Monday, September 27, 2010

Food for Thought: The Questions, Ignant Edition

All this time blogging coupled with the fact that I have to stay censored in my new blogs is making me feel repressed a little. Therefore, my ignant (yep, not even the whole word) side is yearning to speak out a little bit. My inner goon has been 'patiently waiting for a track to explode on' like 50 Cent. So this blog is coming straight from the roots of my Riley Freeman. So if u're squeamish, can't handle adult content, or would rather believe that this side doesn't exist in me, this is where u should stop reading. It's about to get graphic. These are some of the questions that many people think, but no one is able to ask because of public opinion...
  • How to fat people have sex? There just seems like there's too much damn meat in the way. So much work to get so little accomplished. Probably sounds like two walruses fighting too. SMH.
  • Why can't a lot of these chicks just admit that they're slightly bi-curious? If u're a chick and u're 'intrigued' with the idea of going to a strip club, u wanna c famous female celeb nude pics more than I do, and say stuff like "Wow she's cute. If I was a guy, I'd do her" then something is going on. It's not a problem. U can't be real with others until u real with urself
  • Y r the dudes who are the absolute worst at 'pulling out' the ones that swear by raw dogging; even with random chicks? If I hear one more dude who I know has had an unintentional kid (or multiple) or an STD (drip dick is no joke) say 'My dick don't like condoms', I may back hand him with my fingers open. Antonio Cromartie from the Jets got 8 kids by 7 women. Nigga, that's not a coincidence. Was is it worth it?
  • If u have a high tolerance when u drink (like me), does that mean ur blood alcohol level stays low longer, or u're just better at functioning with a high BAC? I need to know this for possible DUI situations in the future.
  • How nasty/kinky can you get with a chick you actually care about before it becomes disrespectful? As I watch porn sometimes (don't act like you don't), I wonder if u can keep a chick as ur main lady after u know she'll lick ur asshole or give me head after doing her in the butt. I just don't know if I can ever come close to kissing her again.
  • Speaking of putting mouths in places, if u're a chick and I give u oral, y r u so reluctant to kiss me afterwards? If u don't trust where how clean ur pussy is, I probably made a wrong decision going down on ur nasty ass. I need mouth watch and a tongue scraper immediately. U may get a douche bag in the mail and may not get a call back.
Last one for the night, a lotta ppl wanna know the answer to this one:
  • Why do wives/girlfriends have such a big problem with their dudes going to a strip club with the boys every once in a while? I could see if it was a massage parlor with the happy ending. Or if he was spending the rent money. If a couple times a year, he wanna see some new T&A and talk some shit over drinks with the boys, what r u afraid of? Dudes - well, most, well, some dudes - aren't stupid enough to leave their good situation over a stripper. Chill out, he just receive some rubs, a motorboat or two and he'll come home. The loving may even be amazing that night. Who knows...
Short and sweet, think on those a little once u stop laughin. Did I cross some lines? Maybe, who knows. Was I a little blunt or harsh in places? Possibly. The better question is what will you think after I tell this Bishop Eddie Long joke. A few years ago, Bishop Eddie "The Thundercat Seducer (Allegedly)" Long was on a song of Ludacris's called "Freedom of Preach" and used a line that has adopted new meaning in the last few days as this scandal arose. He said "I may have done what they say I did, but I'm not who they say I am." Not such a smooth line anymore. Game recognize game, Bishop, and u looking kinda unfamiliar right now. Am I a Jerk cuz that was too soon? Whatever, I've Been Called Worse. Kanye Shrug. Nah, fuck that, Michael Jordan shrug...

No comments:

Post a Comment