Real Talk: The Death of a "Phenomenal Woman"

There are a lot of times where the idea for a blog entry hits me but I get distracted or busy and I don't end up posting until days, weeks, or even months later unfortunately. Today is not one of those days. Even though she's been somewhat out of the national spotlight, Maya Angelou's presence was truly a gift to our world. Going through what she went through early in her life (poverty, Jim Crow racism, sexism, molestations, etc.) being successful itself was quite an accomplishment. But even moreso, Angelou become a pillar of strength and dignity inside and outside of the poetry field that she revolutionized. She was recognized at the highest levels (chosen as poet laureate by Bill Clinton, etc) for her craft. But beyond that, what she meant to women - particularly women of color - was immeasurable. In my eyes, she was the ultimate role model and symbol of class and eloquence. In an age where there aren't enough positive role models for young women of color, losing one as influential as Angelou is even more sad. I'm a man but the poem "Phenomenal Woman" has stuck with me since I first read it some 15-20 years ago; I can only imagine what it meant to young girls. They say a library is burned down every time a wise elder dies; that phrase has never before
resonated with me as much as it does today. Rest in Peace amongst the other angels Sister Maya Angelou, you will be missed.

Do Better: Donald "The Dinosaur" Sterling Fucking Up

There's enough people re-hashing everything the Clippers owner said on the tape that now has people of all races requesting his dismissal as the team's owner. Everyone has re-hashed how deplorable his bigoted, racist, sexist antics have been. So I won't bother you with that again. I'll tell you simply the different ways that he just royally fucked up. I'll pull in a dark-skinned Black man, actor Bill Dukes, to help me make my point:

The secret's out:  We know he's not alone in his mind state sadly. He's from an era when rich white men could look down on, exploit, and mistreat minorities, women, or the poor without anyone thinking twice of it. He's paid his way out of having to fess up many times before; this time he got set up and caught. At least the other old bigots and racists learn to dust their tracks.

• Worse possible timing: He's been the laughing stock of the league for years and his franchise was branded undesirable to go to. They had just started making ground shedding his reputation as an cheap, out-of-touch, racist, sexist bastard because his team is now a legit title contender and a trendy destination. And the Lakers are in a downturn, so the opportunity is there. Now he's on the verge of being abandoned by his fans, coaches, and players.
• His dick got him in trouble: Yep, even at 80. Sterling's lawyer claimed that the woman who released the tape, his half-Black, half-Mexican mistress V. Stiviano, was trying to get him back for the lawsuit his family had against her. Well, SHE GOT HIS ASS. She pressed "record" and provoked him and he fell in the trap quickly.
• Forgot where he came from: He grew up poor and working with lower to lower middle class people in law. Now he's rich and maintains such feelings thinking that his money makes him bulletproof. Rich ppl cut ties with rich ppl who are "bad for business" quickly. You may have made yourself a lepper professionally.
• Using slave master language: His language about how he gives his players food, houses, and cars sounded much like how I'd imagine a slave master would highlight that his actions are justified by the food and shelter he provided the free labor on his plantation. Like I can only associate with the Black people I'm exploiting for money, noone else. I can only guess who Chris Paul felt hearing that.
• And most importantly...
• Wrong sport, wrong place, wrong time: You decided to buy an NBA team (the least white of the major sports leagues), which he moved from San Diego to Los Angeles (one of the most multi-cultural cities in the world). In 2014, you're trying to make ur multi-cultural girlfriend stop associating with basketball royalty like Magic Johnson? WTF? If you bought a hockey team and moved it to Idaho, you might not have these problems.

It's 2014 and the world has changed a great deal since the heyday of the mindset Sterling has illustrated to the world this week. Especially if he wants to keep young girlfriends who grew up in a more progressive world. The commissioner can't just snatch his team from him, but they need to find a way to add pressure or have a vote to get him out. Sponsors are leaving, fans are leaving, players and coaches may leave when their chance comes and he's turned a city against him that he was just starting to see slant his direction over the Lakers. Now ppl are waiting for you to be removed from his position whether by force, sale, or his death (sad but true). Take a bow you dinosaur, you've made quite a bed for yourself this time. I hope you're faced to sell it to Magic Johnson of all people and he spits in ur face right after the contract is signed. Do Better...

