A Robbery, Straight Ninja Style

I can now confirm the presence of ninjas in Malaysia. After a night drinking (not drinking too much), I was on the way home at about 3am and I was a bit fatigued; it had been about a 10.5 hour workday before. I had dropped the lady off who I was drinking with, was about 2 minutes from being home and got to a red light which was a bit long. I dosed off for maybe one and a half minutes or so. I woke up to the sound of someone knocking gently on my car window telling me to wake up. Slightly bewildered and intoxicated, I wake up, look around and finish driving home. I get home a couple minutes later and as I'm leaving the car, I realize my iPod touch is no longer in the adapter holder plugged into my cigarette lighter. I searched the car a little bit more, then it hit me....I WAS ROBBED, BY SOMEONE AS STEALTH AS A FUCKING NINJA. That alcohol dose-off isn't some really hard dose off, even a gentle sound usually would wake you up from that. So you're telling me that during the very short time I nodded off, someone identified that I was asleep in my car, identified that there was valuable electronics in the open inside the car, approached the car in the middle of the intersection, opened the passenger door, grabbed the iPod, closed the door back in a way that didn't wake me up, and got missing. The most likely person is probably the guy who knocked on my window. Meaning he robbed me quietly enough to be undetected, then woke me up? Strange. In hindsight, I wish I would have been in a more clear mind state so I could have picked up and acted in real time. Also, I know realize that cars in Malaysia don't automatically lock the doors while in Drive the way most cars do in the US, so it may be a good idea to physically lock them myself if I am going to be out and in such a form. I'm honestly more embarrassed than mad at this point. Lesson learned: NINJAS ARE EVERYWHERE. In the words of the Wu Tang Clan. "Protect Ya Neck."

A Jaw Dropper

Had you described this to me in words, I probably would have have shaken my head. The breast (well, really the female body as a whole when maintained) is a beautiful canvas and I would have been disappointed that someone dared to deface such a surface. But upon seeing it, it intrigues me. I still wonder how many days in a row it would continue to intrigue me when I open her shirt. What you think?

Stop Me When I Start Lying: Sexual Evolution

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Do Better: Indecent Exposure

Ratchet Ass Hoes. There is no other way to say it. First of all, pretty much ALL of them pissin on the side of the road somewhere in broad fucking daylight. It's as if they decided as a group, "Yep, this is the spot."Secondly, the one friend who didn't have to piss (or finished first, or whatever the situation is) decided this was a Kodak moment. I've pissed some non-toilet places (street, bush, even rainwater downspout before) before, but never has it crossed my mind to take a picture of this occurrence. Thirdly, and most importantly in this day and age, YOU POSTED THAT SHIT ON THE INTERNET??? If I was one of the ones pissing, I'd hit the one who took the pic in the throat for posting such a picture. The instant u put this on the Internet, I can end up in the hands of someone like me who will ridicule u on his own blog to his own followers, or worse it can end up on MediaTakeOut.com or some other site with millions and millions of followers; some of who probably know you and will tell their friends "Hey, check out the MTO article called 'An MTOer was walking down the street and saw these old stank ratchet chicks', I know them." For the sake of the black community, Do Better...

My Inner Conspiracy Brother: NYC and 9/11

Despite all my conspiracy theories and distrust of the motives of many authoritative institutions (police, fed'l gov't, etc), this is one I've opted not to touch on due to its magnitude and emotional connection with the American public. I am convinced that the FBI and NSA were in a "I don't report to you, you report to me" style ego war which stopped pertinent info from being combined which could have helped them locate and detain the suspects before the attacks happened. However, that has been where my suspicions stopped. Despite all the "Bush knocked down the towers" theories that I've heard, I never bought i

nto them. Why is

that you ask? First of all, Bin Laden has publicly had the hots for attacking America since the "unholy alliance" between the US and Saudi Arabia (his home country) came to be. Secondly, my question when trying to fathom the federal government carrying out such a massive attack on its own people was always, Why? What's the motive? When I was recently in NYC, for the first time, I was offered an answer: The Patriot Act. According to a gentlemen (middle aged, very smart but seemingly paranoid) who was staying where I was staying, al Queda is and always has been an arm of the CIA used to push forward foreign policy decisi0ns in an emotionally slanted way. Therefore (according to him once again),

the Patriot Act is much more far reaching than any of us know and is being used as a tool to gradually strangle all of the freedom out of American day-to-day life. It's a population control method, which along with veiled issues like global warming, will be used to spy on and act on every detail of

our lives for the government's own purposes. To make this issue arouse even more suspicion, when I went to Ground Zero (currently in the midst of building the Independence Tower, new tragedy museum, and a 2 Tower fountain walkways where all the deceased names will be etched), there was an entire row of ppl (pictured) with t-shirts, signs, and various handouts advertising their theories that the government was responsible. This is literally a few feet

outside of the site. What kind of conviction do you have to have to partake in that for an issue so emotional to most Americans? And although I still have a bit of a mental block to digesting the theory that the gov't could architect such a heinous act, they make a good point (as did Lupe) about the collapse of WTC Building 7.

