Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Do Better: Bad Habit of "Reaching" and "C'Mon Son" answers

For this installment of Do Better, I wanna talk about saying foolishness in the midst of an intellgent argument. I tend to find myself in arguments often, about sports, women, politics, life, etc. And one thing I pride myself on is trying to be logical in the midst of my arguing. I don't think like the everyday person but I do try to have some logical defense when I do say things. However, some people seemingly just talk to be talking. And due to being the only one talking people tend to listen and sometimes it makes us as a people look bad. We've seen them embarassing Black America on news, in the media, some have even made it to high positions of power; Jesse Jackson wants to cut Obama's balls off, u remember that? I do. Wasn't a bright moment for our people. When you start somewhere that makes at least a tad of sense (unlike Mr. Jackson) and then go drastically of course, I call that "reaching." Not to be confused with "Wildin" which is just completely shooting out into the dark. For today's purposes, we'll take a page from Ed Lover and call Wildin Out the "C'Mon Son" answer. I've created a scale of different degrees of normalcy in the midst of arguments, complete with explanations. Please go forth and enlighten those you enter discussions with when they get too far off-base. Here they are:

Accepted favorites (AF)
The easiest, most accepted, most popular best answer to the question. This doesn't take much thought, it's probably the first thing that comes to mind when you think of whatever you are discussing.

Accepted norms (AN)
Outside of the accepted favorites, but still a very reasonable and non-controversial answer. Although it's not the most popular, you still undoubtedly can make plenty of sense as soon as you state this answer.

Unconventional but acceptable (UBA)
These are the answers or perspectives that sound odd when first said but upon further review can be very well defended. Depending on the subject, these may sound like reaches at first, but with proper justification can be accepted and logical.

These go off-base for some reason or another. Many times hype or emotion can factor into impulsive reaching in the heat of an argument. Like, I see the basis, but the answer doesn't quite belong in this conversation. These should be pointed out to the "reacher" during the argument to make sure they do not continue muddying up the argument.

"C'Mon Son'"
Shooting off into the dark, firing from the seat of your pants, whatever other analogy needs to be used. Wildin' too much during a serious conversation is grounds to be either ejected or ignored for the remainder of the discussion.

Let's start with sports, easiest to convey:
Subject: Who's the best player in the NBA?
AF: Kobe Bryant
Response: "Figures"
AN: LeBron James or Dwyane Wade
Response: "They are pretty damn good."
UBA: Chris Paul, Dwight Howard, or Kevin Garnett
Response: "I didn't think of them, but I feel where you're coming from. I'll love to have any of leading my team."
Reaching: Carmelo Anthony, Gilbert Arenas
Response: "WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. They can get hot and ball with anybody, but they don't belong in this conversation right now."
C'Mon Son: Vince Carter
Response: "WTF?? Did u really just say that??? I think u should leave this argument to us and sit this one out."

Subject: "Who's the best QB in the NFL?" (I'll leave Favre out of it, I swear)
AF: Peyton Manning, Tom Brady
Response: "Standard"
AN: Drew Brees
Response: "Dude is ballin' outta control."
UBA: Ben Roethlisberger, Philip Rivers, Donovan McNabb
Response: "I got nothing bad to say about any of them"
Reaching: Jay Cutler, Tony Romo
Response:"We're gettin a little off base her. They've had hot spells, but you're lettin the hype get to u. No way in hell u can argue them over the other QBs mentioned."
C'Mon Son: Michael Vick
Response: "BARTENDER!!!!! Get this man's tab. It's time for him to leave, immediately."

Maybe more people can related to an argument about celebrities or something of that nature,

Subject: "Who is the most attractive Black female celebrity?"
AF: Halle Berry
Response: "Classic"
AN: Gabrielle Union, Beyonce
Response: "Hard picks to beat."
UBA: Sanaa Lathan, Ida Ljungqvist, Paula Patton
Response: "They sound unorthodox, but do your research and you'll see."
Reaching: Janet Jackson
Response: "STOP, stop it right now. We've seen her look good, very good before. Lots of sex appeal, but she's not fit for this conversation."
C'Mon Son: Trina, Mariah Carey
Response:"With all due respect, don't speak again for the duration of this conversation. Just cuz someone is sexy and u'd like to fuck them doesn't mean they belong in this convo. "

For good measure, let's even cover an issue that has probably been argued since the dawn or relationships with a multitude of different answers

Subject: Why do men cheat? Always controversial
DISCLAIMER: Read this to understand my points on reaching, wildin and such. We can have an argument about the morals of cheating some other time.
AF: Sex drive desiring diversity
Response:"Yea, we all know a lotta dudes are out gooning, just into numbers. Trying to get it from whoever they can. Can't argue that."
AN: Insecurity
Response: "Makes sense. Some ppl feed their ego on knowing that they can go out and get other women. Women cheat too for similar reasons."
UBA: Unfulfilled companionship in their current relationship
Response: "Most guys do it for less noble reasons, but yea sometimes the companionship and conversation end is what is pushing him towards other women rather than any sexual or ego issues."
Reaching: "My girl's pussy just ain't what it used to be."
Response:"PUMP UR BREAKS THERE FELLA. I know y'all been together a while and u're "used to each other" sexually. Maybe there's more nagging n such going on than before, but that is not the correct explanation. There's a lot more goin on n ur relationship that the quality of her pussy. That's not a suitable explanation, bruh."
C'Mon Son: "Niggas are just made to cheat." (I've actually heard this from someone's mouth)
Response: SECURITY!!!! COME GET THIS MAN!!!! He's not fit to be here. He's degrading the legitimacy of our entire discussion. Seriously bruh, how would u feel if someone said that to u with a straight face."

There are only examples of the ignorance that comes out during conversations that were meant to actual require some kind of thought. We as a people can do much better for ourselves if we think things through especially in public settings. Throwing out half-baked logic-less statements on issues that actually matter are doing absolutely nothing for us. We are intelligent and the information is out there. There is no shame in finding out about a subject before deciding to be opinionated on that subject. Let's Do Better...

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