Do Better: Ray J's Salty Ex Anthem

Brandy's little brother was never a favorite of mine to begin with. I don't know why this munchkin motherfucker is even  famous. He never struck me as an above average artist and God knows he can't act. Yet and still he ended up on TV shows and always proceeded to stink those shits up royalty. I hate his guts and didn't have solid reason why outside of being another relatively talentless famous person who finds a way to make paychecks. But his recent antics, they are more than just cause. He is now in the position so many bitter men have been in where your ex or old fling is now a 'somebody' and has moved on to bigger and better things than you. Kim Khardashian, a relatively talentless beneficiary of the reality TV age herself, was just a pretty face in the Hollywood social crowd until her sex tape with Ray J when viral. Since then, she's become a model, actress (I didn't say a good one), businesswoman, mult-millionaire. She's since dated an NFL player women fight over, was briefly (very) married to an NBA player, and is now with Kanye West, a transcendent music superstar. Who's Ray J dating? Who knows? Better yet, who cares? So what does Ray J's salty ass do? He tries to grab headlines and undermine her current relationship by making a song called "I Hit It First" playing the only card he has in this issue. That's some real weak shit. That's really the only thing that can get you into headlines in 2013? Stop It. News flash: Somebody took Beyonce's virginity...whoever he is, she wouldn't look twice at him now. Security would probably get called on this nigga trying to get within 10 feet of her. Jay's got her as a worldwide icon and entrepreneur  they're among the most powerful couples in the world. Which guy is winning? Same could be said with someone like Gabrielle Union. U think the guy who took her virginity comforts himself by thinking he's better than D-Wade because he got to Gabby first? I hope not; otherwise he's weak as shit too. Would he stand a chance trying to get her back today? Absolutely not. Ray J, let it go. I'm not even a Kim K fan but she's outgrown you and moved onto bigger and better things. Live with it. I'm sure there are still amateur models willing to sleep with you hoping you'll springboard them into the environment to meet some real celebrities (like them women from "For the Love of Ray J" who came on the show pursuing their own celebrity). Keep your mouth shut and move forward, Kanye can squash what little career you have. Do Better...

Some Kinda Way

Disclaimer: If you're a woman I used to date/talk to who complained about my lack of emotion, please stop reading right here. No good can come of you reading this blog entry...

I was never actually sure what the term "some kinda way" really meant; I'm still not sure there is one accepted meaning. I've heard it in a handful of different contexts. But nonetheless, I've found someone that I feel "some kinda way" about. I'm still not really sure how it even happened. I'm usually the dude making fun of "sucker for love" ass dudes, calling em soft or simps. They get open all early, start spending crazy money, jumping through hoops and end up having a woman walk all over them. Let's be clear, I'll never again be a simp, but I'm in a position that's very odd to me right now. This blog is based on displaying the many layers of myself (jock, nerd, musichead, goon, moralist, conspiracy theorist, etc); but noone knew I had an inner romantic, NOT EVEN ME. I feel like one of those dudes in the corny commercials for ED or something.
 I've been dating this woman 2-3 months...I repeat, only 2-3 fucking months... and I'm so blown away that I'm doing things I typically don't do. I've seen so many women use titles to try to control (and at times, terrorize) their men, I've been very careful giving the "girlfriend" title away. We clicked so fast, she had it in a matter of weeks. I've been very anti- long distance relationship because I hated the possibility of being lonely in a relationship. She lives 4 hours away and somehow keeps me company and infatuated anyway; it helps that its driving distance and we see each other every other week. I've always been opposed to letting women leave stuff at my house, her bridesmaid dress and earrings have been here for weeks and I don't mind at all. One time she was here for some days straight, I handed her my spare key so she can come and go as she pleases without even thinking about it; that has never happened previously. I always believed you needed to be serious and deep in before meeting the family; she met mine in less than a month, I met hers a week later. I've since met her best friend, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. I spent all day Easter (church, brunch, dinner) with them. Be reminded, I'm in month 3. I let her plan out MY birthday weekend. Think about that for a minute. I was reading old (like 08) stuff she wrote on her computer to learn more about her and found myself slightly bitter wishing I was the only guy she'd ever had memories with...these actions and thoughts were all previously no-nos. We're acting like we've been together for a year when I hadn't met her when the calender for 2013 changed. I've met and spent time with so many wonderful, beautiful talented women who I truly cared (in some cases, still care) for and was somewhat "hooked on" at some point. It was absolutely nothing like this. That shouldn't be seen as a poor reflection on the women of the past because I cherish my time and experiences with them. But I've hit something uncontrollable in this case; things took off faster than I could've imagined. The word I constantly use is "scary" because I was truly petrified at how quickly things progressed. The old me is still in the back of my mind saying "Slow down homie, how you know she's not playing you? Don't be like some of your boys" But it's like I can't stop. As my friend would say "I've never seen two non-desperate intelligent and attractive people gravitate to each other as fast as you two did."

She has a combination of factors that are somewhat like voodoo to me; it's not the big things - although she is beautiful, intelligent, open-minded, has a nice shape, and a great personality - it's the small things. She's an PhD student who I can talk about all my inner nerd interests with; she's as into some of them as me (we can watch HGTV together all day long). She did something that noone has been able to do for me in years; she made me feel so special on my birthday. She bought me an amazing watch (one of my addictions), she had her family (most of whom I'd only met once/twice before Easter) to make me a lemon birthday cake complete with candles and singing "Happy Birthday". I'm humorous, I'm pretty good at making people laugh, it's a bonus when I'm dating someone who can truly truly make me laugh back. She can make me laugh until my stomach hurts. When I'm having a rough day, she can make all the troubles melt away with just a kiss, a smile, a rub on the back of my head, and a little singing to me; she has an angelic singing voice. In the past, my preferred stress relief method has been slow head; she doesn't even have to. To be clear, slow head is still highly appreciated though; I'm still a man after all. As happy as I am in my relationship, daily I ask myself, "how did this happen to me?" I'm not sappy, I don't commit early. When I've been into a wonderful lady, I often think of them throughout the day. But here I am, going to bed and waking up thinking about this woman. She makes me wanna be better to make sure I deserve her. I see beautiful women while I'm out and say in my mind "Wow, she is gorgeous...she ain't got it like my girl though". I've never truly been in love so I don't know where the line is. But I'm in uncharted waters and I'm hoping I can swim instead of sinking. But even as I'm flailing trying to stay afloat, I'm not sure I've ever been happier.