I remember hearing that it fell too that day, but I never realized how far away it was from the two towers; it was clear on the other side of the complex. How did it fall when closer buildings did not? Could it be that it was brought down in a controlled demolition (See diagram). A lot of ppl up there are convinced that there was fishiness, I can't say I am right there with them, but at this point, I'm a little less secure about our innocence than I was 2 months ago. Would the CIA set up such a tragedy as a vessel to control the population? Don't know, hell noone thought they would murder the current president either (JFK). So who knows. Do I sound parnoid? Whatever. I've Been Called Worse...

Royal Flush

Man oh man. Remember the movie "How to Make Friends and Alienate People"? I'm wondering when I'll see the book "How to Flush a Championship You Had in the Bag" authored by LeBron, D-Wade, and Chris Bosh, edited by Erik Spoelstra. I'll start by saying this, I am a LeBron fan, and not just because I can't stand Kobe (that snitching douchebag). I admire the man's remarkably diverse skill set and the youthful enthusiasm and intensity he has played the game with. I don't feel he had a team capable of winning a championship around him in Cleveland and I hope he makes it into that "Top 5 players ever" discussion where I think he can belong when it's all said and done. But he's raising more and more questions in people's minds now. The whole "The Decision" and the welcome party in Miami earned him (and consequently his teammates) several million haters instantly. He did his part to dispell the doubters by putting up nearly identical numbers to his previous MVP seasons on a team with another legit superstar in D-Wade and an All-Pro caliber star in Bosh. His status rose even more as he was a clutch as possible in playoff series against his biggest two East opponents: the Celtics and the Bulls, despite Wade playing awful ball in those series. Then the Finals came. And despite a great series (statistically) from Wade and a good series (statistically) from LeBron and Bosh, the Heat let what should have been a 4 game sweep slip through their hands for Dallas's first NBA title ever. in games 2 and 4, they blew large leads in the 4th quarter because Wade and LeBron stopped moving the ball and started playing inefficient 1-on-1 ball on a defense that was prepared for that to happen. Because of his name and relative quietness in the 4th quarters, we already knew LeBron would receive every bit of the blame. Although I don't think he deserves nearly all of it, he has got to realize that this is the reality of his position in the basketball world right now and he has to play like the greatest player in the world when the bright lights are on rather than just having 'solid nights.' After an 8-point performance, he followed with a 17-11-10 triple double night, which isn't bad at all. But the LeBron faithful and Heat faithful (although most of the Heat faithful joined the bandwagon after "The Decision") were yearning for a 35 pt night to punch the haters in the face. That's not what happened. Even the last game, he led the team in scoring, but they lost so it gets swept under the rug; like his 27 pt, 12 ast, 10 reb night against the Celtics when they lost the series last year. He's only 26 (Jordan was 29 when he started winning titles), but what he has to realize and deliver on to shut ppl up is that in crunch time he has to acquire that "I'm better that you, you can't stop me but I dare you to try" attitude. It's what we haven't seen since Jordan. Nobody has had it to the same level as MJ since, not Kobe, not LeBron, not even D-Wade in the '06 Finals (even though he was damn close). Until then, ppl (including myself) will always question his heart and demonize him rather than respecting his incredible talents. You're The King, The Chosen One, the spotlight is blinding for you, the question is: What are you gonna do now?

Back Like MJ wearing the #12 jersey

People know about Michael Jordan wearing the #45 jersey after coming back from his retirement, but what you know about MJ rocking the #12 for a game or two? Like him after his brief first retirement and baseball career, I've returned from a hiatus. Between my month long vacation running everywhere up and down the East Coast, or the increasing stress level immediately before I left Malaysia, I had been neglecting my blog duties. For which I apologize. But I'll make good. And in honor of the Jordan post, u know what sport my first blog entry is gonna be about...