Friday, November 6, 2009

Stop Me When I Start Lying: Eve Screwed Adam Over

For this installment of Stop Me When I Start Lying, I wanna shed some light on my opinion of the Biblical story of the devil's temptation and human betrayal. This has come up quite a bit in the last year or two when discussing distrust with women. They always speak to me about what i like to call "Ain't Shit" niggas who betray their trust and walk the Earth gooning like there's no tomorrow. Even though I agree with them about these types, they act like I'm in the wrong when I discuss craziness and untrustworthy traits I've seen in women my age that has raised my guard about these things. So I often have to reference this Biblical story to illustrate my point. It may sound outrageous right now, but it'll be clearer in a minute.
Background (Opinion-free, as it is told):
God created Adam, the world's first man, and created Eve from his rib. He placed them in the Garden of Eden and told them to live and be happy with only one stipulation. The stipulation is that there was one tree in the entire garden that they could not eat from under any circumstances. One day, the devil - in the form of a serpent in the forbidden tree - tempts Eve into taking and biting an apple from the tree. She then takes the forbidden fruit to Adam and he bites it too. Then as they have violated God, they feel naked and try to hide themselves. However, God knows what they have done and punishes them. And this is the first example of human nature and temptation from the "forbidden fruit." Upon further review, this gave me some questions:
What the fuck was this chick doing anywhere near the forbidden tree??
The Garden is full of fruits, plants, berries and other food for Adam and Eve to eat. 99.999% of the Garden is perfectly fine to eat from, more than enough for them. Hell, it's only two of them in the whole garden plus the animals. WHAT THE HELL WAS EVE DOING ANYWHERE NEAR THAT DAMN TREE??? If Adam knew then what I know now, he should have put an electric invisible fence perimeter around that tree and put the collar on Eve so she'd be stopped in her tracks if she got too close. If men are supposed to be the ones who can't deal with temptation, how come Eve is the one who couldn't follow directions from God, the utmost authority figure.
What kinda game did the devil spit to get her to eat the apple??
I don't exactly blame her for falling for the devil's tricks, becuz I know his talk game had extra tight, like Pimpin Ken drinking Hennessy tight. I think her biggest mistake was going over there and entertaining a talking serpent when it came her way. But either way, I wonder what he said. My guess would be somethin like this: "Ay sweet thing, check me out a minute. I know y'all have been eating apples from these other trees cuz that's what God told u, but that's cuz he's holding out. He's just trying to save these apples for himself cuz he knows how good they are. U take a bite of one of these, it might make u a little bit wet downstairs if u know what I mean. U gotta try it. Just take one, it'll grow back, he won't even know." I guess it's his job to b smooth as hell.
After u've messed urself up eatin the apple, why go back and get Adam in trouble to0??
I honestly believe that she didn't tell him where she got it from. The text doesn't say she told him where it came from, so knowing how some women tend to deal with their wrongdoing, I don't believe she told him. A lot of women have trouble saying "I fucked up" and taking personal responsibility; common reactive practices are throwing out unrelated dirt to taint others' character or in this case, trying to get others involved in the same wrongdoing. She knew he would trust her becuz they're the first two people ever, he had no way of knowing that people were capable of being dishonest; he had nobody to warn him or anything. My guess is she probably said something like this when she went to him "Hey baby, i got a surprise for you. Remember that great apple we had a few days back, well this one is WAY better. You HAVE to take a bite."

Counterarguments I've hear from women:
That's his fault, why didn't he ask her where it came from??
Really?? When u live in the Garden of Eden, a huge garden full of food, and u probably eat together multiple times a day (y'all are the only two people after all), I think u'd get pretty damn tired of askin her each and every time where she got it from. If she was standing right beside him when God told them to stay away from it, why would he assume that she would pluck some fruit from that tree. That would violate common sense.
That's his fault, he should've gotten his own apple. What was he doing eating hers?? There must have been something else going on.
I won't call her by name, but a family member of mine tried to twist this into some argument about him being punished for having sex with Eve which made him susceptible to being manipulated by her. She went on to say something about him being too nice to her becuz he must not have been hungry or he would have gotten his own apple, so he got burned for being so generous. Although I understand through experience now that men can get burned by being too nice to women, Adam did not have this experience; so what reason does he have not to be nice to the only other person he's in contact with everyday? And furthermore, that opens up a whole other question about what it is about women that makes them shit on a nice guy's generosity.

So, for the record (becuz my words have been twisted when I explain that my guard his high becuz of my past experiences with crazy women), I am not saying that all women are dishonest/manipulating/conniving, BUT ur gender did start the trait in the Genesis book of the Bible. Delilah and Cleopatra screw their dudes over too, also not doing female credibility any favors. Therefore, I believe there is a high enough percentage (not a majority, but a high enough percentage) that justifies me keeping my guard up when I first meet a woman. I've seen many cases of the face and persona she presents me not being anywhere near the true face and persona that her family and friends know. And it can be shocking, ugly, and disappointing when she takes down that fascade and shows her the real you. So, take it from a man who has been burned by his own trust/generosity towards the female gender, until they earn some trust don't trust em as far as u can throw em. Stop Me When I Start Lyin...

P.S. Lemme be clear: I still love women, I've just become more of a realist as I've become more tarnished by the world. U may think I sound sexist. Whatever, I've Been Called Worse...

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