also the possibility for things to go the other way also. Which is why I'm always left with so many questions for the new decade: both glisteningly positive and darkly negative. Questions that both excite me and scare me senseless. If u r the type to be frightened by such dark questions, don't read any further; these are the "frightening questions" Samuel L. Jackson spoke of in the movie "Pulp Fiction":

From a personal perspective:

• I'm scheduled to graduate in May, will I make it there? Or will I be hit by a bus before I get there?
• Will I get a job doing something meaningful? Or will I become another paper pusher who resents their job everyday?
• Will I actually find love? Or will I stop believing in it all together?
• Will I remain optimistic in my everyday perspective and endeavors? or the 'real world' tarnish my values and view on things?
  
• Most importantly, will I become a man and role model that everyone can be proud of and look up to? Or will I become a disappointment to those who helped me to become the person who I have become?

From a political and global perspective:

• Will we make the breakthroughs in energy necessary to continue our way of life? Or will anarchy arise as the world fights over the last remaining resources?
• Will the US improve its healthcare and education systems to compare with the world's elite? Or will we continue to fall behind other developed countries in these important areas?
• Will we make big strides towards curing AIDS, Cancer and other widespread problems? Or will a new and adaptive epidemic threaten the health of our entire society?
• Will there be movement towards peace in the Middle East? Or will war threaten the most sacred lands in the world?
• Will we able to prevent terrorist and suicide bombers from killing more large numbers of innocent people and unsuspecting soldiers? Or will they have more extravagant tricks up their sleeves that we are not ready for?
• And most importantly, is this the decade that conflicted nations will find some sort of understanding with one another and work towards cooperation and peace? Or will some event spark the apocalyptic nuclear war that could threaten all of mankind?

These questions run through my head and obviously the answers are not available to satiate my curiosity. Therefore all I can do is try to uphold my responsibility towards giving these questions the positive answers rather than the negative. We have a duty before God (whichever is the center of your faith), my family, and everyone else to try to make the world a better place. We as a people must strive to achieve things in the 2010's that I could not in the 2000's or prior. As in the "Six Million Dollar Man" show from the 70s, "We have the technology." The question is, will we use it for the right things? Our future is waiting for the answers...