My Complicated Progressive Christianity

DISCLAIMER: Orthodox Christians, read at your own risk, my perspectives might strike you as blasphemous and piss you off.

I recently watched the movie "God's Not Dead", in which a college freshman is forced to philosophically battle his Atheist professor about whether God exists or not with his grade on the line; it's a very good, I'd recommend it. I was proud to see that it was based on actual debates at US schools including Georgia Tech, my alma mater. It got me thinking about my faith. I'm a proud Christian and I try to thank God ever morning that I'm lucky enough to wake up. However, as I get older, I'm very aware of how complicated some of my stances are; maybe more complicated than orthodox Christians would tolerate. I'm acutely aware that, as the movie character learned, proving what you believe is not easy. It doesn't waiver my belief at all, I would try to explain rather than denying my Lord and Savior; I believe that stance would hold up even in dire circumstances. But it makes some things harder to explain to non-believers. After all, many atheists study the Bible intensely seeking to disprove it; unfortunately I don't know it as well as I should. My progressive and tolerant attitude towards the world puts me at odds with many things that orthodox Christian use the religion to condemn or alienate. The Bible is full of testimonies, events, and lessons that help followers follow a path towards living life "right". My core system of values stems from my faith. But at the same time, I can't ignore that this was also written thousands of years ago my men trying to document the words/actions of the divine; by flawed men. I have a hard time taking everything in its text word for word. For instance, my perspective on gay marriage/civil unions infuriates people. If someone was raised in a traditional and Christian home, tried to lead a heterosexual life, and realized that they just weren't attracted to the other sex on a hormonal level, I'm not gonna knock them. If they want to live a committed monogamous lifestyle, they should get the same benefits (insurance, etc.) as a traditional marriage in my opinion. Thousands of years ago, science did not understand hormones; homosexuality would get you thrown out of your family or even killed if found out. So ppl hid it and faked a regular life; some still do. I went to school in Atlanta, where there's been a large "down low" population, who are faking normal lifestyles and cheating with the same sex on the side; I don't how forcing that situation in the name of religion is better. Furthermore, I have a hard time taking relationship advice directly from the Bible. From reading history, teenagers were forced into strategical arranged marriages to unite compatible families just hundreds of years ago or less. What were marriages like in Bible times? I have a hard time believing that someone enduring that relationship dynamic would provide any useful information for my current dating situations. I don't believe that science and faith are enemies as many would argue. I can see how the two can mesh to provide a more full view of the truth; after all neither one answers every question. Just because the Big Bang Theory is popular doesn't mean it sounds entirely believable to me. Or the thought that in a relatively short amount of time geologically, all being evolved into so many species from the same single-cell organism but then slowed down enough that humans aren't splintering into different strains nowadays. And these theories are supposed "scientifically" viable. I don't have an issue with other religions, I don't see it as an adversarial relationship that many do. To me, the act of believing in a divine power is more important than the particulars that you believe. I'm a proud Christian, but I can get along with other faiths. After all, I lived in a Muslim country for years, but found a Christian church there. Now, I have work to do with my faith. I'm ashamed to say I've been very inconsistent in making it out of bed and into the Church for terrible reasons; sometimes I've blown too much money and I don't have that 10% and I don't want to enter the Lord's house empty handed. Don't judge me, I told you I'm ashamed, but it's happened. I'm a work in progress, but I want the progress. As Black Thought from The Roots once rhymed "the devil wants me as is, but God, he wants more." I'm now with somebody who is on the same page as me about the need for faith in the life we hope to share. There is some sinning that I do that to be honest, I don't see much chance of stopping cold turkey; something else that wouldn't sit well with many in my religion. But I'm being honest, 2014 life and the Christian life as laid out by the Bible interact in a very curious way. But life has the task of navigating that. Just don't LOSE God altogether when you're trying to make it through the rough parts of figuring out life. I've lived a liberal lifestyle and probably got too far away at times. I've got work to do to get where I want to me. And I admit my logical overthinking ways and liberal spirit may have overcomplicated by Christianity. But I've never stopped wanting God in my life and never stopped wanting to make God proud. Judge me by that, not the details. It's complicated...

