My Inner Goon: Ignant Thoughts Sept 27th

Some days, ss I sit at work, My Inner Goon takes over for a while. I start thinking of porn, the crazy ads on the sides of any website with even mildly sexual pictures on it, my sexual experiences and more and start thinking;these are some of the things that are running through my mind:

• How terribly small does your dick have to be for you to need the 4-6 inch male enhancement that they advertise in the commercials? Are there that many men out there with a Vienna Sauage for a dick? Shameful.
• Since the invention of sex, how many potential kids have been wasted via condoms, pull outs, cumshots, swallowers, anal creampies, masturbation and other non-conceiving disposals? The number is probably astronomical; just seeing it on paper would probably make my head hurt. Lol

• · Uncircumsized penises scare me; they look like some kind of sea monster or something. As a guy, when you watch porn, your attention is fully on the woman, the guy is like a prop that just happens to be there; so for something on him to be so distracting that it takes your attention and startles you, means it’s some truly upsetting shit.

  · Hood or not, Keyshia Cole is fine as shit to me. Period, I’d be sitting up in the house trying to deal with the crazy as family if I could make that mine

  · Rihanna – despite the big forehead, laundry list of celebs she’s slept with (Jay-Z, Drake, J. Cole, Breezy, Eminem, Andrew Bynum, Matt Kemp, etc), and craziness Trini side (she broke a glass over her brother’s head over a petty argument and likely provoked some of Breezy’s wrath when they got physical) – could bear my children. Period.

  · Since seeing her naked and without make-up (surprisingly unimpressive), Scarlett Johannsen is at risk of being knocked off of my already short “Beckys I would not only sleep with, but bring home to my mother” list. Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba are still safe; everyone else is up in the air, especially since Angelina is about 75 lbs these days

  · Physically, Beyonce’s only weakness has been her relatively small breasts. Therefore, she’s gonna be ridiculously dope right after delivery while she still has those big lactated titties. It’s gonna be mind blowing. Mercy, mercy, mercy

  And that's just a few minutes of brainstorming. LOL. This has been another sneak peek at My Inner Goon...

Things U May Not Guess

Don’t judge a book by it’s cover (I’m not even sure what my cover tells people these days), but here are some things you may not guess about me:

• I was an Eagle Scout
• I got in trouble with my college’s Dean of Students...a few times
• I truly believe I could be happily married within the next 4 years or so if the right woman and right situation come along
• I didn’t really know how to speak to/attract women at all until I was about 17 years old
• I earned multiple full academic scholarships to very good schools (Florida A&M, Morehouse, etc.), which I turned down for my full athletic scholarship to Georgia Tech
• I’ve cheated on a college final before (didn’t get caught); it wasn’t the plan, but a classmate made it too convenient to turn down
• I’ve never smoked cigarettes of weed in my life; the only thing I’ve ever smoked is hookah
• I started drinking at 14 years old
• I was a senior in high school when I lost my virginity...to a girl I came to find was a complete slut
• I’ve slept with a married woman...and her dick-chasing roommate (long, complicated story)
• I look at 3-4 different news sources from different continents daily
• I also watch porn or explicit pictures almost daily
• I used to be somewhat shy with low self-esteem about my appearance
• I’m seen as a hard head and cocky guy in Malaysia; they’re not very familiar with young people who are willing to think for themselves and stand up to others over their beliefs
• I’ve been to 8 different countries on 2 different continents
• I, like many of my friends, have had a ‘pregnancy scare’; However, I am now convinced that the broad was lying to get back together with me (another long story)
• I’ve never slept with a chick that was not at least half Black

If any of these shocked you, I will just say don't judge me. Even if u do, so what. I've Been Called Worse...

Stop Me When I Start Lying: Sexual Evolution

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