Monday, September 21, 2009

Stop Me When I Start Lying: The Muffin Top

This is the first of what will be a continuing section entitled "Stop Me When I Start Lying" in which I will cover some subject matter which is somewhat mean or rude but entirely true. Am I mean for creating a section of this nature, possibly, but I've been called worse...

The infamous "Muffin Top" stomach is a problem that seems to plague the young people of America recently. It has been formerly called the 'spare tire' or 'stomach meat' but I believe that the included picture proves that the term "muffin top" is the most accurate diagnosis of this condition. Muffins are notorious for the part right above the wrapping plumping out and overhanging a bit. If you put your hand palm side up against your belt buckle or front pants button and begin moving it upwards, you should not end up with a complete handful of stomach as in the included picture. I know what you may be thinking, I'm an athlete and I'm making fun of fat people. No, that's not entirely true. This condition is a combination of multiple factors: First, there is a significant amount of stomach meat on the front, side, or back of your midsection (see lower included picture), Second and possibly most importantly, your pants are so tight that this meat rises up and sits on the ledge that is formed by the rim at the top of your pants (which is within your realm of control; this extra 'surface' should be considered in evaluating how big your waist is and consequently how big your pants should be), and thirdly as in the picture, your shirt is not long enough or big enough to stop everyone within eyeshot of you from seeing this condition. Therefore, I would encourage you to work out via cardio or core work to avoid this. Even if that is not possible or you are big hereditarily, please dress yourself accordingly so that you are not subject to becoming a picture in someone's phone that gets posted to Google Images so that someone like myself will use it as an example on a blog of this nature. I realize that as we mature, we gain weight that we may never be able to lose again. This article is not aimed at older people, I aim this at people within about a decade of my age (I was born in '87) who gain this condition purely by not working out and still trying to wear sexy clothes from times when they were significantly smaller. I say this because no matter what people say, appearance is automatically a first impression and I honestly believe that we as a people can do better. I'm not permitted to walk up and tell people in public but I see and think about this often enough that I think it must be highlighted. No matter what you say, you have seen it too and wondered why they left the house with 2 inches of completely soft and untoned stomach showing.

Stop Me When I Start Lying........

1 comment:

  1. You have always been really serious about this muffin top issue, you have such strong passion and concern for it that maybe you should start a "A Get RID OF MUFFIN TOP Campaign". I'll pickett with you. Our Health is our Sanity