Real Talk: Using Athletes to Break Down the Barriers of Racial Understanding

Thank you Richard Sherman, DeSean Jackson, LeBron James, and so many others, you've helped me to start some conversations that our great nation needs so many more of. Racism still exists, but I argue that it's not the biggest problem between anymore, the biggest problem is unconscious discomfort and dismissiveness due to misunderstanding. I'm a young Black man who went to middle and high school in the hood (although my parents were able to move us out of that) and has friends from all walks of life; by being around different people you understand different people and learn how you fit into things. I now work in somewhat of a corporate setting and some of my co-workers are from the most affluent and least diverse upbringings imaginable. I get along with everyone and they see me as a peer, but from time to time I'm reminded that they just fundamentally do not understand much of what I've been through, much less what those truly from less fortunate backgrounds deal with in life. When such a subject comes up, I feel an obligation to speak for speak for a population they shun and will never willing be within 1000 feet of that they're acting bigoted towards because they don't understand them and have dismissed them as lost causes; even when they're completely wrong. For instance, it was laughable that Richard Sherman was being called a thug (and other worse racial epithets) after his emotional interview in the immediate aftermath of making essentially a game-winning play to send his team to the Super Bowl. With the exception of those who immediately went racial, I'd assume those who haven't been around young Black males or around football players were largely uncomfortable with this level of aggressiveness and decided he had to be a thug. No, he's a football player, who plays a position that all but requires over-confident, in the heat of the moment. He's was a young man strong to beat the odds and make it from a very bad neighborhood (between Watts and Compton, in South L.A.) to Stanford (where he had a 3.9 GPA) and then the NFL. He's hired by Sports Illustrated as a writer on the side. This isn't a bad apple; those who dismissed him were unequivocally wrong. But they wouldn't call the hockey players who started off a game by throwing down their sticks as fighting such a strong word when they fit the definition. Upon cutting DeSean Jackson, someone in the Eagles organization apparently told the media that part of the reason was his ties to gangs or gang members. My co-worker tried to convince me that if he was from such a bad neighborhood, he'd move his family away from there and never go back. He went as far as to say he'd take off running the other way if he ever saw anyone from his old neighborhood. Really? No giving back to your community? No trying to help more kids make it out? No going home...ever? Taking off running from a high school teammate? Furthermore, isn't instantly moving and paying for dozens of people one of the major ways athletes cited as going broke on the "30 for 30" special "Broke"? That's not a sound financial decision. When life hands you a raw deal as a kid, those who help you navigate and make it through that form a bond with you that should last a lifetime. Like I said, I lived in a decent area but went to school with "undesirables" and I tell people that they were part of the reason I didn't get involved in anything bad; despite teenage curiosities, they shielded me from that because I had the potential for much more. I'm sure DeSean Jackson has similar more dramatic stories. I have former teammates who went the wrong direction and friends behind bars or dead. Like me, he has to be careful about exactly how he interacts with them now and it might not be appropriate for you to be rolling with them how you once did. But if I was a celebrity and I ran into them, I'd dap them up, if they wanted a picture, I'd take a picture with them, I might let them sit at my table at a restaurant and chat it up. But that would be it. You show love. But those raised among the rich don't get that because A) the rich are quick to shun or forget someone else if they fall of the pace of their rich peers, and B) they may never have to deal with someone from DeSean Jackson's background. I have these conversations because even if they don't agree, even if having their perspective makes them mad, I want them to physically hear the other perspective from someone they respect as a peer. Then I use the LeBron example. LeBron is a kid from the projects of Akron who became the best ball player in the world, did he turn his back on his childhood friends? No, he kept them close and put them to work. One of his teenage friends, Rich Paul, is now his agent and quickly becoming one of the most powerful agents in the NBA. They don't get more famous and successful than where LeBron is now, but rather than shunning Akron; he brought them to the top with him. And they're not ghetto, they're not freeloading leaches, or just a useless social entourage, they're legit, they're earning the place they were given at the table. So he's allowing others from a less fortunate situation to make it because he has made it; he's opening up new avenues, which is powerful. That doesn't happen if you're quick to turn your back to them. So even if my coworkers don't agree, I want them to hear it said by a peer and it bouncing around in their minds, because that's at least a step towards understanding. And that also is powerful and we need more of that everywhere. Real Talk...

