Saturday, August 10, 2013

Stop Me When I Start Lying: Riley and Miley: He Says Nigger While She Can't Stop Twerkin'

That's right motherfucker, I'm talking about Riley (Cooper) and Miley (Cyrus) in the same article. In the past decades, hip-hop culture and pop culture have converged. Many white people who grew up in all white environments - these two included - had a choice whether to embrace, ignore, respectfully abstain, or resent the overwhelming subculture the Black community created. These two are case studies in different options. For those who don't know, Riley Cooper (from Oklahoma City, OK and then Clearwater, FL) is a backup wide receiver for the Philadelphia Eagles. At a country music concert at the stadium Cooper was denied backstage access by a Black security guard and was caught on camera saying "I'll fight every nigger in here." Let's break this down: 1) Why the fuck should Riley Cooper have backstage access without proper passes? He's an Eagle, but he ain't no damn star; this wasn't Michael Vick. The guard probably had no fucking idea who he was or why he thought he was so important. He might as well have let my ass back stage, I'm as readily recognizable as Riley Cooper. The guard was just doing his job. 2) I guess since it was a country concert (one of few nigger-free functions in Philly), Riley thought he could let his hair down and unleash the inner racist he's forced to hold inside at work with no 2013? Yo dumb ass, cameras are everywhere, even though your a backup. 3) Before anyone starts the "he can say it since you Black say it" conversation, let me explain my take on that. If he was caught reciting rap lyrics, using it as a term of endearment among his Black friends, or anything else that I could call "a product of coming up in Black culture", it wouldn't necessarily be acceptable but it would be somewhat understandable. But he used it in the pissed slave master sense; like "how dare you nigger disobey me and stop me from doing what I want to? I'll whip you and every other nigger in here." He's gonna have a hard time trying to get anyone to believe that he's never used that word before and he has no hard feelings towards Black people. My conclusion: He was never fully comfortable with/accepting of Black people or the subculture we spawned. He's learned to co-exist with Black people but always had some feelings of disdain/resentment towards them inside which he let slip out. He's supremely fucked up. He's an expendable player in a 70% Black sport in one of the biggest, Blackest cities in America for a team that needs success without distractions. You've lost the trust of your teammates (and many of the notoriously harsh Philly fans) and now depend on their professionalism to co-exist and perform well with you. The fact that his coach, his owner, and even the league's commissioner didn't take a stand on the issue at all is bullshit in its own right, but that's a story for another day. He better keep his head down and ball out or he might be the most athletic worker in a Sam's Club stock room this time next year.
On the other hand, you have Hannah Montana herself. Cyrus, who grew up on a 500 acre farm in Tennessee before making it to Hollywood as a Disney child star, has hit the age where she's rebelliously finding her identity as a grown up rock star. Like many child stars, she has found the "bad boy/girl" temptation-filled lifestyle appealing now than the heavy parent-protected life of innocence and wholesomeness that they came up in. What's interesting is some of the hobbies and friends she's picked up along the way. In addition to the rock star hair, the provocative clothes, and the overall newfound edginess, she has become infatuated with a product of early-2000's club style hip-hop: Twerking. That's right, the dance style born in Africa, refined by the modern stripper/video chick, and popularized by a hip-hop culture that is enamored with watching and feeling (with their pelvic region) the different ways women can shake the meat on the lower half of their bodies. She was probably behind stage on the set of "Hannah Montana" watching Ying Yang Twins and Two Short videos when her parents weren't looking. Now that her country singer dad isn't lording over her and her weight has made it into the triple digits (hopefully) she thinks she has enough meat to take part in it herself. For the record, I've seen the videos, she may be American's most popular twerker right now, but she lacks the meat in her ass/thigh/hamstring area to be an All-Star at the craft; she gets points for her effort though. Hell, she got sarcastically shouted out by Jay-Z about and that fucker's in his 40s. She's popped up on stage at a Juicy J concert to show off her new 'skill' and probably searches for rappers to party with instead of her former Disney contemporaries and some less twerk-friendly music. My conclusion: Like much of young white America, she wants to be not only Black, but borderline hood because she thinks its cool. But she's overdoing it, you can't go from Taylor Swift to Rihanna overnight. Although she clearly accepts and enjoys hip hop culture, but as Jay-Z has said a good little Disney white girl turned bad (and/or ratchet) in the spotlight is among America's worst nightmares. Although it's not what I want when I talk about a truly diverse and accepting country, Miley entertains me. Hell, I can't imagine how middle America is gonna panic when some Black entertainer or athlete starts stretching her pussy out. Call me vile for the last sentence if you want, but Stop Me When I Start Lying...

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