Do Better: Malaysia, Part One

I named this installment of Do Better a part one because I'm fairly sure more will be coming before I return to the US. Some things that are different here are simply the result of cultural difference. But in some ways, there's no better way to say it than "They're really just fucking up." I'll keep it brief, I wish I had pics of all the stuff. But even though I don't, trust that I'm tellin the truth....

• It's 2010, why are there so many men, young and old, still walking around with their collars popped? What r u on the "Real World" from 2001 or something? Do u hang with the cast from "Saved By the Bell"? The caption on the picture to the right expresses my sentiment; just exchange the word"fag" with "douchebag." I hope his head is turned away from the camera because the cameraman just punched him very hard...
  
• I see at lot of Floyd Patterson and Johnny Unitas haircuts over here. Guys are going to the barbershops and paying money to look like fools. Those haircuts lost popularity in like the late 60's. If u have that now u either hang with Chris Mullens or only live near military barbershops...
  
• Ight, I will start by saying I'm not a big fan of guys in sandals in the first place. However, if u're a guy and u are wearing sandals, u either gotta go with the toe thongs or the ones with the strap going all the way over. I've seen entirely too many guys in sandals that look like they are intended for 5 year old girls (observe picture to right). Looking like u bought them at Rainbow in Freedom Mall (reference for my Charlotte folks). Did they really look at those in the store and combine the two thought "I'm feeling these, I'm buying them" and "These are definitely made for guys." If so, they need prayer...
  
• These different ATMS for different functions are bullshit. U go in a back and there's an ATM lobby with like 6 machines. U can only withdraw cash from two of them, u can't deposit into the same one u're withdrawing from, u can't deposit cash in the same one u can deposit cash into, etc. A serious waste of machinery to me, where's the efficiency? SMH..
  
• If I use the bathroom at night, go to bed, wake up, go to work for 10 hours, and I get back and the bathroom randomly smells terrible (not even like number 2 sustained, but randomly terrible), that means that something about the plumbing is sub-par. I don't wanna have to explain to company that it's not me, it's just the piping in the bathroom. SMH
• Being that locals like to eat traditional Indian or Malay food with their hands sometimes, ample quality soap needs to be located by the sinks. It's bad enough they're slack on both paper towels and toilet paper; toilet paper is sometimes only found by the sinks in place of paper towels
• Speaking of toilet paper, don't think I say 'they don't have toilet paper' as in they're temporarily out of toilet paper. I mean they had no plans of ever having toilet paper. You'll just see a hose, to be used as a poor man's bidet. I was told "it's fun, just make sure u aim before u shoot." I flatly refuse. SMH once again...
• I saw a Black guy, probably African but possibly not, who was bald on 80% of his head and had dreds on his front lobe rubber banded together into a short pony tail. Nuff said. I was trying so hard to get a picture without being blatantly obvious but I couldn't find a way. To be fair, I won't charge that one to Malaysia. That was the monumental failure of one man and one man alone. The phrase "I blame who let you leave the house like that" is a tremendous understatement. I'm mad at him, whoever did his hair, patronized him to boost his confidence, even anyone who was talking to him and ignored the urge to smack him repeatedly; all of the aforementioned ppl deserve to be back-handed, humiliated, and rolled down a mountain in an oil drum filled with fecal matter. I don't know this man but I wept for him...
  

I will inevitably encounter more noteworthy blunders and shameful embarrassments while I am here in Malaysia. And sense I'm judgmental for the sake of comedic value, that means that more of these posts will come. Stay tuned, foreigners trying to imitate Western culture, or even blend it with their own, when they tend to be decades behind in some aspects of fashion or technology becomes hilarious. It's my duty to ridicule them to add humor to my descriptions of my new temporary home....