Stop Me When I Start Lying: Golf losing its faces

In the wake of Bubba Watson's 2nd Majors win (and awesome celebration dinner at Waffle House), it's becoming apparent: golf may be in trouble. Not from a talent standpoint, but from a national appeal and attention standpoint. Watson, Rory McIlroy (being flicked by current face of golf in picture above), Jordan Spieth, Adam Scott, and others have the talent to be good for a long time. But if noone becomes dominant or (darker option) divisive, who's gonna watch them instead of binge watching shows on their DVR on Sunday? Tiger Woods has been the polarizing but undoubted face of the sport for 15 years or so now. He was so good he changed all the expectations of golfers; he's still #1 in the world and won more than any other golfer last year despite the public acting like me may be done. He created intrigue from being a young Black phenom in an elitist sport to a mysterious car crash and about 700 women bragging that they took a swing on his 9 iron. For a million different reasons - including his dominance, physique, his temper, his race, his tabloid personal life, etc. - Tiger has brought a million different eyes to the sport that weren't watching before. As an African-American male, I'll admit I am more interested in golf (for watching and as a hobby) now than I was before Tiger started dominating; after all, it's a sports that's never seemed very inviting to people of color. But beyond race, plenty of people of all demographics became more interested in golf either to marvel at him or root against him. In a sport that's run by filthy rich middle-aged elitist country club white guys, Tiger didn't look, act, or sound like them. He was kicking their asses though; some liked that, some couldn't stand it. It seemed to invite "outsiders" in, at least as fans or weekend players if not pros. But even past Tiger, the #2 draw was also unquestioned, Phil Mickelson has been the left-handed good guy chasing Tiger's top spot. Even if you rooted against him for Tiger, it's hard not to like Phil. He just seems like a great guy. But he's 43 and Tiger is a physically beaten down 38, meaning both of their primes are in the rear view mirror. So who's taking the torch? Rory looked set to do it: young, talented, famous athlete girlfriend, commercials with Tiger, etc. But then he follows up winning majors with virtual "no shows" missing cuts and such. Until he becomes consistently good, "Rory McIlroy Golf" isn't gonna sell EA Sports video games like "Tiger Woods Golf" has. I like that Bubba Watson gives off the image of a non-elitist; after all he goes by Bubba, makes silly music videos, and follows up majors wins with celebration meals at Waffle House. But is his name and face gonna get kids to buy golf video games over Call of Duty? And he's quietly almost as old Tiger. They released the ratings for the Masters today and they're down a solid 35% from just last year. And I don't see it turning back the other way unless something big happens soon. Although I think Tiger and Phil have a bit left in the tank, at this moment golf seems (alongside boxing) as sports that are in a countdown to losing the stars that have fueled the sports' relevance in recent history. You might not like that I said it, but Stop Me When I Start Lying...

