Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Stop Me When I Start Lying: The Perfect Celeb Female Friend

Rihanna. Gorgeous man-eater. Femme Fatale herself. Hot-headed Rock Star Queen. Untameable beautiful beast ...best female friend imaginable? Rihanna....let that sink in. Robin "Rihanna" Fenty, 'Femme Fatale' herself. She's like Poison Ivy from Batman reincarnated as a Caribbean rock star. Let's list some of the detractors we've learned if you're a guy trying to make her your lady (Hello, Chris Brown, Matt Kemp, etc). She's erratic. She's impulsive and simple arguments can become fist fights quickly (That Trinidadian in her) . She's a drinking, smoking party animal who's "open minded sexually"; a nice way of saying she fucks who she wants, when she wants, regardless of what anyone (including he boyfriend/main guy) thinks about it. She's a man-eater who'll love you hard and break your heart if you're shooting for hers. I know all this...but if I was in a room with her. That Poison Ivy potion might pull me in too. That's what makes my guy Wale brilliant. I heard him in an interview recently telling why he loves being platonic friends with her and hasn't attempted anything more. Rihanna is always fun to be around, got her own bread, probably provides alcohol and weed everywhere she goes(I don't smoke, but ppl I know who roll with weed always have friends) rolls with other beautiful party animals (probably safer one night stand/fling candidates than her), she seems a little bi-curious (you could be front row to some interesting drunken sights), likes strip clubs, likes sporting events, knows music (also Wale's passion), and got connections worldwide. On top of all that, she can help you make a hit single and she'd probably beat some chick's ass if she hurt you. It's perfect. Whether you're in the mood to see some naked women, a ballgame, party, or just get blown and listen to music at the crib, she'd be the perfect female road dog. By not getting involved in her convoluted love/sex life, you're gaining all the advantages while avoiding the downfall of the Black Widow's venom. I salute you, Mr. Folarin. You've figured out that by being cool as hell with her but not fucking her (probably not the easiest to resist), you may  be one of the first guys to get very close to her without the inevitable heartbreak, unsatiated lust, and distraction, violent episodes, etc. I know, sounds crazy telling someone to get close to Rihanna without getting any of that glorious vagina; it does sound crazy but I don't know if the ends justify the means. Stop Me When I Start Lying...

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