My Inner Conspiracy Brother: The Disappearing Plane

It's been a while but it's a good time for my Inner Conspiracy Brother to rear his skeptical head and speak on this enigmatic situation. To most people I know, I'm the only person they've ever meet who's actually been to Malaysia; I used to live in Kuala Lumpur, the origin city of the "disappeared" plane. On the surface - in a non-conspiratorial though process - I could get past the simple question, "How the hell did you lose a 777 plane holding 200+ people?" That's one hell of a fucking magic trick.  How is that possible with all the tracking technology surrounding us? We have satellites could find hollow caves housing terrorist cells in the caves of the Middle East, but we're not keeping up with commercial jets mid-flight? What if a plane is flying from London to NYC at the same time there's a plane flying from NYC to London during a storm? Are they gonna crash because traffic controllers can't track them? Obviously the government of Malaysia is offering far-fetched answers because the spotlight is too bright for "I don't know" answers; but it's pretty fucking clear they don't really know. I was drawing a blank... but then I put on my conspiracy cap and ideas came to me quickly. The plane's black box (which holds the valuable data about the plane's travel and performance) was turned off? I doubt your average airline passenger knows where that is or how to disable that. According to reports, the plane had drastic changes in elevation and direction. But yet, the pilots did not explain the situation to any nearby traffic controller before supposedly crash landing the plane into the Indian Ocean? One of the pilots had been handling his personal life in an inexplicably erratic fashion the week before the flight? Smells like an inside job. The pilots, crew, possibly the nearest air traffic controller (ATC) seem the only people with the expertise to execute such a plan. What if there were someone important onboard that some powerful institution wanted silenced? There are many theories that this is what happened for former Secretary of Commerce Ron Brown and the mysterious plane crash that killed him and 34 others in Croatia. Or what if the plane did not crash at all? That's possibly the scariest possibility of this all, it could be a lot of places. It could be sitting in a shed in Indonesia under the control of someone who plans to use it in a devious manner in the future. If the 239 people didn't die in the plane but hadn't contacted their families, that would indicate to me that they're captives or have been executed. Is this why other non-nearby countries such as America and Japan are assisting in the search? Are they concerned about possible consequences of not finding it? This is so cold blooded to say but at this point, the best (best feasible anyway) scenario for our safety is that the reports are correct and through no malicious action, the plane crashed into the ocean signalling an immediate demise to the plane passengers and crew. As I shake my head at myself for the last sentence, lemme take a moment to explain: at least then, the plane is not being tampered with for use to kill thousands (a la 9/11). I wish there were a feasible scenario where these people are like and chilling somewhere, but I don't see it.  Am I being cruel or overly calculating? Maybe, I don't know, think what you want. I've Been Called Worse...

Do Better: NFL players f***king up with women

I'm lost on this. More people wanna talk about the Dolphins bullying and Michael Sam the gay prospect instead of some serous character flaws in successful current and former players. Maybe it's just me, if I feel like I need to put hands on my lady, I'm probably gonna "cancel her" (Nino Brown quote) before going Kimbo Slice on her. Plus because of my mom's crafty personality, I grew up believing my mom would get my dad back in his sleep if he ever put hands on her; I took that to heart. So when I saw the video of Ravens running back Ray Rice dragging his fiance out of the elevator of a casino after (allegedly) knocking her out cold. I've heard of couples having a fight cutting each other up a little bit, but she looked sleep like Manny Pacquiao after the Marquez fight. She looked like a World Star Hip Hop fight comp victim or something while he looked very non-chalant while dragging her (not carrying her, not throwing her over his shoulder, but dragging) and setting her on the hallway floor face down. I'll be the first to admit: I don't know what she did, she might have been just as culpable in things getting physical but yet and still, it's on you as a young Black man (much less a rich, recognizable young Black man) to keep the situation contained. If she's hitting you (which I don't condone either, women gotta stop using the "I'm a woman" excuse to beat the shit out of a dude) grab her to restrain her or something. Shit looks bad for Ray Rice right now. And following a subpar season anyway, you may have really fucked up. And now (drum roll please)...Darren motherfucking Sharper. ***closes eyes, shakes head*** I don't know where to start. The 'fine ass' (as reported by several women over the years) retired football player is accused of drugging and raping up to about 10 women in a few different states. They're calling this man a serial rapist. I'll repeat: he's "fine", in shape, famous, former athlete, well off (if not still str8 up rich) with a TV commentator position and you're drugging women and stealing the pussy? Are you fucking kidding me?? If you have any semblance of charm or personality (he got hired to be commentator after all), women should be throwing the box at you. Look above, this dude pulled Gabrielle Union back in the day for God's sake. How the fuck you go from that to stealing the box from everyday women? Are you drugging the few who say no? Are you drugging them to save time talking them up? I don't fucking understand. I realize these situations are still in the investigation stage and I may be jumping to early conclusion. But (excuse my N-word), these violating ass niggas need a preemptive Do Better...